Being down...
@joey_matthews (8354)
August 24, 2007 8:40pm CST
I used to be pretty depressed none stop and suddenly happy things happened especially with the birth of my son. I started to notice that being down was just the way I looked at things, by this I mean I now see others who are enjoying life and that makes me happy.
There's a point to this I promise you, but I'd like to continue for a moment. I just had to do one of the hardest things In my life and I know it's probably nothing to some but losing a project is pretty hard when you've so much time on it. This as made me think what if I tried out what I mentioned above (seeing others happy)
Would you be willing to tell me your happiest moment?
For myself; The birth of my son... I expect something to go wrong as usual and seeing him grow all this time has brought so much joy to my life. This is just a moment thing, I'll probably be happier and sad about it again but It's a nice thought hearing about other mylotters.
Thanks for being patient.
~Joey
P.s This is hard to understand fully I know :)
7 people like this
18 responses
@kennedee (156)
• Philippines
25 Aug 07
I can relate myself to what you've been through, right now I feel so down and I don't know how to start my life again. I'm just holding on because of the help of my parents and friends. They always tell me that life has to continue but right now I can't think of the happiest day of my life maybe after I pass this trials that I'm going through and I'm really longing for that day to come.
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
25 Aug 07
I wished I could believe my parents when they say "I'm there" part of what I feel is down to them.
I hope things brighten up for you kennedee, I know things will pick up for us both but it's just one of those times we're going to take some time. I just feel stupid :(
~Joey
1 person likes this
@jazzfanz (54)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I know what you mean. i had a long fight with depression! mine was over my x-wife. but as soon as i got ride of the problem. the depression was gone. i think if you fall into depression there is a reason and once you figure it out and want to change you will see a diffrence.
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26770)
• United Kingdom
25 Sep 07
As you know I was diagnozed with depression in 2003 mainly because of bullying abusive relationships, it has plague me for years, but suddenly when I made the big decision to leave back in July and go off to Rhodes for a couple of weeks to start my life afresh and to leave my friend my depression has GONE! It was a fantastic decision and since I made it I have never looked back. I haven't had one single day of depression, that nasty, black cloud has vanished. I can now smile and enjoy life as I should be
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
28 Aug 07
I agree with you Joey- My happiest time also was for the birth of my daughter- and most of my happy times since then are all related to her- My saddest time- was when my brother left my parents house- with tears in his eyes- hugging me and my family- telling us how much he loved us and that he would be ok- He went to Iraq- He is still there- until May 2008- I’m very happy that I have my daughter and my family to remind me of how good things are in life-
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Hi Joey.. I have lived most of my life feeling down and depressed. Just recently I decided to take my life back. I refuse, absolutely refuse to let my family (mom, dad, sister) get me down anymore. I don't let anyone I work with bother me. I don't let anything in life get me down anymore. I am a better mother, wife and friend because of it. I still have self esteem issues and probably always will. But my life is a whole heck of a lot better now, and dwelling on the negative just doesn't cut it for me anymore.
2 people like this
@gesell03 (173)
• Philippines
25 Aug 07
im still on that very process of trying to arrange my life and see the positive aspects in it, we are all in the process and im glad for you that you finally found the meaning of life for you by the birth of your son, i honesty could not think about one life changing moment in my life yet, but all i know is im on the right track.
1 person likes this
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
25 Aug 07
Gesell03;
Just keep going, I greatly believe it's what we make of life and our tests will pass. I know right now this is hard for even myself to accept but a few days and by the 1st of September I'll be like you back on the right track. (my vacation)
Thanks
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13387)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I certainly know what it is like to be very down. I suffered from major depression back in 92 and had to go for outpatient and impatient therapy. I was just so depressed and miserable. Once I started feeling better, I went through some new training so that I could find a better and less stressful job. Fortunately enough I found a job that I like very much and have not been down since late 92. The job that I am at now turned my life around, though I would like more money. :-)
1 person likes this
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I really don't want to think back to see if I have had a happiest moment. That is because then I would be comparing all the coming moments to that and then get down because they were not as happy. Anyway, we can only live moment to moment, so for me I want to see each moment as being happy. I have a hard time understanding different levels of being happy. I want to think that being happy is just that...being happy and there are no comparisons to be made. I think everyone has the choice to feel happy or sad or to change from one feeling to the other.
1 person likes this
@Geminigirl (1909)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I think when I married my husband was my happiest moment. But I'm pretty happy all the time. I have down days too, but like you, I just try to keep my thinking on positive things. I am so happy living my life, and being with my husband and my pets. I like to earn money and pay my bills. I love to keep the house clean, do laundry and fix meals. I'm just so happy that I actaully exist! We are all so lucky to be alive.
1 person likes this
@cassidy22 (2974)
• United States
27 Aug 07
I have NO IDEA. it's hard to see happy when you don't feel happy.
I know I was thrilled to move away to college, it got me out of the house and away from my parents.
I was also happy when I bought my first house. It felt good to know I could financially take care of myself. other than that, life hasn't had much meaning for me. It's all a bunch of bunk most of the time. Work for money to pay the bills. it's pretty mundane.
1 person likes this
@cmsk2005 (1770)
• United States
26 Aug 07
I am not still gifted with any child of my own but i love kids and so I love the lids my sister and brother have and they are almost like my child, So i can feel your joy and I have the same too when I am with them and wit my mom, i am the happiest person in the world when i can spend all my time with my nice and nephews.and my mom. Thats my heaven
1 person likes this
@goddessglamourpuss (261)
•
25 Aug 07
There are many happy moments if you are just prepared to look for them. Yes, life can be depressing but dwelling on things will only make it worse. At the moment I am going through a very tough financial phase and I could sit around and mope about it or worry myself into physical illness about it but it really is just one of those things. I know it is only temporary and when it is sorted out I will be able to appreciate having money again.
The best thing anyone can do is try to find something to be happy about every day. With a little effort we can find a positive slant to anything.
1 person likes this
@surajpkn (582)
• India
25 Aug 07
Hmmm.. I used to be depressed too. In fact, i am depressed even now. There are a lot of things i want in life, which i think are only some of the basics, and i never get it, at least never get it easily. I feel i have to go thru a serious phase of torture to get what i want. Like you say, it is all about how we look at things but i am just not able to take things that easily. Anyways, good for you buddy and take care!
1 person likes this
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
12 Jan 08
Well, Joey, it sounds to me like you are a pessimist person. You need to think positive sometimes and see that there is a good thing that will come out of everything, eventually if you give it time.
Depression is part of every human's life but it should never control you or your happiness. If you find yourself depressed, think of something positive to get you out of that. Moving out of my parents house brought me a lot of happiness and it continued from there on until this day.
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
25 Aug 07
Hi Joey. from your post I have noticed on thing, you have learned a very valuable lesson. because it is our thinking that leads us up or down.and we have more control over our thinking than you may believe. if you need proof think of all the people that are in denial, and you know that it is just their thinking that is holding them there. and another way to clear up your thinking is asking your self, if the emotion that is putting you down is controlled by past actions. For instance self talk "I never will be able to do this" just because you were not able to accomplish something is no reason to stall out . You just learn one more way how not to do something. I used to have a saying I know 27 way of how not to tie up my shoes. and I know 1 right way that works for me. So this way your solution is your doing. Our self talk can crash us or it can work with us, and we definitely have the control over out thoughts.
@lani0529 (1722)
• Philippines
25 Aug 07
Hello joey!(",)
How are you? Hope you are not depressed anymore. By the way, I would like to congratulate you and your wife for the birth of your son. Now, you have an additional bundle of joy in the family.
I'm always a happy person maybe because I always look at things on the brighter side. I'm always optimistic and I often believe that if one door closes, other opportunities open up for you so, there is no need to worry and be depressed for a long period. It is but normal to feel down when you fail but one should move on and go on with life smiling knowing that beautiful things are ahead of his/her journey through life.
Great day!(",)
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
25 Aug 07
I do agree with you that being down is a psychological mood. It affects and influences one's perception. With a child, I guess that takes away the negative focus and transforms it into positive energy as there is someone you need to be responsible for.
This sense of responsibililty, I feel is more important than just being happy. The happiest moment I had, was when I renewed a nearly lost friendship. Our friendship
gone sour after a series of misunderstanding and we all had a hard time coming to terms. Now we are still best of friends.
