my kids are out of control

I feel your pain. I have a 12 year old son. He's Autistic. He requires routine at all times. I set a firm morning routine and he follows it. I would strongly suggest, setting them to a routine. If you want them to shower or take a bathe at 4pm, then make sure they do that every single day, at the same time. Make a chart of some sort. They can't read yet, of course, so get a picture of a bathtub and put in next to 4PM on the chart. use some velcro and attach it to the chart. Once they complete their shower, maybe let them watch some TV or something. Then remove the picture from the chart and put in a little pocket to show that the task is completed. But, put it on the chart! Matt's school and camp both use these charts to tell the kids what they will be doing each day and at what time. They have no problems with him. Use this idea for any activity that you'll have them doing, whether is going out, watching TV or bedtime. And above all, remain calm! yelling doesn't help and then they win. Hope that helps you. good luck!

I agree with some of the people who have taken the more physical approach. I have 3 kids. My oldest, Ben, was rather difficult in his transformation from baby to toddler. He didn't comply with a lot of my loud 'requests', until I realized that God gave me two hands for a reason. My left hand held his left arm so my right hand could swat his butt. I never spanked more than once per time, I never had to. Also, I bet he can't remember more than 3 spankings in his entire life(he's almost 14). My girls Andie, 11 and Courtney, 9, were a bit easier, mostly due to the fact that I found my hands earlier. There is nothing wrong with a spanking once in a while, as long as it's not the first resort. It should be used as a tool to teach kids about action(or lack of) and consequence. If I took my kids to the store and they started acting up, the 1st warning was a spanking in front of everybody, then it became a trip to the bathroom so I could pull down their pants and spank their bare butt. It's amazing- I don't ever remember any trips to the bathroom(except under ordinary circumstances), and I don't remember needing to leave the store due to an unruly child. Bath time was no different. There is nothing wrong with taking your child into the bathroom, setting the water temperature to just a bit cooler than warm, and setting them in the tub, clothes and all. Lesson??? It shows them that they could have a comfy shower if they did it the right way, but since they decided to fight you, it will be done whichever way is necessary. I did it to my son once, he didn't like the cold clothes. The next night, he was in the bathroom getting undressed before I started the water. Parents shouldn't have to yell, we are the parents. The worst thing you can do is give in to them. If they act up in the store, put back one item they picked for every time they get out-of-hand. Don't take them to McDonalds for that Happy Meal, take them home and give them a PB&J. "Incidental Learning" is very important. "Good behavior results in great rewards!!" I used to say that to my kids. I still do sometimes.

You've gotten a lot of great advice here. I just want to add one thing. You said once you get the kids into the shower, they won't come out, even staying in for two hours. Out of my three kids, my ten year old boy is that way. I don't have any problem getting him in the shower, just getting him out. I tell him when he gets in that his has 15 minutes, and then a 5 minute warning after ten minutes has passed. Then I go in the bathroom and tell him, it's time to turn off the water and get out. This is your warning. If he doesn't listen, I calmly go in the bathroom, reach in the shower, shut the water off and hand him a towel. I know some places you don't have to pay a water bill, but I have to pay one here and I can't afford for him to be in the shower all night. Just an idea for you.

Hello there, I know how you feel because I have three kids of my own. I believe that you are still able to take control over them because they are still pretty young. I know that at times we don’t want to yell or try and correct them, but I also believe that you have to put your foot down now before they get older. I saw the other post about buying them bubble bath and toys and you responded with they won’t follow directions. Well, then is that is the case then you just have to be firm with them and no longer give then the choice of staying in the bath. You have to let then know that there is a time for everything and set a limit to their schedules. I hope in works out for you, I will admit that there are times when it seems to much for me to handle but I simply put my foot down when it is necessary.

HI there. I read thru all the responses and of all the advice you got, I have to agree that the yelling is maybe what is causing you to be so stressed and your kids to be so out of control. I have yelled at my kids when I have lost control and it really does no good at all. remaining calm...or at least giving off the appearance that you are is very important. One lady suggested a chart system. That is fun and does work also. I used to have those little colored stars. They earned their stars and when they earned enough , there would be a treat of some sort. Do you have a husband or friend that could give you an occasional break. Breaks are important in keeping from feeling overwhelmed.

Go get the book 1,2,3...Magic. Trust me it will turn all things around.

I watch that show "Super Nanny" a lot, and she's always harping on not screaming because that gives the children the upper hand, and they no longer take you seriously when you start screaming at you. In fact, they'll often laugh at you when you start screaming at them. Unfortunately, it's hard to keep your cool. You might try explaining to them why they need to shower, or if they're not the listening type, tell them that showering means they're doing a grown-up thing. Kids often like it when they're doing something "grown-up". You might also try giving them some incentive for getting done with their showers, say a small snack before bed time (nothing messy, lol, or they'll have to get back in the shower! :) If they know that taking their shower, and in a timely manner, is going to get them a snack, or another special treat, they'll be more apt to listen. I don't like doing this too often (I feel like I'm bribing them) but it can be very effective when you are at the end of your rope. Also, talk to your kids. Ask them why they don't want to take their showers. Sometimes they may have reasons, sometimes not. If there is a reason (sometimes fears/etc.) try to sooth them. If it is just that they don't like to listen to you, it is important to keep calm and tell them that you are only making them shower/go to bed/etc. because you love them. Kids like to hear that. If all else fails, I say take them into the shower (even if you have to get in there with them) and show them what needs to be done, and how long it should take them to do that. Kids are a constant chore when it comes to showers and bedtime. Good luck to you, and I hope I've helped.

i read the other responses and you got a lot of good advice there. i can say that the yelling does no good. at the ages they are taking away things dont always do it either. we have found different ways of doing things around my house and it works for my kids but all kids are diffent and respond to things differently. when my kids were smaller we did this and it worked good. we made a chart of all the things we knew they had to do every day. like brush teeth, take bath, pick up toys in living room, my kids didnt like meat so we put down eat meat, most kids it is veggies lol, you know though all the things you are having to say to do every day. then i went and got little start stickers. i use a grade book that i got from walamrt. i explained that everytime they did what they were supose to do without me having to say it more then 1 time then they got a star next to that thing. we are big about not watching alot of tv so we told them once they earned 10 stars they got 30 mins of tv time. or they could save the stars for something specail. i made a list every month of things they could use them for. like 40 stars go to the movies, 30 stars go to what place you wanted for lunch one day. 100 stars go to the zoo. etc. the youngest was only 2 at the time so she didnt get what you could really do with stars just yet but she soon figured it out. once the oldest did what she should the youngest just followed. you know monkey see monkey do. its worth a try lol

Why are you screaming? you are the parent if you want them to do something take them by the hand and lead them to the bathroom and tell them it is bath time, dont leave them on there own and expect them to just go about getting it done on there own. show them a little who is in charge by leading them into what you want done and hopefully things will be a little calmer for you and the children.

Today is SUNDAY and I told him to do his home work,but he want to see the cartoon on tv.I told him in good word but she is not listening me,afterword I old in firing word but he is not listen.

I am currently having trouble with my 13yr old due to puberty. But I definitely can help when it comes to younger ones. I have three sons and screaming does not work it only gives you a headache. Stop screaming I know it's going to be hard but the best thing is time out no lie they hate it. And don't send them to their rooms. This is what you do. They get three chances. First time tell them what you want (stop running or no fighting or time to get in the shower) Second time tell them if they don't do what you ask they will get timeout and third time put them right into time out. Pull a kitchen chair out from the table nowhere near a wall or anything they can touch or kick. Sit them there for one minute for each year of their age (3yrs old 3min) don't talk to them until the time is up. Then kneel down and ask if they are ready to do what you ask (are you ready to get a shower now) if they say no tell them they will sit for three more minutes. Here's the hard part, when you first start doing this they will test you. Getting up, screaming, crying, anything to get their way. DO NOT FEED INTO THIS!! If they get up quietly pick them up and sit them back down and all you say is now you have to sit there for three more minutes. It will take forever the first few times you do it. But if you stay absolutely consistant with this, eventually by the time you get to "If you don't do what I ask you will sit in timeout" they will listen. Good luck and I totally understand because I used to be a screamer also once I lost my voice.

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