vacuuming

I have a question - if he goes out all night, where does he get the money to do that? I would just follow your regular schedule, because vacuuming in the afternoon should not be a big deal. And if you can, I'd talk to your spouse about your stepson contributing something to the household, and getting a life. What does your stepson plan to do with his life? It can't possibly be "live with my parents and mooch off of them forever".

I don't balme you one bit. At 20 years old the boy needs to know what it is like to have to get up everyday and go to work and paybills and help out around the house. I would vacume right beside where he is slepping and then start makeing a lot of noice of any kind. Turn on the radio if you have too.

well there was a reality show on for a time. i cannot remember what channel (i think it was family - canada's version of disney) that had a show where the parents of lazy kids (oddly they were usually male) they got them a one bedroom apt which they had to furnish, make their own meals and yes (gasp) get a job- they had to live like this for a month i think...it was great entertainment! but you need to remember is YOUR HOUSE

You are so right. Whether it be your child, stepchild or anyone else.... no one has the right to treat your home like a free hotel. Speak to his dad. Explain your frustrations if you feel you can. Try to get his agreemnt that you will set a deadline for him to A. Get a job..... B. Get his own place. Set up the ground rules that from now on, if you want to vacuuming at 6:30 in the morning, you are going to do it. If his father will not agree with you, it will be hard but try not to let him ruin your days. Life is too short for a slug to destroy your life.

I can understand your frustration but if he had been your own son would you have told the same thing about him then? Anyways if you think he is really a useless fellow why dont you just throw him out of the house? Im sure he will mend his ways then.

Well, my ex boss son is like 28 years old and its just the same as your stepson. He does not work and does not even want to continue his education. Not sure what he wants to do but I think he hates his mum. So do I by the way. :D

if ou can't talk to him can his Dad not have a word with him, , I would think you are entitled to do the vacuuming in the morning as usual , if he wants to stay out until that time then that is his problem , Try sitting him down and talk it out with him ,,or even the 3 of you talk together , I find talking things over makes a big difference and takes a lot of the strain off you too xx

Well, I think it is about time you set him straight and tell him to get a job. It is your house and you should be able to say something when things aren't right. Don't let people walk all over you like that. Put your foot down, it is your house and not theirs.

Maybe you should say something to him. I don't know what's bothering him, but I agree he should find some job to support himself. Doesn't he go to college or something? If he has finished studying, then find work is what he should do now. I think if you stop giving him allowances he would start looking for a job. I hope this helps.

Sounds like it's time to practice some tough love here. What's your husband doing about the whole situation? It's sounds like it's time for this boy to swim or sink. A dateline to get a job sounds good. Maybe you can help him by hauling his behind to a career counselor or job placement place.

Oh I don't blame you. Have you talked to his father about it? Sounds as if its time he earns his keep. Ether by getting a job or helping around the house. Time to shape up or ship out. That's how I would feel about it.

I agree with the other folks here. By letting him do this kind of behavior you are actually doing more harm than good. If he can't find a job, I myself would say it's not unusual. However, if he can't find one then helping around the house is a MUST. For a family to survive, EVERYONE must pull their own weight or the whole family will suffer. As hard as it sounds, kicking someone out is sometimes the ONLY choice.

I say that at age 20 he should be doing something to contribute to the household. He needs to have a job and be helping out both financially and physically around the house. Set a deadline for him to be helping or be out. There are no free rides in this household. My 17 year old daughter has more responsibility than he does. She is still in school, works part time, pays her own way,bought her own car, and helps with housework and bills.

I don't blame you for feeling that way. At 20 years old, he should be responsible enough to hold a job down. You're giving him a free ride, you know? Set a deadline, say the end of next week, to find a job. If not, be tough and kick him out.

You should be real loud when your doing things around the house.LOL He shouldnt be waking up at that time anyway. And he should be contributing around the house. Let us know how you make out when you start being loud around the house.LOL

OMG-- I would vacuum and do it with the music really loud! lol-- 20 years old with no job and not helping around the house- I don't think so- Make alot of noise- Sing out loud- Don't change your schedule around for him! that is crazy!

Go ahead and vacuum! He should be getting his butt out of bed and finding a job. Where does your patience come from,lol.

I would not have very much patience with that. You have to go on with your life and its regular routine. You have already given him more respect than he is giving you just by even considering that it might wake him to vacuum.

At first, i would like to say i am sorry to hear this news, i can not blame you , i feel so sad for your stepson, how can he does this? so angry ! You should ask him to find a job or do something for you , or you will feel tired in the future!

Why not start by having a discussion with his father? Your couple life is in danger here. When one partner is stressed out by something, there should be a good conversation. Talk it will do you some good. Then you can arrange a discussion with your stepson and his father. Communication is the key. Good luck.