Demanding Money to Marry A Girl...What are your views on this???
By indiavani
@indiavani (863)
India
July 30, 2007 2:20am CST
Hello Friends! Once the groom's family asked money (dowry) about 6-7 lakhs to marry a girl. The girl's father thought for a while & said, ok. I'll sell my property whose price is approximately 6-7 lakhs & come with you to live with you after your marriage with my daughter. Everybody was shocked at his answer to their dowry question & the guy refused to marry that girl. Then, after few months the girl got married to another guy who was better than the first guy & he didn't demand any dowry. This happened about 15 years back near my home town (my mom told me about this). Now there's no dowry system in that place.
But there are many places in India where still people ask for dowry to marry a girl. Isn't this wrong? What are your views?
vani^_^
2 people like this
13 responses
@santuccie (3384)
• United States
30 Jul 07
I think it's grotesque. That and betrothal. Matrimony is holy in the eyes of the LORD. Man and woman are making lifelong vows to one another. They are one flesh, they are partners, they are devoted to one another every step of the way.
I don't know about anyone else, but no amount of money, or even physical attraction, can make me patronize with someone I'm not genuinely happy to be around. I want to settle down with someone whose company I could enjoy 24/7, someone I can see myself growing old with.
4 people like this
@GardenGerty (160721)
• United States
31 Jul 07
Traditions last a long time. I am sure at the origin of the dowry system it was designed to help the young marriage get off to a good start. I think the father's answer was very smart.I believe that it is probably time for that custom to be gone.
@bam001 (940)
• United States
31 Jul 07
This is a human rights violation in the worst kind of way. I cannot fathom why a man (a father at that) would call his daughter "property." People ARE NOT property.
I think the dowry system should be abolished in all areas of the world. And, marriage should be entered into for love, not financial gain.
2 people like this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
I think it is definitely wrong. Two people should marry for love, not because they think they will get some sort of financial (or any other kind of) gain from the arrangement. I think people need to choose eachother and marry for love.
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
31 Jul 07
Yes, you are right dowry system, wherever prevalent is a curse for the parents of a daughter. I think in semi-urban or rural areas this practice is still there but I feel that in Metropolitans....the system is changing as mostly girls are earning themselves.
Good Post indeed!
@coolseeds (3919)
• United States
30 Jul 07
I think it is funny that there are some primitive cultures out there trying to get ahead any way they can.
Sure why not ask for a dowry if the woman isn't worth marrying and it is arranged. If someone is in love that is a different story.
3 people like this
@ssh123 (31073)
• India
7 Aug 07
This is a age old tradition which is being meticulously followed even today. The earlier idea was, the boy used to be with parents and when he gets married, he needs A-Z to start a family and hence his father-in-law would give all those things that are necessary to start a family life. But in the present day context, the scenario is different and this practice must be given up.
1 person likes this
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
7 Aug 07
Yeah, that is just insane in my opinion. Women are not properties and shouldn't be bought. That is just degrading and unthinkable in my opinion.
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
31 Jul 07
Yes, you are right dowry system, wherever prevalent is a curse for the parents of a daughter. I think in semi-urban or rural areas this practice is still there but I feel that in Metropolitans....the system is changing as mostly girls are earning themselves.
Good Post indeed!
1 person likes this
@abroji (3247)
• India
1 Aug 07
I am not sure if this system of dowry prevail anywhere other than the countries in the Indian sub continent. I am told that in some middle east countries the groom has to pay the bride's father for getting his daughter in marriage. This custom of dowry is a curse. There is a deep awareness among people in India against this cusom, but still it persists. Because of traditional and cultural reasons most marriages in India are arranged by the parents and dowry is an inevitable part of such marriages. It is high time for the Indians to dispense off with this unhealthy practice.
Thank you.
1 person likes this
@touchnshine (2821)
• India
31 Aug 07
Well I am aware of the dowry system here in India. It's so common here .. though it's a crime .. I have still seen that this system is going on here in India. They say that it's their custom and it's an necessary element .. my God how to tell them that this is 20th Century .. Some people don't marry the girl .. they marry with the status of the family actually. Shame on that people.
@city_addict (84)
• Singapore
9 Jan 09
I had rich suitors, trying to buy me with their money, offered me diamonds for a marriage but... I can't imagine living with a guy I don't love. Hey! We only live once! We are entitled to our own happiness.
