What did your mother teach you?
By magnet
@magnet (2087)
United States
August 21, 2007 8:47am CST
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just
finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're
not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all those peas are gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18, My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP .
Put your sweater on, don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up!"
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand"
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they all turn out just like you."
3 people like this
6 responses
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
23 Aug 07
I actually said some of those to my daughter already. LOL! I also learned those things from my mother and indeed, when put it that way it seems funny but I actually didn't find them funny at those times. As a mother we do a lot of things that our children seems to be at a loss of and they just don't get it that we know best and we know everything and that there is just no chance that we will miss anything and that they could never fool us. LOL!
1 person likes this
@wonderful1 (2075)
• China
21 Aug 07
my mom teach me how to be an independent girl, my mom teach me how to be a kind person, my mom teach me how to be a good student, my mom teach me how to respect olders and parents. my mom teach me how to be a good elder sister. how to be a good worker. frankly, i love and respect my mom, she is a good wife, a good mom, and a good daughter.
1 person likes this
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
6 Jan 08
That is just so cool. I wish my mother would've taught me some of the those things. But, that's alright because I got to learn them myself regardless.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
6 Jan 08
Your mother must have had the same form of logic that my mother had and my grandmother as well. The one about clean underwear was the best. I could never understand why a car that would run me over knew that the minute I would cross the road tht is when my underwear was not clean. This brought a smile to my face.