Wife as a cheater

I have cheated on my husband and, though I am sorry I did it, I don"t feel guilty about it. First, my husband is a good man; works hard to try to provide for me and my children and comes home everyday after work. What my husband use to do, that he no longer does, is communicate with me. We use to stay up til all hours of the night just talking. Mostly it was about our lives before we met each other, what our dreams were growing up and, stuff like the abuse I went through and so on.... Now, unless we are fighting over the bills/money or disagreeing on how my children should be raised, we very seldom talk. I have tried many, many times to get him to open up to me, share his dreams, set goals and make plans for our future (our kids will all be gone in another six years) but, he just won't! I have explained to him that I am the type of person that needs to know where we want our lives to go, make plans and set goals so I know what we have to do in order to get there. His lack of communication has gotten to the point that I feel worthless, unappreciated and undesireable. when we moved back to My hometown, I got caught back up with my daughter's natural father. We see each other occasionally (maybe four times a year now). The last five or six times, we were not intimate because, I just lost the desire all together but, he is someone I have always been able to talk to openly and honestly and, though he never was a real father to my daughter (and, she wants no part of him as, she was adopted by my first husband - now deseased), he has remained my best friend for nearly 30 years. Anyways, you asked why a woman would cheat on a good man...excitement, enjoyment, true friendship/companionship and for their own feeling of self!

I know it may sound like a movie but it is reality. In fact, there is more to it that I am saying but its going to be out of my topic already. Besides its a long story.

You are doing the right thing! sounds like the makings of a movie.

For some country its easy to have marriages dissolved. Why wait to commit a mortal sin? If there is no love and love cannot be revived I see no reason why a marriage should continue since its the children who will be affected the most. Children right now are very smart they can sense trouble in a relationship and sometimes without parents knowing it, they simply blame themselves for the lack of relationship their parents have. To some it is quite easy to forget the sanctity of marriage but how can one forget the children that you brought into this world? One you made a promise to protect? Wherein fact those children need protecting from their parents itself.

You think her husband will still be able to live with her after knowing what she did? I think the scenario will be like this: Husband still accepts her after knowing that she cheated on him for years but he will be indifferent with her. Sad part is the children will come to realize the strained relationship, someday they will want to know about it. Another scenario, Husband and wife will go on their separate ways, husband might get custody of the children. The children someday will ask why? Should the parent lie to his/her children? How do you tell your children that their parents is breaking up and that the mother will be moving in with someone else or she will move to another house without the children? It's a lose lose situation for this family. I think it will take time for the children to understand what had happened but they only have to blame themselves for whatever outcome this may bring. In as much as I do not want to judge the woman but she has this coming for being a bad wife and a bad mother.

I agree 100% with both of you, however, not everyone thinks this way. In my eyes I never try to make excuses for other's mistakes, but I do try to understand the reasons they arrived at these mistakes. I believe that everyone comes to regret their mistakes, especially ones this serioius, at some point and they are the ones who will have to live with that guilt forever. As for the damage done to the children, it is very sad but the children are often quite resistent and with the right support they can overcome. No one can change the mother's attitude, but they can help to support the children. The biggest thing they need right now is for the adults around them to be positive (not focussing on the negative) and let them know they can move forward.

I understand what you are saying that every situation is different. In this case, I think the woman is just plain selfish and a gold digger. Money rules her life and decision. It doesn't matter whether the man is a good provider, can fulfill his obligations or not. If money becomes your God someday faith will turn its table against you.

I can't believe there are people who just don't value the sanctity of marriage and the feelings of their children. Your correct when you say "why marry in the first place if you have plans of cheating?" Come to think of it, maybe its because divorce is legal in some countries.

I know I feel the same way....I don't understand.

is intimacy that important in a marriage? I think in the case of this woman its being blinded by money. Face it I see her as a gold digger. Money dictates her life and decision.

Thank you for your honesty. Unfortunately, divorce here in our country is not legal. I just feel so bad for her husband believing in her, not understanding himself, not knowing why he is feeling insecure and yet not having enough proof. Self doubt is such a strong effect on the confidence of a person. I feel so angry with this woman because, she managed to embezzle some of money from the company my husband invested in. Although we are currently preparing legal actions against her its just unbelievable the words that comes out of her mouth using the word of God. Blasphemy I think is the word that describe it.

If you put it that way, justice will be served then.