Stepmum

Hi Emma, I am also a stepmother to a boy (man) aged almost 21 and a girl that just turned 17. My stepdaughter lives with her dad and I. We've dealt with several issues that have arisen being in a blended family and to be honest right now I don't feel like my opinion counts for much as far as being a stepparent to my stepdaughter. I have learned to basically keep my mouth shut because these divorced dads tend to parent out of guilt and it's really hard to fix that issue. Most of our other issues have been dealt with except for this one. I get along with my husband's ex because I have to. I will be honest, I find it hard to respect her because of certain issues. The longer we have been married, the more I have found out about the living situations at her house. My stepdaughter is a good kid except spoiled and it seems if she doesn't get her way she will pick up and move to where she thinks she will. Now she's talking about moving back with her mom because we (I) won't allow her to have a puppy in the house. I also have two biological daughter's one is 22 and married the other is 11. Nice to meet you and I hope everything is going great for you!

Its a tricky situation. I chose not to have children mostly for environmental reasons but knowing my partner has children already was a big part of this. I personally believe that there are so many of us that doing more than replacing our current numbers is somewhet unfair to the planet, so as he has two kids already it seemed a bit off to me to add to that. Thay have also havd a very troupled teenage perios, with problems with teh police and that sort of thing, so its doubly hard being a stepmum when I can't legally be a parent with all the influence that brings. The natural mother and I talk, but are from utterly different worlds, she believes the best thing in life was to get pregnant and never have to work, I believe that getting a degree and adding to the human knowledge pool is more useful long term (given the current overdose of population). All you can really do is be yourself, and remember children need 'parents' more than they need 'friends' in the early years. (That makes sense if you think about it.)

Hello, I'm a stepmother also. I have 2 boys that are my own and one that is my stepson. I cannot have more children but I cherish the ones that I do have and for me I think 3 is plenty. As far as getting along with the natural mother the majority of the time I don't. We only get along if things are going her way. Actually now, I don't get along with either the natural father or mother but, the one that is most important is the child. I need to keep his best interest at heart in light of how I feel about the exes or how they feel about me.