Do you think I am asking too much?

I don't think that you are asking for too much at all. I don't blame you for wanting to have your own ring that no one has used before. It would be a completely different situation in my mind if the ring was a family heirloom or something then I would insist on have the diamonds reset. Like you said you have no idea of really knowing if the ring is secondhand or third hand. Besides, this is going to be your tenth wedding anniversary and I truly think that you deserve something special for that feat alone. I hope everything will work out. Who knows, maybe is going to surprise you with a new ring...that would be great.

I think you deserve a new one. It's different story if the ring is the ring that stay in the family. You know like his grandmaother use it and then going to mother and then you. That might be priceless. But just ask him and see what happen.

after ten years of wearing a second hand ring, i definitely believe that you deserve a new one... he shouldn't have given you a second hand one at the first place as it is a wedding ring... i think your husband will buy you another one... just wait for the surprise... :-)

hey Patgalca, I think that you should definitely have a new engagement ring. I told my fiance that if we broke up and got back together and he proposed again there had better be another ring! LOL Well two out of the three isn't too bad I guess. We did break up and got back together, we are now married for 7 years, I never did get a new engagement ring but that is ok. I truly hope he does surprise you with a new ring. :)

Yes I think after that long being married to him you deserve a nice wedding ring. When me and my husband got married we had a decent ring but nothing to write home about. After several years (probably approx. 6, I got me a new wedding ring for Christmas one year). I still have my old one, but I love my new set. Me and my husband have been married 14 years now.

I feel that such personal things as wedding bands should not be second hand. Even if you buy a new one that is cheap does not matter but cannot be second hand. I feel sometimes it could have some effect on your thoughts and kind of make you uncomfortable.

Yes, I think you deserve your own ring. After all, you did wear the secondhand ring for 11 years. It's time for a new one. Do keep the old one for sentimental reasons.

Well, Patty, he COULD be messing with you but then again, he could just be a typical male and -just -not -get -it. (Cheap, too.) Are you familiar with the comic strip "Non Sequitur"? Here's today's instalment: http://news.yahoo.com/comics/nonsequitur

Maybe your husband gave you that ring in the first place because finances were a problem. If it were me, I would want the original ring repaired and a new anniversary ring for the anniversary present. The original ring has sentimental value since he used it to propose to you~ right? You do deserve an new ring, but not one to replace your engagement ring, one to celebrate your anniversary.

I hope ur husband is playing around and intending on getting u a new ring. I peronally would not have allowed my husband to give me someone else's ring if there was any kind of break in the relationship that it came from simply bcos I'm superstitious about that kind of stuff. after 11 years, u do deserve a new ring. My husband let me choose a new one after 2 years of marriage cos I always complained that I gave him teh diamond for my engagement ring, so I still wear my original engagement ring, but I wear the 2nd ring he bought on my other hand. My husband doesn't fuss about stuff like that. He likes spoiling me if he can and we got it on a GREAT deal.

Well, i guess right from the start, u should have told him... I mean for me, i wouldnt be able to accept it if my bf is going to tell me that our wedding ring is second hand... To us, its our wedding, once in a lifetime and we dun get to change our rings like everyday or quite often, so why do we have to do this? I dun quite get it... Perhaps u should be frank with him, because some guys reli dun understand what we meant when we said okie lo, they might jus really repair ur ring and take it that u are happy as it is as u have never voice out ur unhappiness before... I think its time u stand up and do justice to ur ring n urself... But do be tactful when doing that... I once had a experience... My bf had a couple ring with his ex... N he was still wearing the ring all the time, coz he claims he likes it... I never knew it was a couple ring, as i thought it was just something simple and something he liked, until he confessed... I was so angry, i ignored him... But now, he understood that things shouldnt be this way... Its okie now... We are still happy as we were, but minus the ring... =)

congrats firstly on you anniversary patgalca, I got married five years ago with a $50.00 dollar ring which broke a year afterwards. I really think rings arent the marriage at all. I know women and men that would die to have a great marriage or relationship with or without the ring. I also know couples with really expensive rings and are in a really abusive relationships. I would say that the ring is only an item, whats most important is how you feel about your relationship.

Why would you want another engagement ring? I mean, isn't the wedding ring more important? Plus why not just ask for a new ring (whatever it is) but not ask for a replacement of your engagement ring. I mean, how many times must you be engaged? And how many rings must you wear? *LOL* Well, it's really a personal preference. But I just remember how my mother keeps her very simple engagement ring, a very thin gold with nothing in it. She kept it with all her heart, they've been married for 28years now. That was what was given to her, she didn't think about how it looked but the love it felt. Anyways, it's up to you, maybe the feeling that the person who owned that ring had broken off the engagement seems creepy. Plus I'm just guessing that you're wearing a whole lot of rings *LOL* whew. But if it's for a passing-to-generations thing then it's better if it's a good one. But I always thought that wedding rings are heirlooms not engagement rings. =) Don't fuzz too much dear. =) Good luck. This clearly reminds me of my best friend. She got married last year December. A few months after that, the fiance gave her the engagement ring. I was so shocked when she and her mother was checking it out and the mother was complaining on how small the diamond was, telling her that it should have been bigger. It was a negative experience for me, for it seemed they forgot that a person chose that from his heart. Maybe that was the only thing he could afford then, but it was from his heart.

This is really a case with some men. My husband didnt even buy me a ring. Of course in our religion its a choice. But he got one from me.His family is a series of tightwads who weigh money theirs and others to satisfy their wishes and needs. I think if your husband doesnt hint u that he is getting u mention to him that you want one. I do after seeing my husband being a tightwad like his family .its not the same but its driving sense into them right.

Rings are just jewelry. My husband has bought me 3 different wedding bands. I don't even wear the one that we got married with. Your vows and dedication to each other is what is most important.

I think you should get new set completely. He could at least do that for you. You guys have been together for 10 years. He should have enough consideration for you there.

I pity you, but don't worry. I know your husband loves you and no matter what he does, he seems to be telling you the truth and that's the best gift you get from your husband. If he can actually afford a new ring, well... why not buy you your own ring? You deserve your own ring after eleven years of marriage. I understand what you feel, you are actually expecting your husband to surprise with a new ring but then you have to tell him to buy a new one. Well, my husband is like that too, he's not a sensitive person about sentimental things like this. But he is truly an honest person. Any way, I guess we just have to accept it and what's important is he still loves you.