If an 11 year old child gets pregnant who is to blame for this?

Well I look back to when I was 11years old, I used to go to places just with my friends, the Baths, afternoon movies, and kids today are a lot more grown up these days, I guess the parents can only instill in their children the rights and wrongs and short of spending every waken second with them...kids are growing up way too fast these days, I was still playing with dolls when I was 11years old....

Hello Feona. I agre with you it must be the parents to blame and what they hawe done or not done to there child. One 11 year old child shell not be pregnant its creasy. Its so sad that here whole life is distroied.

wait wait. everybody is saying blame the parents, but HOW did she manage to get pregnant?? i mean was she raped/molested?? or did she say "ok" to some little boy close to her own age?? now..if she was raped then its obviously the man who raped her who is at fault! i mean, think about that..a male family member could have raped her and if the parents left her in his care they obviously thought he was trustable. right? if it was "consentual" (though i dont think at 11 yrs old there is any such thing) on the girls part with a boy her own age (any older should be charged with rape-cant think of what that term is) then i WOULD blame the parents! they should definatly know where she is at all times! she is young and curious enough to get into a lot of trouble at that age! i have a 12yr old girl, and i always know where she is! i cant imagine what this girl will go thru. personally i think this is an instance that calls for an abortion. she may be physically mature enough to GET pregnant, but is her body able to bear the pregnancy to term without hurting her??

That is just shocking, and yes, the parents have to be held mostly to blame. And the question could also be where have they been for the last few years? For her to be hanging around in situations where this can happen makes me wonder what has been going on in her home environment. Is she wanting for attention? Like I said, just shocking it can happen to someone so young.

oh my god what is happening in this world?how difficult is it 4 that 11 yrs old girl to live in this society.how she control herself from the cruel eyes of people.she is definately vanished from inside,physically as well mentaly.very unfortunate living 4 that child.i says where that irresponsible parents r.they should rather feels more ashamed as compared to child.they dont deserve to be theparents who wont take care of their child.

well i would definately blame the parents,how can they let something like this happen,where were they and were they watching what their child was doing?this is so sad that such a young child has to go thru this,shes a baby herself,and now her life is ruined.todays world is so screwed up with all the parents out there that dont have any ideas what their child is doing and how their living and who they are hanging out with,its so terrible.sometimes parents just think about themselves and dont give a hoot about their children and that is so upseting in my eyes.to me if you cant watch your child,love your child,and bring them up the best you can,then dont have one.people like that should be punished in some way,because they are harming their children not knowing because they just care about them selves.a innocent child shouldnt have to go thru such dramatic things like that so young,it could of been avoided if the parents cared at all,but apparently they didnt.so definately the PARENTS ARE TO BLAME!!!just wanna say good morning to you as well,and have a great weekend.take care.

Hello Feona1962! This is a disturbing situation yet a very important wider issue. I see a bit of controversy developing here, regarding if parents are responsible or not, which is quite understandable. I shall try to present my point of view and every body is free and has the right to disagree with me. I don’t exactly know what the situation was actually, i.e. if the girl was assaulted or if she did it with consensus. If she was assaulted than it’s a different story altogether and if she did with consensus, I consider and hold parents to be fully responsible for this ordeal of the child. True, that children have also free will, it’s also true that parents can’t be every where to look after the child and it’s also true that even if they know where their child is, they may have no clue as to what their children are doing there. Despite all these truths, I still think that parents are responsible. I’ll try to explain. Parenting, for many, has relegated to the concept of providing just bread and butter to children, looking after their material needs like clothes, schooling, toys and likes. For me, it’s a full time job and responsibility. So, even if a parent may not be close to where the child is, a child always carry along the character that his/her parents have imparted in it. Parents are responsible for responsible character building of their children, for their manners, behavior, values, attitude, ethics and their personality. So, while a child has free will and choice, he/she must be told by parents how to wisely use this freedom of choice for ultimate benefit, not only to child him/herself but to the whole society in general. I see it as disturbing that how many parents do not realize that their children are passively learning from them not only through their parents’ thinking, actions and life style in front of them but also when they are not in sight. I believe, and now scientific development also shows, that a parent affects it’s children much more than we could ever scientifically believed earlier. A child may not only acquire physical features from his/her parents but also the character/personality traits, likes, interests and similar things through genes, in my humble opinion. I believe that a child’s training starts much before he/she comes into this world. Science has proven it to pregnancy level but I believe it to start much earlier than conception. I will present two cases here. My son, though is only 7 months, loves to try and do many actions that his parents used to do in early ages including some facial muscle and body movements, even though we never did in front of him. One of my acquaintances’ son did something, not admirable, and his mother later told that she did exactly the same thing in her early teenage (many years before the birth of their son) and both parents thought that her action did affect their child. Similarly there are many, many examples that I can give in this regard. And, though there are exceptions (maybe because of our lack of knowledge) but I think that ‘usually’ great parents raise great kids and vice versa, especially mothers have more profound effect on children (it doesn’t mean that I am absolving fathers of their share of responsibility). When I read through the history of Prophets, I see that great kids had great mothers (and also great fathers), most of the time. In our family, while searching for a partner, a lady (or a man) of a noble lineage or personal nobility is preferred over anything else, irrespective of facial beauty, race, ethnicity, economic status or any other worldly, so called ‘good’ attributes. Lack of values, careless and irresponsible behaviors, increase in age of mental maturity (as I think that youth mentally matured at younger age in earlier days than now), more s*x than love making, s*x being a totally material affair than spiritual one, over individualism rather than collective thought, over materialism, are daunting developments for me and I think that, only if parents are more reasonable towards their responsibilities, our world would be a much better place individually as well as collectively.

The responsibility for children's welfare ultimately rests with the parents, Feona. You'll get no argument from me there. However, with so many working moms now it is just impossible for parents to keep up with their children 24/7. Gone are the days when mom was always home and could keep constant check on her children. Add the fact that they are growing up much faster than they used to-and it's not a pretty picture.

Hi there. Wow, an 11 year old child at that... Exactly, where the heck was the that childs parents... I would truly blame both parents or who ever the caregiver is... This is not on for an 11 year old, who's body is still growing, and to bear a child, that poor kid... As parents to our 11 year daughter and our 14 year old son, we definetly know where our children are, there is no way our daughter who is 11, would be left or put in any situation that would lead to pregnancy, Neither would our son for that matter... A far cry for help...

thats ridiculous where is the parent i would never let my child go with out knowing the basic questions where when and with who the parents obviously never gave her the talk my sympathy lies with the child why was she not informed i cant imagine any one thinking about that at that age she should still be playing with toys or having a few friends

feona who is the father of the child, not the child having the child but the child?

where are the parents. how can they allow such a thing to happen to their 11 year old child? it's pure irresponsibility on their part. no one else to blame but the parents.......

OMG.the world is going crazy. it is shock to hear this sad thing. yes, the girl's parent must be responsible for this. they should teach their daughter well and always try to protect her. but i think the one who cause the 11 years'old pregnant also should be blamed. how can he do that to such a young kid. she is just a kid. well,no doubt the girl's life would be tough in her future. i think what the people who should responsible for this event need to do is to think about how to help the girl to cope with all of this in the future.

"If an 11 year old child get pregnant who is to blame for this?" Pfft, all parties involved. The parents for failing so bad at their job. The kid herself for really being stupid. Yes she has free will but are we as a society so irresponsible, so sunk and me-me ish, that we're willing to do anything despite consequences as long as it makes us or God forbid someone else completely happy?! How much more backward can it get!? And yes what about mister genetic jackhammer? Where's the expectant daddy? Who's the expectant daddy? Of course I can understand your hesitance to reveal that (the answer will probably make my head explode). Back in my youth there was 10 year old in my district who got pregnant. The daddy, a high schooler. Yup, clearly not enough smackdown(physical or verbal) was laid on either kid. Either that or the parents were just AWOL. "Oh but Pro you are so cruel! Why should we discipline our kids? We wanna be their friends." Uh huh, and everyone wonders why our youth act like clownish thugs or spoiled princesses and do things like the topic of this thread. Okay deep breath again. I'm calming. I do wish for the best for that kid and their family. I hope they are able to resolve it rationally but I know its gonna be rough for everyone involved.

I met a young girl about 29 years ago. She was at a friend's house with her boyfriend. My guess was that they were both about 16 or 17 years old. They announced that she was pregnant and her mother was making her get an abortion. Of course the topic of dicussion became the fact that her mother couldn't force her to have an abortion if she really wanted to have the baby. Then the truth came out. She was only 10 years-old. The boy said that she didn't look or act like a 10 year-old. I couldn't believe it. On the way home my husband and I discussed the matter. How could a parent allow a child of age 10 to date a 16 year-old boy. This freaked us out. Most girls of that age were still playing with Barbie Dolls.

OMG I think thats really awful. What kind of a animal would do this to an 11 old child? That is truely sad for the child.

An 11 year old getting pregnant? Most definitely the parents fault. She is still a child, how could that have happened to her? I really don't know what to say my friend, I just don't understand how something like this could happen to a child. I am speechless!

In most cases yes. And yes how could you not know, but it takes minutes only in a dark closet. I had a Thlinket boyfriend when I lived in Alaska and he admitted that girls as young as twelve would get pregnant because of the benefits they would get. They would basically be an adult - a house is even provided for married Natives. They get benefits from the government and their Native Corporation. So many tried hard - they had this as a goal. So sad.

Yup, parents are held responsible for their children's whereabouts...especially if the child is only 11 years old. There are circumstances though, like is the child an orphan, or born out of wedlock and the mother abandons her to the care of some relatives? It is deplorable to not that very young children are sometimes the victims of unpleasant circumstances which are not their choice...definitely, the child's future may be doomed as a result of an unwanted pregnancy which she has very little or no knowledge about its consequences. Whether she did 'it' willfully or not, still the parents are held liable to the unfortunate situation the child is in...but for me, we should not condemn either the parents or the child...what they need is some advice as to how to deal with this situation....

I think you're right. 11 is way too young to be unsupervised. I kept track of where my kids were, up to, and after the age of 18. lol In fact, 2 of them still livw with me, and the youngest is 25. I try to keep track of them, as much as possible, because I worry myself sick, if they don't come home from work on time. Am I just a little over protective?