how many of you out there deal with befriending your exes?
By gypsygoth
@gypsygoth (244)
Philippines
July 13, 2007 11:57am CST
i think sometimes its rare to rebuild a lost friendship with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, personally i think sometimes its nice as long as your break up wasn't ugly. i'm friends with just one out of the many exes i have at first it was hard to deal with because of the pain and having to long for something more while trying to rebuild your friendship. but in the long run i just realize maybe its wasnt really meant to be and it would just be better to stay friends.
how many of you have been caught up in a similar situation? just curious :)
2 people like this
14 responses
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
14 Jul 07
I am on good terms with most of my exes but there are a couple that I could say that I really do consider real friends. I think the key is in how you end it and to end it before it gets ugly. Always there will be one that is wishing it wouldn't end and so there has to be a time span to heal.
1 person likes this
@gypsygoth (244)
• Philippines
16 Jul 07
well my ex was a smart guy, too smart to fall inlove hard i guess _ he's like a geek and a nerd at the same time but he was at least handsome lol :P
well his previous relationship before me didnt go out right and so his grades in school flopped out and eventually he couldnt cope up anymore so he transfered to my school. so then there we met and unexpectedly we just fell for each other. most of the people in school kinda envied me because my ex was smart as hell lol and people come to him for help with their lessons and projects and stuff but i never asked him once for any help and he ends up giving me one lol :P so anyway yeah we had a short relationship that lasted for like a month or so, because he got scared that maybe his past would repeat and he was afraid to have failing grades again... and i think its because sometimes, he never gave me straight answers and i ended up pushing him and he got more scared :P so then he broke up with me and explained the situation.. at first yah it was hard for me so i had to ask him not to talk to me for like a month or so because it hurt me so much but then after awhile we started talking again and became good friends. :D
@gypsygoth (244)
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
i agree, i think its one reason why i ended up still being friends with my ex although we didnt really break up because things were getting ugly but because he had some personal problems (he had a trauma with his previous relationship so i understood how he got scared, its a long story though ill tell you if you want to know). so even after that we stayed friends because we talked about it and settled our differences.
1 person likes this
@pauloahorro (232)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
Personally I have yet to be really friends with any of my exes, mostly because the majority of my relationships ended well lets just say not pretty, and the excempted two? Well It's just really hard to be friends or-let me rephrase that-just friends, believe me I've tried. Why wont it work? Because as you have learned there will still be some chemistry between you two and it will be a discomfort in such a way that it will either bring you two together again or rip you two apart, it's usually very unpredictable and a lot of times painful.
As for being meant to be, well... How can anyone really know?
1 person likes this
@gypsygoth (244)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
hmmm nice question _ sometimes things like that linger in my mind but then again, right now im happy with the one i love even if my ex and i still talk. he's happy with his life right now and is getting married soon. i'm just glad he found his happiness too :)
@pauloahorro (232)
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
well as long as everyone is happy right?..=o)
1 person likes this
@latsmom (824)
•
14 Jul 07
Ihave satayed freinds with the father of my child and ex boyfreind of 8 years, although I care for him as a freind there is no longer any feeling or want to get back with him. I woudl say that it is hard as he still wants to get bak with me but being together our relationship was volitile, but as freinds we can have a healthy freindship and parent to parent relationship for our daughter, I only hope that eventually he does move on and find someone that can make him happy.
1 person likes this
@gypsygoth (244)
• Philippines
16 Jul 07
well that's a good thing :) at least your child wont grow up without a father figure :P wish you all the luck and well maybe he'll probably find someone too but then if you dont mind me asking, why wont you give him another chance?
@jonaida (574)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
I have no exes because my first is the last, but I would like to comment on this.
I experience this with some suitors that I have to turn down. I have developed good friend relationship with them before they tried to court me and this caused the friendship to disappear somehow, after I've hurt them by turning them down, I am sad because I lose a good friend. I tried to be friends with them again, but it doesn't work, I understand I've hurt them but I miss them... as friends, good friends.
1 person likes this
@gypsygoth (244)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
ah yes that's hard, they were hurt and its understandable that they probably dont want to see the one who hurt their ego or pride ^^; but maybe someday you'll get a chance to talk to them again as friends :)
• Thailand
13 Jul 07
I would like to keep good relationship with my ex too but seem he is not much want to talk to me or care me. I broke him up because he keep relationship with his girlfriend and me at the same time. So I told him to go back to her and I would still being good friend to him. However, since then I and him are very rarely to chat or talk.
1 person likes this
@gypsygoth (244)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
that's sad too :/ but i guess it was a better idea to stay away from him for awhile since he cheated on you
@gerong (11)
• Singapore
14 Jul 07
i personally not thinking of maintain the friendship with exe cuz he alredy got gf, suffer of staying friendship and seeing him got gf while i'm not. i rather no more contact, but he msg me that he miss me, and why he want to do tat since he already got gf! I think it's good nothing between us, cuz i'm really suffer... What should i do? ii just scare i cross over the line and break their relationship...
What kinda situation is this? what to do so that i don't feel suffer anymore?
1 person likes this
@gypsygoth (244)
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
well in that situation i dont think its good to have contact with the guy, forgive me for saying this but i think he's an assh*le and he doesnt know what he really wants :P because he's saying that he misses you but he left you in the first place is total b*sh*t :P
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I really only have one ex that was a serious boyfriend. We haven't really seen each other since we broke up. He and his new girlfriend came to our house for new years eve. we got along ok. I think if he were around that me and him could become friends. he joined the navy i think and isnt in the area much.
1 person likes this
@gypsygoth (244)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
awww well maybe it just wasnt the right time to be friends again :/
@katied1985 (147)
•
14 Jul 07
i still speak to a lot of my exes when i see them, like you i have realised(after many years of chasing and reconcilliations) that it just wasnt meant to be.
1 person likes this
@butterfly39 (3904)
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
So far I did not see my ex boyfriends after the break up...I think they're all happy with their families now, so nothing to worry...
1 person likes this
@Sushicook (690)
• Sweden
16 Jul 07
I'm very close friends with my ex boyfriend. We were together for almost four years, but at the end we realised that we had grown too far apart. After about a year of very little contact we started to hang out again, with our new partners. Now, two years later, we talk on a daily basis and are closer than ever.
1 person likes this
@annabanana85 (193)
• Singapore
14 Jul 07
I'm ok with continuing the friendship after i break off with any of my ex-boyfriends. However, like what everyone says, it takes both hands to clap. Eventually, i have to depend on how the other party feels. If he's alright to carry on with the friendship, then y not?
@ericajoyce (1746)
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
I only had one ex and our break-up was really bad. We haven't seen each other after we broke up.He wanted to be friends with me but eventhough I already moved on I still wouldnt be friends with him because of the bad break-up. It would be wierd being friends with him.
1 person likes this
@vortexprojekt (1)
• United States
22 Jul 07
yeah perhaps its rare but in my case it wouldn't matter, I don't really think I want to see my ex again, and I have not seen her for years. Moving on, I think thats how it goes
