making myLot friends
By Grandmaof2
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
Canada
July 27, 2007 3:01pm CST
I have 128 myLot friends and I have a dilemma. I guess everyone has different ways at looking at things but because I truly love myLot I like to be fair and there has been times I have felt like I short change some of my good friends here at myLot by not being able to give them 100 percent of my spare time and yet I love to have friends I am NOT a person who thinks I am better than anyone in fact I often put others ahead of myself. My delimma is I feel quilty denying new friends but I do look for things now like age and what the interests are. Example if someone asks to be on my friends list I always look over some of the discussions started and when I see that this person is lets say 26 years old and mainly talks about the dating sceen or drinking and parties I gently touch the deny button. I have denied a lot in the last while. I do tend to look for people age 50 plus. Where you're from makes no difference because I love to hear from people from all over the world. I just hope no one gets the wrong impression I like people but I would rather now make friends closer to my own age, seems there's more to talk about because there's far more in common. What do you think ? Am I wrong ? Am I being too picky ? Let me have it guys tell it the way you see it.
12 people like this
22 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
28 Jul 07
Hi there Grandmaof2
I am the same and believe me I have denied a lot lately
I also look into Profiles and check things out before I decide and there have been times I have removed People of my Friends List because all they do is start Discussions and not respond to either yours or to the ones you have responded to of theirs and I find that is not a Friend that is someone who just wants to make money and nothing else
So I agree with you whole hearted there
Oh dear I am under 50 though I have another 4 years to go, I hope you won't delete me
Hugs to you
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
I have good people on my friends list and I would never delete my good ones, your're safe hon!!! I am trying a couple new ones but yes I am getting picky and if I add a not so good a choice I have enough confidence now from all my myLot friends to know YES it's OK to hit the delete key. Thank You.
2 people like this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
28 Jul 07
Hi Sweet! Have missed you! Honestly to answer your question I don't feel you are being too picky. I think you should do what makes you feel the most comfy. My only hope is that you don't delete me as I am turning 32 next month and am not in my 50's. You have however seen my discussions and know me well enough not to post about drinking, partying, etc. The decision is yours though but I really hope we stay friends. Hugzz
3 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
Hey PurpleTeddyBear I'm getting old but I'm not totally nuts yet. You're on my friends list as long as you want to be there. I look forward to hearing from you my dear friend.
2 people like this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
Thanks so much Grandmaof2, I would like to stay on your friends list forever! LoL. I enjoy your discussions and the responses that I get from you on my discussions. Am so happy we are going to stay friends, I was getting scared that you were going to try and get rid of me!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (161010)
• United States
28 Jul 07
I have done it one way, and then another. I currently approve almost everyone, then if I find absolutely nothing in common, or I find mostly inappropriate posts, I delete them. Same if they just want to send me moneymaking links. I find that sometimes what a twenty something is looking for from me is approval they do not feel like they get from their parents, or help with problems in parenting and such. I feel like I have a lot of life experiences and I do not mind sharing, just ask my own kids. You are entitled to deny whomever you please, and for whatever reason. There are people who have requested thousands of friends, because they expect it to help their earnings, but it does not. It is just like any other collection, it takes care and tending. I like to hear from my friends, I have quite a few, and a number of them are less active now than they once were. I still enjoy my time here.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
Thank You for your comments. Boy NO kidding the friends list does nothing for the earnings. I started a post answered a few,added pictures and I got once cent I couldn't beliueve that. Anywat Thanks GardenGerty.
2 people like this
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
29 Jul 07
I'm with you. I'm 56 and won't have anything in common with someone talking about bedroom problems or the dating scene...I'm just not interested. I'm not going to be interested in sharing recipes. I'm not going to be interested in the occult or dark stuff or in rap or rock music. So yes...it's logical to hunt for people who like what you like.
2 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
Oh Bless your heart and Thank You for being on my friends list. We definately think a lot alike.
1 person likes this
@michelleWJ (53)
• China
28 Jul 07
Hi,I'm a new comer here.There are only twelve friends in my friends list until now.I wanna make more friends on mylot.But I have never thought about the situation you have mentioned in your discussion.For me,I love to hear from people from all over the world too.I'm happy to know different thoughts,different type of lives,different experiences and so on.
I won't delete any friends from my friends list.I'm 26 years old,but I hope I could chat about everying my friends and I all interested in.I don't think you are wrong,it's up to you.Different people have different opinions.It's OK if you just wanna make friends with people who are at the same age to you.So don't be anxious about it.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
Welcome to myLot. I hope you will like it here, I'm sure you will. There are a lot of good people here that is for sure. I would like to add you to my friends list, it would be interesting to have a friend from China. I have never been to your country therefore it would be good to hear back from you. Take care.
1 person likes this
@imcreative (17)
• India
28 Jul 07
hi i m surbhi and i m only 22. but as far as your dilemma goes, i think you are right at your place. at your age you have more experience than youngsters like us. obviously its very natural that you would like to share your experience and know about the other persons experience, with a person of your own age. like the same age group is also advantageous because you share a common platform.
and there is nothing wrong if you are denying people you dont want to talk to. its your wish and your right.
so be happy and cheers.
3 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
Happy cheers back at you. I hope you're ready for a compliment because imcreative here goes. I have actually read this thread three times and I can not believe how well organized and down to earth you are. Don't get me wrong I love young people but I have never heard so much maturity from any 22 year old. When I was 22 I thought I was pretty mature and I was after all I was raised by my grandparents. At 22 I was a new mom and doing it solo, but I'm not so sure I would have seen this post in the same light as you just did. This is a first for me but I have reguested you for my friends list. I would be happy to welcome you and by the way Welcome to myLot, I think you will have a lot to offer. ((BIG HUGS))
2 people like this
@sutan74 (1112)
• Philippines
3 Aug 07
Hi grandma, while reading this post of yours I can't help but smile. Really, it makes me guilty when denying some people who wants to be added to my list. But most who requested to be added are male ages 16-45. Ha,ha like you I also check out their discussions and when it's not related to my interest I also deny them. It's not wrong to deny them that is your choice and nobody can force you especially on the net to do what you don't wanna do. Have a great day and drop by my page sometime. Take care
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
Thanks hon and Thank You for your friendship.
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13387)
• United States
27 Jul 07
I do not think that you are being picky at all. I think that you are being very wise and being careful, which is a good thing. I should probably do the same thing as what you are doing. Some of the people out there have only one track minds or create very immature topics or post referral links all over the place. I want to avoid that. I do look at peoples profiles as well and determine from there if I add them or deny them.
2 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
27 Jul 07
Thank You for your kind words and also for being on my friends list. I am very fortunate to have so many good friends. Take Care.
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
27 Jul 07
I agree with your sentiments. I have accepted many people who are 20 or 30 or more years younger than I and I admit that many of the topics are a mystery to me..lol. But I try and give everyone a chance. But I am finding it harder to find time to spend on this site. You are not wrong and it is up to you and you alone to decide who you want to interact with. Let's face it, a 20 year old speaks a different language than a 50 year old. lol. Us older people have been there and no matter what we might tell the younger generations, they decidingly want to find out for themselves about life. Can't blame them and I have no reason to not accept anyone.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
27 Jul 07
You're such a level headed all round good friend. Thank You so much for being on my list. I appreciate your thoughts and your comments!!!
1 person likes this
@Geminigirl (1909)
• United States
13 Aug 07
I totally agree with you. I am not in your age group, but I would like to be your friend because you have good, interesting discussion topics. It is hard to find this here. Many people take it as a joks, or they are just trying to write a bunch of stuff to get credit. I like your avatar because I am a big animal lover. I have been denying people lately, too, because sometimes I think people will add just anyone. Also, if I add a friend, and they start spamming me for ways to make money, etc, I will instantly delete them. Every now and then I will go through my friends list and kind of tidy it up. I don't feel bad about it either, because ultimately, it is your list and your decision. Maybe at first someone was making topics that you were interested in, and now, you don't seem to relate. Things change and people change. Just make sure that you stay true to yourself, and only have friends that make you happy!
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
15 Aug 07
Your comment not only rated positive but I have reguested your friendship. Thank You for your lovely remarks. I appreciate your kind and honest ways. Take Care.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
29 Jul 07
I admit, I am quite picky and when I see someone more in my age group, I am more likely to accept them.
I also accept people of other ages and cultures etc because I have a diversity of interests and like to see and understand how others think.
If there is a lot of questions that I feel uncomfortable with or are about topics I am unfamiliar with, I wait a few days to see if they add something to their mix.
I usually deny the person who had been a member for 3 months, and has asked1 question, answered 10 questions, I watch for a few days, if I don't see changes I deny, I figure they will just be sending me junk mail.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
Yes I'm not so crazy about the junk mail either but I'm getting that sorted out slowly as well. Have a Good week and catch you next time again. Thanks.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
17 Aug 07
Thank You my friend. I am equally as glas we are online friends and I'd give anything if we could actually meet one day. Take Care. Hello J
@mymytri (2030)
• India
28 Jul 07
Ofcourse..It might be your experience.Just look at my discussions.I am around that age what you said but i have not posted any thing about drinking and parties.I love to ask general discussions in which every person can involve and able to give answer becoz i feel happy when i get more replies.Personally i dont answer that kinda questions too.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
Thank You very much for the vote of confidence.
1 person likes this
@sr0415 (1140)
• Philippines
30 Jul 07
Hi Grandmaof2! There's nothing wrong with being picky. You're just being yourself. And it's your choice to approve or deny others.
But I say, that not all those below 26 years old are talking about senseless stuffs. There are also exception to the rule (like me! hehe). I hope we can be friends. :)
Have a wonderful Monday morning and God bless! (",)
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
27 Jul 07
I deny no one and only reluctantly delete someone that has not been active for like months. No one has been a problem yet and that is what the delete button is for. I have a wide range of friends and look forward to most of their discussions. It stretches my world a bit and teaches me things at times. I have plenty of discussions that make it to my inbox and then folder that Mylot is housed in. Sometimes with so many I fear I will be doing too much. That is not the case. Sometimes I run out of things to answer. With the pay now I don't go looking since time is also worth some money.
Good luck in managing your friends list. It is your list and can do what you wish with it. Take care and hope to see another discussion from you soon!
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
27 Jul 07
Thanks for your friendship and for taking the time to answer me. We can't all be the same or think the same and I guess if you have good health and lots of time or perhaps a fast typist, there's all kinds of things to consider. I'm not the healthest friend in the mix nor the fastest typist but I'll always do my best for my friends, because I have good people on my list!!! Thank You
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
21 Aug 07
I understand what you're saying. I have 75 friends right now and I'm almost 50. I love all people of all ages but there are those that you just don't have anything in common with; can't relate to because of age difference, etc. I accept just about all requests but I do look at their profile(s) first to make sure that I would be able to participate in their discussions. I will usually accept them and look through discussions they start afterward but if there's to many that I can't relate to I'll just turn 'notify' off. I don't think I've ever 'denied' anyone; would feel badly if I did but I can completely relate.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
31 Jul 07
I don't think you're wrong m'dear. I don't deny younger folk with whom I have nothing in common but I leave the alert off. I do check their profile and every now and then there is a youngster whose discussions have some appeal for me. One such one was a 16 yr old Indian boy but when I read his discussions now, I can barely understand them. I also find that quite a few people have a very high opinion of themselves and a pushy attitude...these have the alert turned off. I can keep the friends, but not pay any attention to them...maybe it's me who is wrong. I've started asking these younger folk why they want to be friends as a lot of them are new and I think adding friends with no regard for any thing.
Also, a lot of my actual friends seem to be no longer active and I don't know wether to delete them or leave them....just in case.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
Thank You for your comments and Thank You for being on my friends list.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
27 Jul 07
I need to start talking about the dating scene, drinking and parties so that you will delete me. LOL.
Just kidding. I am not active more anyway. :P
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
27 Jul 07
OMG I wasn't thinking was I? LOLlolLOLlol. I see you are 26, well just for the record I wasn't thinking about you in the least, that should be obvious. hehehehe I was however thinking about all the new people coming into my friends list. Just for the record you have had some real good stuff and I enjoyed the messages you sent me. I do have to delete as time goes by because I've had my computer slow way down and I clean it out every so often, but thanks for being there for me as you have in the past. Take Care.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
28 Jul 07
Yea, I just can't resist commenting because you mentioned 26 specifically. :P
But I wasn't lying when I said I am not active here anymore... don't see much of a point.:PP
@mizrae (587)
• United States
28 Jul 07
You are the best judge of your time, and if it's quality friendships and not money that you are after, by all means be selective! I sometimes feel guilty when I don't respond to all my friends' discussions. Sometimes, I just don't know what to say, other times I really don't have time to answer right then and there. But when a subject just sort of "cries
out to be answered" then I make the time.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
I follow much the same pattern as you do. There have been many days I just haven't been well enough to sit all day at the computer and everyone seems to forgive me.
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
15 Aug 07
I understand your delima..and when I signed on a couple of months ago I was determined to stick to people within my age group as well. Then when I started to receive requests from younger people from different parts of the world I reluctantly began breaking my own rule if they had any sort of discussions that I might want to add to.
What showed me that it might be a good idea was a post from a 15 year old student on the other side of the world. We had a lot of chats about life, his attitude and he admittedly said he wanted to learn. The level of his intelligence and his inquiring mind made our chats very worthwhile. I cannot say I mentored him...or maybe I did..but it let me see that there are a lot of 'old souls' out there in young bodies. I re-framed things and decided not limit my friends to any age...but accept them and see what happens.
In the event that they are not active I can delete them later...but I've decided to accept most of those who request me as a friend. Although sometimes I wonder what prompted them to do so.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
15 Aug 07
You are very smart and obviously way more level headed than I am because since I wrote this post I have read all comments and in fact some I have read twice. As if that's not enough I have reguested friends of all ages and it's working well for me. I hope you consider me on your friends list because I'd love more contact from Canada and you sound like a good friend. Take Care...
