My sister takes advantage of my mom!

Honestly, there is not much you can do about it. Your mom is 76 and still works. ( What a spunky lady). I agree it sounds like your sister is taking advantage of your mom, but at the same time your mom is willing to do it and help them. As long as your mom is off sound mind and is aware of what she is doing, she has the right to make that choice. My advice for you is to ignore and bite your lips until it bleeds. There is no sense in getting into debates or arguments with your mom. It will be interesting to see when your mom needs your sisters help if she will be there by your moms side. Usually that is not the case. The child that the parent favoured is nowhere to be found when it comes time to help and take care of their parent. Don't dwell on it, don't waste your energy on it. The only thing you can do is live and live well. You have four children and a husband focus on them and say to heck with this crap. I come from a large family, there is always action going on, fights, feuds, disputes, jealous. I do what I advised you, I IGNORE THEM WHEN THEY START ALL THAT CRAP. Hope that helps.

Is she the youngest of the family? The youngest seems to always be the most pampered one. That's how it is in our family. My mother once told me that she gives more to my brother because he isn't as strong as my brother and I. Of course he isn't, he was handed everything and bailed out of every situation he got himself into. Your mom is not doing your sister any favors but I doubt it would do any good to tell her so. Mom's get very defensive of their babys.

I know how you feel, I have 2 older sisters that sometimes I feel they do it too but I brushed off that feelings immediately..not unless of course if they do it always..as in always. My mom is just so kind and since I have no kids yet she's giving all her attention to my sister kids which she is baby sitting. I know she'll gladly do the same with me too if I have already children and ask her some favor.

I have the same problem with a brother of mine. He is always asking my mom to pay bills for him while he is blowing his money on crap. The only thing I can do is point it out to my Mom. At some point she will get tired of paying it. Sadly there are ppl out there who have no problem taking advantage of other ppl. AT PEACE WITHIN

In a situation like that, there is really nothing you can do. Your mother will continue to do these things because she feels that they need them. You might want to talk to your sister, if that doesn't cause any further problems for you, because that could cause a rift between you, your sister and your mom.

Unfortuantely I don't think there is anything you can do to remedy the situation. Has your sister taken advantage of your mother or is it a recente development? If it has gone on for a long time (ie, her entire life) then I don't think your mother or sister are going to change. If it is recent, then there is a chance of changing it. My advice would be to sit them both down, seperatly and at different times, and talk about it withou getting mad and starting an argument. That always seems to help with me problems. Just stay calm. Good luck!

I really don't think there is anything more you can do but voice your opinion to your mom like you have and let her know how you feel. but in the end when its all said and done, its your moms money and her decision. Don't get me wrong, I agree with you 100% she should be old enough to be able to care for herself and pay her own bills. your mom should be using her hard earned money for herself. but what she chooses to do with it is really up to her.

Well that really does stink- I wonder why your mom continues to pay for things for them- It makes no sense to me—especially because they are adults in their 40’s. I think I would talk to my sister and tell her to stop letting your mom do this- talk with her about it- Other than that- I guess your mom can spend her money how she likes- it is odd though-

Sounds like your sister and her husband are definitely taking advantage of her. Why she pays their bills for them I will never know. Have you spoken to your mom about this?

Well some mothers are like that. My own mother inlaw i beleive if she had enough money she would have done the same thing for my wifes brother cause anytime he says hes broke and unable to send her money she takes it and will even be defending him up to the point of putting everything on my wife not until when i spoke out that we too we are struglling!

It does sound very much like your sister is taken advantage of the generosity of your mother and I would be upset with this as well but don't see how their is much you can do about it . If you keep bringing it up to your mother she will probably get upset as I have tried to explain things to my mother about my sister as well and it always turns into a fight . The only thing I can figure is that your mohter actually likes the idea of being needed and for this reason she continues to allow it to happen . Take Care

I wish there was something you could do. I'm dealing with a similar situation. My step dad grandson moved in with them because he was having problems at home. They bought him a $400.00 dog, added him to their cell phone account...all kinds of stuff. I flat out told her she would have never done that for me when I was a teenager. They don't listen. Its aggravating I know. I guess the only thing I can suggest is to grin and bear it. Or else try saying something to your sister. But that probably wouldn't help either. Sometimes its hard, but we just have to sit by and watch these things happen even when we dont want to

My mother-in-law is the same way with my stepson as far a buying things out of the blue. She has even given his mother, my husbands ex money to help pay for things. It makes me mad because we were paying her child support. She would call his mom and see if he needed anything. Of course he always did. Even when she got remaired she helped pay the house payment. The ex had a nice wedding and a honeymoon in Cancun. I have said things to my husband and he has talked to her about it. She said she would not do it if she did not have the money to help.

Maybe your siter have not more money to pay their bills.But your mom dide wrong with your children.If she can buy new clothes or anything fou your children,you can't be very shangxin.Your mom can be change tu do anything fou you and your sister.

Ohh yess..I know exactly what you are talking about..my mother has never ever helped me out when we ever needed it..and being disabled..theers only so much i make on social security..and believe me my son and i have had some hardships..anywho..my sister is 31 now and she has a daughter and my mom is pratically still raising my sister they live right beside each other..and to this day mom helps with everything ..bills,,food.,name it..it infuritaes me..not just that im being ousted..but the fact that my sister wil never know how to care for herself when mom passes away..thers nothing we can do..but sit and wait till it bites them in the a$$...have a good one hun..:)

Yours is the place where yopu cannot do anything but watch. I would have slaped my sister if I were you. coz One should not always ask and see money relation specially Mother is more than Just lady. Also Ask yourself a question "What makes you think you that you sister is crook, or is it that your mom do not buy anythig for your children" Think on it

As my experiences I think you should stay away from this case. Because, this is your mother's money, she can do whatever she wants. It's her money, if she is happy so what the big deal here for her. Don't you think you are a bit jealous (sorry to ask this), because I don't think your mother just buy the clothes, toys for your sister's kids, and not your kids as well. Remember what she gave to your kids, is it really nothing? Yes, i agree with you that as your sister should take care of her family life, they are mature enough, and earn enough to take care of their life. Your mother may help both of you like play with grandchilds, buy food, clothes, toys for them. That is normal, but not always like that for every family. You don't need to get mad, because you did not do any wrong, you may uncomfortable with your sister family, but the time you get mad with her family bring you nothing, You can use that time to take care your family and your mother.

My advice to you is what I did years ago when I was helping my parents with their bills (while I was on a small income) and they were sending money to my sisters, I simply started looking out for me first. I stopped being angry when I realized that each of these parties were grown people and we cannot change people, they must change on their own. One I let it go, I began to sleep at night, I gained a little more income and somehow, God smiled on me and allowed me to have a better relationship with all. Good luck and be blessed.

NOthing you can do about it, so let it go. I think many of us are in similar situations. I learned over the years that my mom will constantly help my sister with money but when I need something she always says you can take care of yourself so I don't need to help. Ahhhh, it would be nice though.

I can understand your feelings. May be your mother feels more for your sister. Try to confront your mother and share your views. Mothers love is unconditional towards children. Make your mother realize that u feel hurt and ignored. I hope she understands.