why it sucks to know you've been getting conditional love..

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Have you ever took that risk of showing your true colors, of revealing your true self, of removing that people-pleasing mask that you've been wearing for years? Have you ever felt the effect of having others see the true you and watching them turn their backs in disappointment? It hurts when you learn that the only reason you were loved is that you were living your life according to their ideals, standards, and rules. That you were simply acting out a role that fits perfectly into their lives. But when you decide to drop the script and the rule book, you suddenly become this person they wouldn't even bother to talk to. And the only explanation you'll ever get is... "you've changed". Not that you care so much about their opinions or how they feel about you. They have, as a matter of fact, just proven that they are not worth all the love you have to offer. BUT, it still hurts to know that after all these years, they never really trully loved you. And that thought sometimes brings you to this awful realization that maybe, they turned their backs, because the real you is a horrible person. That you were better off as a caterpillar, than when you decided to show your wings as a butterfly. That maybe, just maybe, they have a point...