Forgiving People
By sr0415
@sr0415 (1140)
Philippines
August 4, 2007 10:24pm CST
I am a pocketbook addict! *hehe* And in one of the pocketbooks I read, the scenario was this: the guy sent flowers to his girl. In those flowers, a card was attached. It says, "To err is human; to forgive is divine." Hmmmm.... -.-
It brings me to this mail that I received a couple of months ago. =)
-------------------------------------------------
FORGIVING PEOPLE
Where do we get the idea that if WE don't forgive people, THEY suffer?
It's nuts!
Let's say:
a) You are my boss and you give me the sack, or
b) You are my boy and you run off with my best friend.
So I say, "I'll NEVER forgive you!"
Who suffers?
NOT YOU!
I get the knot in my stomach.
I lose the sleep.
You are probably out partying!
While I resent you, I SUFFER!
Meanwhile I tell myself, "I'm right!"
But being "RIGHT" doesn't guarantee happiness.
Here's the point...
To forgive someone, you don't have to AGREE with what they did.
You just have to want your life to work.
You don't forgive people for THEIR benefit.
You do it for YOUR benefit.
So this is your mission for the next 24 hours:
Think of someone that has hurt you.
Just today, practice letting go of all resentment toward them.
Gather all your ANGRY thoughts -
those "I am right and they are wrong" thoughts,
and let them go.
You may like to use your creative imagination...
...put all that resentment into an imaginary baloon,
and let it float away.
Throughout the day, repeat the process.
You will feel better.
Forgiving people may be tough, but is possible.
You forgive people for YOUR benefit.
It makes YOU happier. =)
-------------------------------------------------
SOURCE: Seashell Publishers
*****
Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone!
God bless! \(",)_
3 people like this
17 responses
@lkbooi (16070)
• Malaysia
12 Aug 07
Man every now and then, tends to make mistakes. An old chinese saying "even a saint does make mistakes" could really tell us this fact. To forgive others is a good social and moral walue. This could help us to solve much problems in conflicts and misunderstandings. Forgiving other could always makes us to be able to get along with other happily and harmoniously.
@amber_rhys (100)
• Philippines
6 Aug 07
Forgiving people is good to us... we can have a piece of mine
2 people like this
@nangel78 (1454)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I really liked those words about forgiveness. I am having a hard time forgiving someone who I thought was my friend that betrayed me. I have not spoken to them in 3 weeks and do not plan to speak to them ever again. Yet I like the words about forgiving being for your benefit not theirs. I will keep these words close to heart as I work through this time. Thank you for sharing that.
2 people like this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
5 Aug 07
That is the absolute truth,It is like you hate some one so much that you drink poison to kill them. All the harm is done by you to you. But i like the fact that it expresses you do not have to forgive people for their benefit, I agree they probably could care less, about how you feel. This is an excellent survival tool. Well done and well said
2 people like this
@whimsystoryteller (1743)
• United States
5 Aug 07
This is good. I think that the problem most of the time is that people try to forgive with their feelings/ emotions and that just doesn't work. You have to choose to forgive as an act of your will. You have to make a choice or decision to forgive. Emotions have really nothing to do with forgiveness. You may or may not "feel" like forgiving someone but, as you pointed out, holding on to a grudge hurts no one but the person holding on to the grudge.
Unforgiveness and bitterness are a waste of energy and they can cause serious health problems for the person who harbors them. Unforgiveness and bitterness causes ulcers, migraines, digestive disorders, wrinkles, exhaustion, sleep deprivation and many other ailments. So, basically, by not forgiving, the only one who is paying the price is you.
Now, I will also add something to what was said above. You have to continue to choose to forgive the person or persons over and over until your emotions agree with your decision. It may take a few hours or days or weeks or even months but you have to determine to get rid of that anger and unforgiveness so that you can be free of the pain and anger and results of it.
2 people like this
@lyndee22 (1210)
• Philippines
6 Aug 07
Thank you for sharing the post. It takes sometime to forgive and it takes a lifetime to forget. Forgiving people who had hurt us is an act of obedience to the rules of human being. Enlightened heart and mind leads to a happier living.
@urzicutza (1971)
• Romania
5 Aug 07
well i really like to comunicate with people
and about the forgiving part!yes i love to forgive them butt i never forget!it doesent matter what they do!this is my nature butt from that day on i will be more careful with that kind of people!
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
5 Aug 07
This all makes perfect sense sr! Thanks for the reminder on this honey, I do try to live this way anyway and at theis time there is only one person whom I cannot forgive but they have caused me a lot of pain throughout my life and even though I have sort of came to terms with it now I cannot jump that final hurdle and totally forgive them but I am ever hopeful I will soon - why should I continue to allow them to hurt me! xxx
2 people like this
@th_sia (164)
• Malaysia
5 Aug 07
Thank you for your sharing. I like what is said in this discussion. I do have an incident that i am still unhappy about my friend who is also now a bf of my ex-best friend. I always force to tell myself that i have forgive them, but actually the unhappy moment still shadowing my mind. Who suffer in the end, me, myself and I.
I really hope that i can applied what you have taught and work my life back :p
@touchnshine (2821)
• India
5 Aug 07
Each single word of this post is true .. I truely agree with this. I really loved reading the post. Thanks for sharing this post. I agree that it's not easy for us to forgive someone .. but it's important for our life to move smoothly.
2 people like this
@ASL19741978 (319)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I agree with that email forward that you quoted. Carrying grudges and unforgiveness just makes our lives (and those around us) miserable, and perhaps even causes us to get sick. However, there is one more reason we should forgive people. If we have put our trust in Jesus Christ, then we must obey what He has told us to do, "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us." If we expect God to forgive us HUGE sins, then we must be willing to forgive other people's sins against us. I certainly want to be one of those kind of people who always forgives those who have wronged me. It's a very freeing thing, wouldn't you say?! Good topic!
@haven17 (48)
• Philippines
5 Aug 07
tnx for that email--it really lightens up my mind--im in the middle of my loneliness at this moment--i can't help but think of the person who caused pains and heartache to me--it was really unforgivable but after reading that email i realized that having lots of grudges will make u a bitter person that will make u an unhappy human being.
2 people like this
@girlclothes (45)
• Philippines
5 Aug 07
thank you for sharing that email with us. I had to smile when I read it because I've just recently forgiven my boyfriend. When I thought that what he did would take me quite a while to forgive, I believed it. Only, it was only making me more angry and more worked up. Not that he wasn't contrite because he was, but at that time when I was still very angry with him, I simply refused to acknowledge his sincerity about the whole thing. Then one day it just came to me that since he knows that what he did was wrong and he's fully aware that it really hurt me and therefore had every right to be angry, I thought, I got my point across and there's really no point being angry with him. So I decided to forgive him and things have felt lighter since then.
2 people like this
@mzjmiles (2)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I am actually in a situation that forgiving someone was soooooo difficult. My husband cheated, and the mistress lived nextdoor. She tried to befriend me after the fact, but I just could not do it. However, I chose to forgive the both of them, not because I agreed with what they did, but because I love the Lord, and he said in his word, that he would make our enemies our footstools. So just as he forgives us, we are also supposed to forgive. The email is right, it is not for THEIR benefit, but for ours.
2 people like this
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
16 Aug 07
I forgive some people but other people are really hard to forgive and they do ask for it a lot.
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
16 Aug 07
i agree with the email. it doesnt do us any good if we keep grudges against people. its not only that we get a knot in the stomach, not only losing sleep but also it makes our heart weak. keeping grudges is not good for the health.
i try not to keep grudges on people. when i think about it, it makes me cranky and grumpy for a day. so i try hard to forget about it. its okay if i dont forgive the person yet, i'll just let it pass and move on. ^__^
@mzjmiles (2)
• United States
5 Aug 07
I am actually in a situation that forgiving someone was soooooo difficult. My husband cheated, and the mistress lived nextdoor. She tried to befriend me after the fact, but I just could not do it. However, I chose to forgive the both of them, not because I agreed with what they did, but because I love the Lord, and he said in his word, that he would make our enemies our footstools. So just as he forgives us, we are also supposed to forgive. The email is right, it is not for THEIR benefit, but for ours.
