can you understand these english?

Sounds like simple english

Every language is sacred. Language is source of communication. If some people could not speak well in English, they should appreciated, and good speakers should participate to communicate with them so that they get chance to improve their English. Nothing and none is perfact. But practice makes a person perfact. Thank you.

I over heard our neighbor arguing, they are both drunk, The wife shouts; "When I go there, No more you! Where is you go?!! Later we discovered that the husband went to market to sell his merchandise. (He's a fisherman), but the husband took so long that the wife followed her husband in the market to help him, but he was gone. Someone told her that her husband had already sold all his fishes and went home early, so.. she went straight back home, the suspicious wife bought a gin and drink a whole bottle of it, later in the afternoon, the husband arrives, also drunk and a kissmark on his neck. Then the fight began. The husband replied that with "Syattap Madapakas!!" (That's how he pronounced it)then fell asleep. Of course, they were the talk of the neighborhood for a week! HEHEHE

Let me try buddy. 1. Are you asking on me? Who is asking me? 2. What thing do you have? 3. If I don't speak english, what I am speaking? 4. Take care of yourself because some people are playing around. People are busy. Just try to wait, if you can't wait, you may go ahead. 5. Be back tomorrow. I tried my best. Hope you are clarified. That is why speaking english is very important particularly in the grammar ussage.

1.you ask me ,me ask who? ------I think the speaker don't know the answer,so he\she just want he\she to ask someone else 2.you have what thing? -----what do you have ? 3.if i'm not speak english,i am speaking what? ------i just can or want to speak english now. 4.you look yourself,all people are playing ,no people have time ,you can wait ,you not wait,you go. ------all the people are busying or just playing ,they don't have time for you,if you have patience you can wait ,or you go 5.you tommorow come .what are your funny examoples? ------you come tommorow .what interesting examples can you give

yeah~~ all of them are funny . and personally to sometime ,the reason why they always speak chinese english is not they are not specific ,they just want to make fun .and sometimes they would speak in an exaggerate way , sometimes just as you said ,speak in their hometown-tone! and here comes a really classical chinese english 'GOOD GOOD STUDY ,DAY DAY UP'

English is really important...it is a medium of speech where we can understand other people say...Even if they speak that way we can still understand what they mean for we are trying to ask them back what they say is all about...little English help too but you need to be more specific. yes lots of funny English stuffs are everywhere...

1. you ask me, me ask who? ummmm I *think* that'd be I don't know I need to ask some one else? 2. You have what thing? What do you have? 3. If I'm not speak english, I am speaking what? I AM speaking english, why can't you understand me? 4. YOu look yourself, all people are playing, no people have time, you can wait you wait, you not wait, you go. lol would that mean Can't you see I'm busy? 5. YOu tomorrow come. I'll see you tomorow. :) I've noticed that people who speak spanish tend to speak "backwards" lol ie. "earlier better is"