Are you a people pleaser or do you look after number one?

Guilty as charged, and that is so foolish I cannot even enjoy my life sometimes it seems. I have put my guidelines in for weekend work at my second job, let's just see if I stick to them. Have to have the second job. Both of my jobs are caretaking type jobs, so it is just habit, I think.

Being a nurse you know I am a people pleaser. LOL I use to put everyone first before myself. Now I am learning to be selfish and put myself first. I will buy for myself before spending money on my mom. I take care of mom who is at a nursing home, I have been buying her clothes for years so the last time I went shopping I bought two shirts for myself instead of buying clothes for her. yayaya. I will put my hubby and kids before myself still.

well, i am no people pleaser..what most important for me, is me and my loved ones ...in general, no one should keep themselves with the idea of pleasing everyone.... u will become unhappy and sad, in the race of pleasing everyone else.

That is an easy question for me to answer as I have never been a "yes" person. I value my own worth and take care of myself first. The only exeption was when my daughter was young.

I would definitely say that I used to be a crowd pleaser until a few years ago. I'd also go to whatever party or night out that friends were having as they made such a fuss when I didn't go and I didn't want to miss out. Nowadays I limit my nights out and don't say yes to every single social event that I get invited to. It does get very expensive and I guess I've REALLY grown up now as I like to save my money towards doing up my home or for going on one nice holiday a year or for a rainy day. I do spend money but I am also sensible about saving now. I used to put my friends' needs before my own and I don't do that anymore. My health and life is important to me, there will always be another night out if you miss one with friends just going to the pub but I do make an effort for birthdays, engagements, etc.

I used to be a people pleaser. But now, I realize I can't please everyone. So I am now more of myself. I just do what I think is good, I don't care about the side-comments of people who are stepped-on as long as I'm sure I did the right thing. But I'm not stretching as far as eliminating corruption or whatever. I just do what I need to do, that's it. Some do praise me, others have bad comments, but I don't care. As long as I'm happy. =)

I want to say no I just never sometimes get up the gump to do it. especially with family. My husband says I am a push over when it comes to our family I end up doing things i don't want to more times then I can count. And it does take away from getting things done of my own sometimes my house cleaning. Sometimes other things. it is hard to say no and sometimes if you do you end up doing it anyhow, So I guess I am a pushover.

'value your own worth and take care of yourself' sounds lil selfish well i ll go for 'plan and organize and try to please everybody to the point of not meeting your own needs' one. ps: if i am not mistaking the same disscussion was up b4. i might b wrong tho.

I have always wanted to make sure that others needs are met before my own. This is especially true when it comes to my family. I felt good about that decision. Now that I am older, it is time to focus on me!

I am in between, I try to make other's happy, but I keep myself in mind. I will do things I don't like to help someone, but I won't make myself miserable either. So I am a people pleasure, but with limits, LOL.

I had written a longer answer until Firefox decided to update and I lost it. My own happiness is formost and I want to live my life the way I want. With society and religion professing that we give up ourselves for the greater good, I want nothing to do with it. Who else on this planet can ensure my happiness other than myself? NO ONE! If I can't be happy always, what is the point of life? To live in misery? No way. I help others when I can but no way I am going out of my way to please others. By the way, they never appreciate it anyway. They only expect more because they refuse to take responsibility for their own lives.

I used to be one that couldn't say NO, but I had a complete burnout as a result. Now, I still do for others, but I only do for my kids or immediate family. I'm older and as time goes on my cancer has taken a toll on me and I have to slow down and take care of me. But I always do my best to make myself get it in gear to help my kids and grandkids. Great discussion, can't wait to read your responses.

As with all these types of questions you post, I don't think I am black or white on the matter. I would say that overall, I am a people pleaser. This is because I value my friends, family and colleagues very much and I like to support people. However, if my own well-being was threatened by "pleasing" someone, I would rather take care of myself and suffer the consequences.. I hope that makes sense? x

I'm pretty selfish, but yet very giving. My husband and I protect our time alone as if it were the most valuable thing on earth, because to us, it is. We are private people when at home, but in public, we are very outgoing. We say no to lots of invitations to gatherings.

I used to be a 'people pleaser', my family raised me that way. If I tried to take some me time it was often seen as selfish. Now that I have no elders anymore, and I've had cancer, I try and please myself most of the time. IE: if I don't feel up to doing something, I don't. I find that still some of the old timers in the neighborhood think I'm selfish because I decline being on this committee or that, or helping with the social, etc. I now value my energy and time more, if some choose not to understand, then I figure it's their problem.

I prefer to please people any day than think of myself first. But, sometimes I like to be selfish somehow.

im not a people pleaser, i dont advance myself though at the expense of others