Something I have noticed about happy marriages

You couldn't be more wrong - an understanding husband is the basis of a strong and loving relationship. In any successful marriage both the partners should be equal. We have a saying in India that marriage is like a cart and it will not run smoothly if one wheel is bigger than the other.

hmmm...gotta say...we've been married for 19 years and together for 21...my husband is not an alphamale! I would say either one of us COULD do well in the position if made to be there - but we wouldn't CHOOSE to be there...make sense? My father is also NOT an alphamale...and they have been married for 51 years! I think it just depends on the individuals obviously, but it also depends on the circles in which you travel. If you are involved with a church that really pushes subserviance...then, yes, the happy marriages probably DO have an alphamale...

My parents have been together for all my life and I am 26 and let me tell you my dad is NOT alpha man in any way *lol* I do belive that they both bend over at times. my bf is an alpha at times, and sometimes not. I think a good marriage has a balance and a great deal of respect for one another.

Interesting theory, and have to say I probably agree with you. I have happily lived with my partner for over 20 years now, and I guess he is very much the Alphamale type you describe, in terms of being strong, independant, and he very much does his own thing with friends and hobbies outside the home. Only difference with us is that I'm pretty strong and independat too - I go on holiday with my girlfriends without him once a year, and I have my own career and hobbies too - so that males us pretty much equal in our roles. I'm certainly not a clingy, needy, shy type of female, but I don't try and dominate him either.

Interesting Post! I will have to agree with your interesting and wonderful observations. Frankly speaking, I have not come across the term Alphamale (I will have to see the dictionary). It appears that you have high degree of knowledge about happy marriages. Sensitive people can have a happy married life too. All those face problems in their married life, may not be sensitive...or their problems go beyond their sensitiveness. Many factors count for a marriage to be happy. One is adjustment, how far you can adjust with your partner...how much you can change yourself and vice versa...and how much your are willing to save your marriage. Full marks to your for your extra ordinary observations regarding happy marriage...since you know a lot about happy marriage...hopefully you will be very successful partner after your married life! Have a nice day! deepak

I am not too sure if you are right about that. Only because we are not too sure about what really goes on in a marriage of another couple. I have seen what looked to be very happy marriages break up. Also a woman living with an alpha male may be too afraid to show she is unhappy. Also it could be appearances because the man likes to think he is the boss, like my man of 11 years. He thinks he is the boss but really I am. I just let him think he is. My Oma was the same way, she would say to Opa "your the boss" but really we all knew she was the one everyone listened to. LOL Vicki

I have always thought the happy marriages are usually the ones where the woman dominant, I guess I have seen a lot of men being treated like dogs and they stay loyal seem to be happy and then I have seen nice quiet understanding wives being cheated on, I even said to a friend once I think I will start being loud and nasty they seem to appreciate that....but I think I would rather stay the way I am....

I agree for the most part-I have been w/ the same man for nearly 17 years & he basically replaced my father in my eyes-what I'm trying to say is the father that raised me those qualities that I loved about him my man has-I always said my father was the strongest man I knew but now it's him. I have a male friend who has women problems & I always tell him "you have to be stern sometimes if you're too nice a woman won't respect you"I know I'm gonna catch alot of flack for that response b/c I believe some women don't want to admit that they don't boss around the house-I don't believe a man should some kind of a. hole blow hard just command respect from others +'s 2 U :D

my partner is not an alpha male. he's not a doormat either, but he's not dominant. and we've both been very happy for a very long time. relationships with an alpha female can be just as happy and successful.

Yes frriend what you have observed is right in many cases.Marriage is all about adjustments which the woman has to make.If anyone has to bend it is the woman mostly.Men are happy in that way.They don't really become happy seeing there wives successful or very much independent.They want submissive type of woman not too intelligent alos.I donno why they always feel with inferiority complex so they want that there wives should be under them.Then only they are happy.

Looks like you got a point. I am somewhat inclined to that though I still need some more evidence. One important thing I have seen that many women blow the things out of proportion. That is sometimes a major reason of trouble. One important difference between males and females that I have seen is that while men mostly think about solving the problems, some women just go on making a noise out of it. Mind I am not saying all women. So please don't burst on me. Another thing I have seen that a lot of women always look for guidance. Please correct me if I am wrong.

i dont know if my husband is alphamale! we are happily married, he treat me well, apreciate me, but he's a homebody, he has friends but he doesn't like going out much, and yes he sometimes givein to my drama...

Very well said. I'm proud to say my hubby is an alphamale. He is very strong and independant. Like you said, he isn't controlling or abusive. He love my chilren and me very much and always has what is best for us in mind. He would never allow himself to be under my thumb and he hates drama. It would drive me nuts if he did everything I said. And as he has his hobbies, I have mine and we do a lot of things as a family. I appreciate you recognizing that being an Alphamale by no means makes you the type of man that belittles or degrads women.

This is the same in my case also. I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule on both sides though.

Exactly.....Young Lady ,what you have said is absoutely true.Even I observe certain married couple and find those qualities which you have discussed are found to be absent........Only few males possess them.I consider you a lucky women to have got sich hubi who taled care of you....