I am feeling lonely, it this right?

Rose - Symbolizes pure love
India
August 16, 2007 8:40pm CST
This has been bothering me for the last coupla years. Now I seek ur advice about it. I had a girlfriend who was very loving and caring. We sort of became addicted to each other. For some reason, we broke up, and it broke me. I took all the blame upon myself for what happened. Now, after much time has passed, I see all the happy couples around me, and feel a bit lonely. I think this isn't right as I m a student and my priorities are studies. But, I feel there's something missing which is eating me. Also, due to my past debacle, I have convinced myself that I deserve no girl. This has destroyed my self confidence completely. What should I do?
2 people like this
11 responses
@madzie09 (278)
• Philippines
17 Aug 07
first thing you gotta do is accept that your relationship with your ex-gf is over, pretty hard but at least you gotta try. next, don't put the blame on you, never blame or feel sorry for yourself coz that would really put you down. then don't make any negative thoughts like convincing yourself that you don't deserve a girl, that wouldn't help either. focus on yourself, be happy, mingle with friends, think positive things. appreciate everyone around you. life has more to offer for you bear that in mind and everything is done with purpose. your lonely because you feel incomplete, love yourself and accept things that has happend that should help. it's a long process but it's worth it. :) don't let the loneliness carry you away.
• United States
17 Aug 07
I'm sorry about your breakup..breakups are tough but if it wasn't meant to be than it's better off this way. I can understand why you would be feeling lonely seeing other happy couples; that's why you should get out there and start dating. I'm sure there will be another girl out there for you that will make you happy. You deserve happiness!! You seem like a great person and I can't see you having a problem finding a girl. You can balance studies with having a relationship. A healthy relationship is knowing when to give each other space. You stated in your previous relationship you were with that person all the time and were addicted..that isn't very healthy to be addicted. I'm not saying you have to purposely go days w/o seeing each other but if you have studying to do and she has work, wants to hang out with her friends, etc. that is fine. Good luck!
• India
17 Aug 07
Yeah...I am well aware of the present, and have let go of the past. It is just I have this huge guilt inside me whenever I interact with any girl. I know this is not healthy, and I am working to overcome it. On the positive side, I have got a great job with a six figure salary and an excellent working environment...and I am loving it. Thanx for dropping by....madzie and lauraleigh both. I really appreciate it.
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
17 Aug 07
Hi biotechfreak! It is usually normal to be so kinda lonely when you break up with someone you truly love and care especially when that someone is as loving and as caring too. However, try to concentrate on your studies, I know it is hard when you are hurting so much somehow inside. At the same time try to be with friends and maybe one day, sooner than you expect there will be someone whom you will meet that will make you feel so alive again. And don't ever think that you don't deserve someone in your life to care and love you, whatever happened in the past...let the mistakes be a lesson not put you down...let yourself grow on the lessons you had from it and make you a better person. Love yourself and be confident that you deserve something better in this life. Have a nice day and take care! God bless!
• India
17 Aug 07
Mmmmmm.......thanx dear. With friends like u, I'll get over my life's difficulties in no time. I really appreciate u taking some time out for this golden snippet :) Love knows no bounds and I am a firm believer of love and loyalty...I'll get repaid sometime, I know it. By the way, that's a really sweet name u got there:) God bless u!
@vhansen (2029)
• United States
17 Aug 07
No break up is ever all one person's fault.It takes both partners to either make or break a relationship.IF you had been right for each other you would still be together.Stop beating yourself up over this and move on.It's perfectly normal to get lonely.I would be more worried about you if you didn't.Get out and party a little and at least meet some girls.Be friendly,talk, have a drink,whatever.Don't try to pick anyone up right away,you're just trying to have some human contact and buile your confidence back up.I'm sure it will make you feel better and you just might somebody really great.;-)
• India
18 Aug 07
Righto' buddy. Best of luck for me :)
@clocks123 (1225)
• United States
18 Aug 07
first of all i am sorry for your loss i know how you feel i have been in relationships that didn't work out i was hurt but now i know it is for the best i am still waiting for the right man to come into my life i don't know if i will find him but i haven't given up hope you shouldn't either there will be other ladies for you and i am sure you will find the right lady who really loves you and you really love her yes, it hurts give yourself time to grieve those are normal natural feelings best to you
• India
18 Aug 07
Thanx "clocks". U r right.....I am giving myself time. Lets see what the future has in store. And as for u, i have the best wishes for u that ur best man finds u soon. God Bless :)
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
17 Aug 07
Don't let this get the best of you. It won't be the only relationship you have. Putting yourself down is very counterproductive too. Not only that, its not always your fault. Try asking/reviewing if she did anything wrong.
• India
18 Aug 07
she did......she didn't....who knows. It is past, and I m walking towards my future. Thanx for dropping by.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
18 Aug 07
Hi, if you broke up with your girlfriend, it had probably some reason.I know it 's probably hard to concentrate on your school, but you have to find a power in yourself and fight it.Find some motivation, why you are doing this.Right time , bring a new love to your life.Just be pasion.
• India
18 Aug 07
Hi laurika!! Sweet name u got there.....welcome to my lot. First of all....I am not in school....but am graduating next year :) And yeah..I am not the one who takes life down easily, am a fighter.....albeit a confused one :D Thanx dear.....and god bless u. Happy myloting!!
@subha12 (18441)
• India
17 Aug 07
It is quite natural as you are feeling now.But you have to accept that what is happened has already happened. So accept it. Miracle happens very rarely. By miracle she can come back to you. But may be there are someone better awaiting for you.
• India
17 Aug 07
I am a firm believer in miracles......just want ur best wishes with me, and they will happen :) Take care!!!!
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
17 Aug 07
Hey you're young and you've got your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy your youth because it won't last. There will be plenty of time for girls after you graduate. And you'll be meeting lots of 'em too. It will be fun choosing from so many available.
• India
17 Aug 07
:) Wow...u really give me hope! He he.... I'll wait pal, lets have ur good wishes with me.
@huilee (1005)
• Singapore
17 Aug 07
Well, i think its pretty normal i supposed most people have gone through the heart breaking stage and it definately feels terrible to be in such situations... I myself have been through it and i took two yrs to recover from the first break off with my bf... It really torn me apart... I guess for u, u can perhaps take up some activities which u like doing and occupy ur time... This helps... N it helps alot... Sorry to ask, but have u thought of finding the girl back? I mean two yrs is nt a short nor ultra long time... So perhaps u should consider if u really wans her back or not... Besides... Noone should deprive themself of happiness and replaced it with loneliness... I hope u will be happy and yesh, happiness will follow ur way... =)
• India
17 Aug 07
No one in the world knows how much I want her back....we were together for 7 years. I would have gladly gone back, had she not back stabbed me in the first place. Sorry if u feel shocked....but the pain of betrayed love is more than that of unrequited love. Am sorry for u, but, as they say...time is the best healer. Take care missy, god bless u.
• Malaysia
17 Aug 07
It was not your mistake BUT your weakness. I hope you can determine what's make the significant difference. If you like flower, you must know how to plant flower plant and to grow it healthily. There sequence of planting and growing. The happening in your life right now is not loneliness but one's disregard. Feeling self weakness for every minute you take your breath, and every step of your pace. Having said, your 'priority' is the main reason for you to decide for break-off as your decision making system, is very seriously make you mind aches. Look deeply into yourself for your self-nature-nurture process, every time you take your eating, drinking, walking and bathing; does your breath STOP?....sure and definite; your answer is for NO. So this is priority does means. It can be more at one time. Now you have to a good 'wake-up', and this tribulation is good for you to make you matured. To make gaining in energy level to your body just use this miracle word to your ex-girlfriend; SORRY!!! simple but very powerful, like a cheap switch to glow the chandelier light. Go and do it....for sorry!!!!
• India
17 Aug 07
Ya, the past is past. I committed some mistakes by clinging on to it. But I'm gathering the pieces now. Believe me, I have really got some golden nuggets by posting this topic here. Thanx for ur support.
• China
17 Aug 07
hmm...everything will be alright dear~~don't worry...time will cure everything
• India
18 Aug 07
:) It sure will.....it sure will. Take care.