Siblings who dont care

It may be good to send an e-mail to him giving him some details. But, please do not write other things in that. Let it be exclusively an e-mail to inform him about mother and her illness and how she would love to see her children and near and dear ones. Let it have no ill feelings or the past topics. I am sure your brother would feel obliged to come and see mother. It may be a good idea to send the e-mail and then call him on phone and inform him about the e-mail that contains the details. this would save time and make sure that he sees the e-mail in time.

HI matte5 if I were you I would definetly call my sister or brother if I were in your shoes. I think an email is just not personal enough. And when you call someone on the phone you can tell them of urgency of the call. Its very important to let your family know when some is at that age and feeling sick. Let me know how you make out with this.

I hope your mother is OK, and yes by all means get in touch with your brother and tell him his mother is not doing so well and a visit from him would be appreciated. You can send him a letter or email if you have his address. I know it is hard to put your personal feelings aside but she is your mother and he needs to know, if he does nothing you will know for the next time, and not bother with him.

My grandma is going through the same thing. She has 7 other brothers and sisters and she has only 1 sister and sometimes another sister that comes to help take care of their mother. My grandma is a strong woman and I admire her completley for her strength and compassion. She has health problems of her own and she still finds it in her to get up everyday and take care of her own mother when no one else will. I don't understand why a phone call is so difficult, just to let someone know you care. Matte, sometimes it hard to deal with family like that. My sister and I are having a very difficult time with our own father right now. I would suggest trying the email or maybe even a regular letter. Even if he doesn't respond, at least you know in your heart that you reached out to him, despite your differences, and gave it your best shot. He obviously has a wonderful brother and it's his loss. You shouldn't have to go throguh it alone though. Best of luck to you!:)

I think you should send him an email because he does need to know that your mother is sick. Whether or not he does anything is up to him but at least you tried.

i guess you have to go to his place and tell him personally that your mother want all of you to be with her in her remaining days and she want to spend some time with her children. That maybe being there for your mom will make her feel better. That being with her is a way of expressing that you still love her and that he should be with her. that being there is way of repaying her kindness,love and caring that all of those years that she took good care of her children. That she's not alone. and she will not think bad that because she's old and sick no one will be there to take care of her.

I guess I would call him and tell him about your mom. That is so bad about your brother. I can totally relate, I have a situation that is very similar to yours, and I find it it to be very frustrating. I wish you the best of luck, it is not an easy situation.

well i dont have that luxury as i am an only child, but i would have called him and told him to get his butt over to the hospital!

I am sorry that your brother is this way, my own brother is the same way and it is tough to deal with. He refuses to help with our mother at all, she has been having to live with one of us due to some health problems and my sister and I take most of the time, and one of my cousins will take her into her home, but not my brother and his wife. I would send your brother an email and tell him that your mom is not feeling well and she is in the hospital and give him the number to call her or to go see her. He has to be the one to make the choice to stand up and bring himself to see your mother. He may choose not to, but you know that you are there for your mom and you are taking care of her. Don't let it bring you down if you do what you can and he does not do anything. Good luck! I hope your mom is ok, and will be back to normal again soon!

Hi Matte, I am sorry to hear your mom is ill. I would contact your brother and tell him, and he will have to decide whether to come or not. It is too bad that you are not speaking to him, but I understand because I have a sister like that. All you can do is tell him and hope that he will come. I will be praying for your mom, and I will pray for you and your brother too!

Hello matte5!I'm sorry to hear that and I hope she would recover as soon as possible.If I were you,I would definitely call your brother and tell him your mother's situation no matter what his reaction is.I can imagine how your mother feel when she is ill.So at least have a try,what do you think?Have a good day!

I am so sorry you and your mother have to go through this. My mom is going through something similar. She moved in right next door to my grandparents to be able to take care of them full time. SHe also has a full time job. She doesn't get any help from any of her four siblings, and to put the icing on the cake...my grandmother puts my mom down all the time. She has no respect for her, and puts my aunt on a pedastool even though she could be dying and they don't come over unless she's handing them a credit card. Sorry to ramble on! AAbout your brother..I think sending an e-mail would be a good idea. I would keep it to the point, just letting him know that she is sick and where he can visit if he'd like so there's no confusion later if eh tries to say you kept him in the dark. Maybe he will try to make things right before it's too late...that could just be me being optimistic?

Hi matte5 I'm sorry to hear about your mother taking ill and I pray and hope she will be okay and I pray that you will make it through this time as well..I know about sibling problems my sister and I do not always see eye to eye..I see her on occasion when she comes to visit my dad and I let her be a part of my wedding to stop all family fights..I lost my third child here a few months ago I was almost 8 months pregnant and I phoned my sister and my mom and they were here in less then 4 days to be here for me..My sister and I are so much closer now..I would email him if that is easier for you..Or call him..Don't get into other discussions about over the years but maybe if telling him that your mom is ill maybe it will be away for him to come down and make peace with you and your mom good luck hugzzzz

I think you are alone with this problem. I've 3 brothers and 4 sisters but only 3 of us are taking care of our mother who is 78 years old. Others do not visit or say "hello" to mother despite of all the informations we told them about the ailment of my dear mother. There are lots of people like that who don't care with their parents. I don't know how will they fell if said things will happen to them too. Just always remember this quote, "Do not do unto others, what you do not want others do unto you". Good luck and take care of your mother with all the best that you can do for her. GOD will do the rest. God bless you and your family!

It's a tough call. Sure you can send him an email, but I would think the phone would be better in a situation like this. He may have treated you badly, but you don't want to stoop to his level as you are better than that. I really wish the best for your family.

Hello Matte, I'm so sorry to hear than your Mother is not well. I will certainly keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. As for how to notify your brother, I truly believe that taking the high road in a situation like this, is best for one's own conscience. You needn't call him, and act like prior transgressions never took place. However, if you call him, and apprise him of your Mother's condition, and he responds as with your father, then that will be on his conscience -- not yours. I would ask myself "What would my Mother wish me to do?". My guess is that she would want you to call him rather than send an e-mail, which you cannot guarantee will be received, or read. We cannot force another, even if it is a sibbling, to care or act in a way we would approve of. What we can do is present them with relevant information, and let them determine their own course of action. By doing so, your conscience will be clear when you lay your head upon your pillow each night. If he shows the same lack of concern as he did regarding your Father, and it causes your Mother distress, then it will be because of your brother's actions only. I hope your Mom's zest returns quickly, that she may experience a full recovery. Good Luck Matte!

Sorry to hear your mum is sick, I hope she is recovering now. I think that you should ring your brother as you don't want him to have anything to be mad at your about. Your parent is sick and that is all you should say to him and leave it up to him to come and see her or whatever, put the ball in his court and he then is responsible to choose what to do. I had a similar situation happen with a friend whos mother had a stroke, her two sons were not speaking at the time, he passed the message on to his brother and he only once has ever gone to see his mother and that has been 5years now, but after being told about his mum he made the decision from there on and that is perfectly fine with my friend as he told his brother his mum was not well. All the best and hope for a good outcome for your family.

i think that instead of emailing him, just give him a call, and then tell him about your mothers condition, ask a bit about his health and thats it. because, what if due to some reason he is unable to check email on time? and i really hope that your mother gets well soon..

first of all i just want to say i hope your mom gets better.i know the feeling you are going thru.i had the same problem with my sister doing this.i have one sister that doesnt even live that far and there has been so many problems with my mom and just family problems,and everytime i try to email her or call to let her know what had happened or what ever the situation is,she always comes up with excuses and is never here to help,and i feel it is so unfair to me and my other sister because we are always doing everything we can to help the family,and we are always there.it makes me so mad sometimes because my mom has done so much for her and this is the way she gonna treat my mom.its just not right and not fair.she should pitch in and help out alittle too.i know she has her own family,but hey so do we and were still there when there is a problem,or something happens.but i would email your brother and also call him,tell him your mom is sick,and see how he handles the situation.i wish you the best,i know its hard to deal with.god bless,and my prayers are with you and your mom.take care friend.

First and foremost, this is about your mommy whom also their mommy. I know you are in doleful and at the same time you try to react something which is going to exacerbate the worse situation. Make your mommy happy by telling them about your mommy that need their noble attention. OK let us put the things this way, and I'm sorry to say this following words, let say or 'if and only if' your mommy die, you are the first person that will be blame and for me SHOULD BE BLAME, because you don't tell them the current critical condition and situation. This is parent matter, whacks out all of your bad feelings to your siblings and don't be selfish on this matter as your are the one whom closed to your mommy. Never bother about their attendance.