Read the story and tell me who your answer is.
By smints8985
@smints8985 (1594)
United States
July 16, 2007 11:16pm CST
There were 6 siblings. The eldest was the only son who's married and have one child, they are living abroad. The next one was the oldest of the 5 sisters, married with two children and 2 grandchildren, also living abroad. The second sister never got married and still single and lives with their mother. The third sister also lives abroad with 3 children. The fourth one lives in the same city as the second sister and their mother, married with 2 children. And the youngest sister lives 6 hours away from them with 3 kids, 1 of which is staying at the fourth sisters place.
Now, the mother is growing older and she is often left alone at home since the second sister goes to work everyday and goes to church during sundays, in short she is almost always left at home.
The siblings all wanted to be responsible and take care of their mother but have a hard time doing so because of their location. So the unmarried sister and the fourth sister decides to buy a house and live together so that when the second sister is not home, there is someone to accompany their mother.
Now, the mother insists that she does not want to live with her in-laws(meaning her son-in-law) and she is better off by herself at home where she can do whatever she wants at whatever schedule she wants to.
Given this situation, who do you believe should take care or live with the mother?
All of them would want to take care of her, but the old lady cannot let go of her responsibility to her unmarried daughter, still cleaning up after her and prepare her meals.
They all believe that at their mother's age, she should be relaxing and enjoying. But then bottomline, who should be staying/living with the old lady?
Please let me know your opinion and the reason behind your answer.
4 responses
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
17 Jul 07
If the mother is capable of taking care of herself and she wants to stay where she's at and take care of the daughter who still lives there, then let her. What is "relaxing" to one person may not be relaxing to another. Perhaps she enjoys taking care of her daughter. I would say let the situation stay as it is if mom and daughter are happy with that.
1 person likes this
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
17 Jul 07
But the single daughter is always at the office all day and goes home almost 8 at night, leaving the mother alone by herself most of the time. She also thinks it is better to be staying with her sister so that there will be someone who can be there with the mom when she is not home. They are afraid that if there is an emergency and the mom is left alone at home no one knows what has happened to her.
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
18 Jul 07
That wouldn't be a problem if she doesn't insist that she doesn't want a caretaker or a maid. She'll end up having to look after that person.
@pinks0da (328)
• Philippines
17 Jul 07
I think they should let their mother decide on how she wants to live her life. It's also important that she lives in a house where she is very comfortable. If she doesn't want to live in a house with her in laws then let her live with her single daughter alone. But I really think she should be with someone whom she can talk also while the single daughter is away.. They can hire a housemaid to assist her and accompany her at times that the daughter is not there. As to her still taking the motherhood responsibility to her single daughter, I think that gives her joy considering 5 of her children are not with her anymore, don't take that joy away from her. Just let her do what she wants. The children should not be guilty of not being there because mothers understands that their kids has to live their own lives especially those who are married already. They just have to let their mother feel that she is loved nomatter how far they are :).
1 person likes this
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
17 Jul 07
I get your point. But the situation is that, the mother cannot stop doing her responsibility to the single daughter because she has been doing it for her for the longest time, that out of the daughter's busy schedule, she doesn't think she can even take care of herself (in terms of meals, and laundry)
As with hiring a housemaid, the old lady has declined to this a thousand time, she is not comfortable living with a maid around because of some incidents where the maid stole money and several expensive things from their home.
The children all think that it is better that there is someone to keep her company throughout the day while the single sister is not home.
@mermaid911 (798)
• Philippines
17 Jul 07
I understand how the mother feels that she wants to be with her children only and not in-laws. I think she should be staying with the unmarried daughter but she mustn't be serving her since that daughter isn't a little girl anymore. She should stay with the single daughter but the daughter should be the one serving the mother already. Its her turn to serve her mom now.
1 person likes this
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
17 Jul 07
Yes that is the living arrangement right now, and has been that way for more than 10 years. But the single daughter is almost always not home, and the old lady is left alone at home everyday. And yes I also agree that she should not be serving the daughter anymore, but the mother though hesitant still insist that it is still her responsibility.
@jenius (131)
• United States
18 Jul 07
It is not clear if the mother is in physical need of constant care. If she is not and is happy with things as they are why not leave it be? As the saying goes...if it isn't broken don't fix it. She sounds a bit like me in that she doesn't mind having time alone and having the freedom to as she pleases when she pleases. I think unless she honestly can not be alone for health or safety reasons her wishes should be respected.
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
18 Jul 07
Well, her hearing is not good, sometimes she cannot hear at all and she relies on reading lips. The main concern is having noone there at home with her, in case of emergency she might not be aware because she has poor hearing, and she refuses to wear hearing aid.