Hurt over husband's "indifference"

Guys are like that for some reason. That dont care about anything but what they want. To me i would be more sympathy. What would he had done if you would of gotten in the wreck. I am sorry to hear that Married2aMarie. I am glad that you and your son is okay. Yeah it shook me up the other day coming back from taking my man to work that I blow a tire and because I never had one I really freaked out. Me and my dog hit the dashboard really hard. But my man and his boss came to fix it and then I took him to work and came home.

I don't think you are being overly sensitive. That is a scary situation to be in, especially with your child in the car. Sometimes I worry when i'm out with the kids alone. It doesn't matter how good of a driver you are, if the other driver is an idiot then you still can get into an accident. I'm glad you are ok.

He could see that you wre ok, and he wasnt there to see exactly how close it waa.Perhaps the "indifference" he was allegedly exuding was made to keep you calm?Since the incident couldnt be reworked and solved perhaps he was offering you the only remedy, and that was to be still inside.His getting upset too, wouldnt help you at all, sympathy can have many heads.

My husband also has the "well it didn't happen, did it?" kind of attitude and "well, if it happens, then it happens". It drives me crazy. Not a romantic bone in his body for sure, but he also thinks he is invincible. I don't know whether all men think this way, whether it is immaturity or what. Like someone else said, your husband didn't see what happened so could not see the severity and how upset it caused you to be. I called my husband when he was away at his brother's wedding when I had a car accident. It was just a fender bender but I was upset and I wanted my husband to come home. He brushed me off like it was nothing. Yesterday as he left for work he kissed each of our girls good-bye. I asked where my kiss was and he said he already gave me a kiss. He freakin' argued with me about it. My kids (almost 11, and 14) both told him to just kiss me. For crying out loud, would it have killed him to give me another kiss if he did already kiss me? No matter how long we live together, men and women will always be different creatures. They don't understand us and we don't understand them. It is frustrating for sure.

I'm sure that you were shook up over the incident. Your husband should have at least asked if you were ok. I think that you have every right to be upset. Wait a couple of days and see how you feel then. When we are all emotional about something and someone says something that hurts our feelings, it is feels like it is 100 times worse than it really is. He is a guy~ gotta give him a break for his stupidy gene.

No, you have every right to be upset with him..He could have at least gave you and your son a hug..And I surely hope you do not have this happen again. This wasn't just a little incident, it could have been fatal for the both of you... That was not the right thing to say...

I wouldn't be upset for the same reasons as you...I wouldn't take it personally that he didn't love you....but I just think this is just a weird thing to say. Is he perhaps suffering from depression or stress?

I don't think you were being overly sensitive. I know if you are anything like me I am super protective when I have my daughter in the car with me. I get very upset when I see someone driving like an idiot around me and almost cause a wreck. Your husband could have at least given you a hug and said something like "I'm sorry that happened to you". Or it would have been really nice if he had offered to drive home. I know after a close call like that I would have been very shaken up and not wanted to drive.

I do not think that you were bing over-sensitive...the people that he caes most in the world about was in that vehicle and his disregard for ya'lls safety is appalling to me... Did he rethink this statement after the fact and apologize? He should have....even if he had a terrible day at work..the dafety of his family is the whole reason that he even has to work so I am confused by his reaction... No, my friend...I would be very hurt too....I am so sorry and I am glad that everything worked out.....that you and your son were uninjured..... In my opinion, indifference is worse than out right hatred so I completely understand why you are so upset.... Having just lost my Mom...a week ago...I may be over-sensitive BUT I do not really think so...HE is WRONG!!!

I am not defending your husband, but I think he probably saw that you and the boy were ok, and so was the car, and thought it was just a minor situation that didn't warrant much anxiety on his part. But he could have reacted more sensitively to you. The least he could have done was to show you some concern about your well-being and how you were affected emotionally by the near-accident. Well, this is certainly an area he can work on and improve. I also hope you have gotten over the trauma of yesterday's incident and not let that affect the things you do.

STOP THINK READ NOW AND THINK ABOUT THIS LATER MEN do not THINK like women! You were not hurt in the accident..that is all he seen. You may have been hurt emotionally but men only think that "thank God you were not hurt" and go on from there...just think of the basic training your husband went through...in training did the drill instructor stop and give your husband a hug or a kiss if he to hurt? ridiculous you say..in life one must be tough and not show emotions..that is what guys are taught. you can moan and groan and play the pity card..but that won't feed the bulldog... my wife thinks that by putting me in the dog house when she is mad at me she is hurting me...but quite the opposite..we men reval in being able to then play our card..the well ..might as well do what we want card..then we go out and do what we want..putting hubby on a guilt trip is not the way..use other psychological ways..he probably went back to his fellow guy friends and they all shared the story about your "accident..that was not an accident"" and they will all agree with your husband..well that women for you..blah blah ..so come on her for tea and sympathy..well you got it..what good does that do? just makes you and your husband at odds..do what you want..most people can't see beyond there own beliefs...maybe you kids could learn from this lesson in life..

your husband is taking the view that you must "get on the horse right after you are thrown off"..this means get back in your auto and drive as this is just going to make you a bad driver if you don't get past this. Believe me. I have been involved in a few accidents that made me think twice about driving again. But the worst thing you can do is feel sorry for your self and pout and think too much about what could have happened. I think your husband did the right thing..it may sound a little harsh but in the long run he did the right thing..also you should learn that your child will come to you for advice when he has a similar prolbem..give it to him/her just like your husband did to you He did the best by you...what would a lot of hugs and kisses done? maybe make you lose confidence in your driving ability.

According to ur posted, u said that your husband has never been the romantic kind or the expressive type and you know that he does love both, you and your son. So i guess that you could be over-sensative as you're disappointed by his reaction. However, if he's not an expressive man, he might not be able to show concern, the way you expect him to. I'm sure he worries and care for the family in a different way. From his response, he probably meant that you shouldnt be get too affected by any obstacles which may come by..

Hello, Thank God you and your kid are ok. I have too much of experience with such indifferences with my husband. Please don't misunderstand me but what I learnt from all these indifferences is that they feel offense is the best form of diffense. In this context I would like to recite one or two of my experiences. One day my husband, me and my elder son were traveling in the car when a truck from behind came and hit the other vehicle which was behind us. Although the car was smashed between the vehicles but luckily nothing happened to any one in the car except me who was hurt on the forehead. I wont say it is indifference or uncaring but immediately my husband did'nt even look at me but got down and was having a row with the truck fellow behind. I had to call him and tell him that just see I am hurt. In another instant one morning in the peak hours(for a mother to make breakfast, pack lunch for two children and getting them ready when they are small, morning time is the peak hour) I somehow slipped on the floor. Would you believe what was the reaction from my husband? First he shouted cant you just see and walk? and after one or two minutes asked me whether the breakfast is done and later when he went to office he called me and then asked me was I hurt? So for such people instant feelings or reactions are not there in their dictionaries.

No I don't think that you are overly sensitive. Maybe he is the type, ok nothing happened so shut up and dont make out a fuss of it. It does not mean he does not care about you or your son. He loves you to pieces. It seems that he is not able to express his feelings in his gestures or words. (c) ronaldinu 2009 - the more people I meet-the more I love my dog

I think the timing of this incidence was the key. Your hubby was just getting off work and ready to unwind. You know how men get...they want their alone time to chill after a hard day at work. Although he could have been nicer and more sympathetic, he probably didn't mean anything by what he said. It was just bad timing. And second, like someone else said...he's a man. They don't think straight some of the time. Give him a break and let it go this time. Sometimes we have to let little things like this go. You said you know he loves you so no need to drag this one out. Just bury it now and for good.

I don't think so- I think you are 100% correct- All you wanted was for him to show compassion- Oh my honey are you ok? I'm so glad that you got off the road in time- Not don't let it faze you- Maybe he was having a bad day- or something was on his mind- but still I think his response stunk!

Awww man you were almost hit by a truck for petes sake, you and your son and he didn't even care for your wellbeing? oh man I would of been spewing I tell ya, I would of let him have it! What if something serious happened? and the truck actually did hit you? then what? is he going to say? oh that happens? sorry to sound so rude and angry but i can't believe he didn't even show the slightest concern for you and your child :( men I don't know these days!

Well, almost similar, just take it easy. For instance, I had a deep cut while cutting vegetable for dinner at a friend place as one of my friend kids bumped into me from the back while playing. When he came, he make a statement:" I can't understand you, being cooking for so many years and yet you still get injured. I wonder how many time will that happen??" Some guys are not expressive though they do concern. He loves you very much.

I'm new to MyLot and yours is the first discussion I have read. I don't think you are being over sensitive in being shook up over the ordeal, is it possible hubby was just a bit short because this made you later than normal for picking him up or maybe he had a bad day at work? I asked my husband what he thought and he said he would have asked me if were ok, but then he bit his tongue so I would have to say he's siding with your husband's opinion in this matter on the rest, lol. You shared with him how it hurt your feelings, that's the most you can do, holding it in would have been wrong and could have possible built up to something it wasn't. Good luck and communication is always the key!