need serious opinions please
By Ravenladyj
@Ravenladyj (22902)
United States
August 25, 2007 3:25pm CST
Okay....now I KNOW along with some of my friends, my husband etc what we think of the following interactions....but there are ppl who feel differently to it...What I would like to know is what you all think about the following bits of various internet/messanger conversations between a 14 yr old girl and a 34 yr old man...
CONVERSATION #1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
34 yr/old male = i think you should take the bus tomorrow so you get here sooner
14 yr/old female = i dont know how to take the bus
34 yr/old = i can tell you its easy
14 yr/old = yeha i know but i dont really want to it would be weird with like other people**
34 y/o = lots of kids take the bus
14 y/o = yeah so? im not lots of kids and besides i dont have any money
34 yr/o = ill give you the money
14 yr/old = im not gonna take your money i'll just walk its easier
CONVO #2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
34 y/o = come sit with me!
14 y/o = hold on
34 y/o = ok love you!
CONVO #3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(she was told to tell her father she was goin to the store)
14 y/o = why do u want me to tell him?
34 y/o = just because
14 yr/o = why though? you must have a reason
34 y/0 = cant you just trust me?
14 y/o = yes, but i dont like when ppl tell me to do things out a reason
34 y/o = i didnt tell you.. i asked you
14 y/o = no you said " go tell your dad your going to the store at 4" ...fine w.e
34 y/o = thank you....dont you be grumpy with me
14 y/o = your one to talk mr
34 yr/o = im not grumpy with you... im grumpy with *****
14 yr/o = yeah...but you wont let me watch gilmore girls..what happened to the time you get to spend with me
34 YR/O = yeah.. i want to spend it with YOU.. not you and *****
14 YR/O = i know but still
34 Y/O = we'll leave in 10 min hun
14 Y/O = k
34 Y/O = love you
14 Y/O = ditto
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
thats really all I can share at this point but there is also a convo where he has agreed to buy the 14 yr old TWO 26 oz bottles of Vodka, smoke dope with her and also says all the time that he loves her, misses her and so on (she lives elsewhere)...Keep in mind too that he DOES NOT say things like that to her (I love you/miss you/wanna smoke one etc etc) in front of her father....
Now I realize that its only bits an pcs but on the convo bits and the additional info..what would you think about the situation? Harmless or no?
I'd particularly like to hear from parents and get their opinions but everyones opinion is welcome and appreciated...
7 people like this
18 responses
@Riptide (2758)
• United States
26 Aug 07
I think it is quite obvious what is going on here. This man is obviously up to no good.Someone needs to find out where he lives and arrest his a$$. The conversation he is having with that young girl is very unapproriate and he is obviously trying to lure her to his house.
3 people like this
@inked4life (4224)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Besides the overall creepiness of the whole thing what is really bothersome to me is that he is getting her to lie to her parents about where she is going to be. I couldn't just shrug this off....my daughter would not be allowed anywhere near the computer and I'd find out exactly where this creep lives and deal with it personally.....I'm pretty sure he'd get the message by the time I was done
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
25 Aug 07
"I'd find out exactly where this creep lives and deal with it personally"
ahh...he lives with her father :-/ and that in itself is disturbing due to reasons I cant really share at the moment (NO the father is NOT a diddler etc)..
I'm telling ya Inked, the WHOLE scene/situation is alot more complex than what I've shared and its a MESS!!
2 people like this
@inked4life (4224)
• United States
25 Aug 07
oh man, that makes it 100 times creepier than it already is...what kind of father allows that crap?
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
26 Aug 07
Bah why even bother. Slowly but surely the me-me-me self-absorption got to the dad and he decided not to be a real parent, he probably just focuses on himself day in an day out. I feel sorry for all of them and they need a harsh reality check before something sickening (yes even worse) happens.
1 person likes this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
26 Aug 07
Well I think it's VERY fishing and needs some SERIOUS investigation.
That's is some strange conversations and the love you bits is strange too. Esp since he doesn't talk like that in front of her father.
If nothing else I think the father should know about the illegal activities that has been confirmed.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
27 Aug 07
Well sadly both him and my mother have bought my niece booze, in fact my brother has bought it for her more than once and she is now sneaking it out of his house in a backpack....BUT I'd hoped that SOMEONE ELSE buying her booze would get him into the real world..Unfortunately he came home from his trip with his daughter tonight and the 34 y/o weaseled his way out of it..my brother got ticked at his gf (my friend), said she is just trying to stir up trouble, ruined his vacation with his daughter and that she needs help..Basically he's pretty much blown the entire thing off as I knew in my gut he would (it wouldnt be the first time)...TO THE POINT that he expects my friend to STAY THERE STILL WITH HER DAUGHTER, continue to be his gf and "just ignore" the roommate until he moves out mid Sept!!!
*big sigh* when I say my family is SCREWED UP I really really mean MY FAMILY IS SCREWED UP....I'm disgusted, ashamed, revolted and most of all...I'm not leaving it alone...I cant hell I refuse to!!
2 people like this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
4 Sep 07
I know all about screwy families.
And I totally agree that there is no way you should drop this. Please let me know how it goes!
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back at you sweetie.
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
26 Aug 07
It's not normal for a 34 year old man to be talking to a 14 year old girl. It's sick and shouldn't be allowed. I don't care if it seems harmless or not. It's something that shouldn't be. It's not right and I would put a stop to it. I wouldn't care if the 14 year old had a hissy fit. She shouldn't be talking to a 34 year old man.
The conversation you shared here isn't a harmless convo. Something is up and I wouldn't allow it.
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
25 Aug 07
Ok let's remove the dialog and replace it with them talking about sports, cute kittens and ice cream....34 year old non relatives have no business befriending a 14 year old on the net, period. I would have problems right at the start and I would notify the police.
Now add to this those conversations, Oh hell no. I mean you can't have bigger Red lights flashing and going off with "PERV ALERT!!!".
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Yea I've been red flaggin like crazy believe me...and its been a trigger for me as well in a bad way but thats a thread all in itself ya know....
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
26 Aug 07
I would consider that extremely harmful. That would just set my radar blipping, you know? It seems highly inappropriate.
"Keep in mind too that he DOES NOT say things like that to her (I love you/miss you/wanna smoke one etc etc) in front of her father...."
Does her father know this person? Because I'd be even more disturbed if this was a family friend who spends time with them fairly regularly. That would be even worse.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
26 Aug 07
"Does her father know this person?"
yep..and yes it is even more disturbing becuase of that fact and there is in fact more to this story which makes it even MORE disturbing BUT at this point in time I really cant say anything further about that ya know.....But you can lay bets that if this isnt handled PROPERLY (meaning IMO just giving the guy a beat down IS NOT even close to being enough) I will be stepping in as will a few other ppl
1 person likes this
@1grnthmb (2055)
• United States
26 Aug 07
This is so disturbing. And by reading all the threads and seeing that this guy actually lives with them it makes it even more disqusting. It is sad that the father does not know that this is going on. We watch what our kids do on-line. They are never unsupervised. And I have parental controls turned on so I can see everything that they do. It is for their own protection. Something needs to be done with this man and also the father because he is litting this happen.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
30 Aug 07
I see now, after reading the rest. If you're determined to do something and you must this is where things go wrong....people are too scared or ashamed to stand up and become involved and do what they can to put a stop to this crimianal, nasty activity.......the authorities need to be involved. Call whomever you need to call and get this situation dealt with...immediately.
@royal52gens (5488)
• United States
26 Aug 07
This so reminds me of an incident that occurred some time back. I go on my children's Instant Messengers and watch. If their friends come up and start a convo, I respond to them for awhile pretending to be my child. If after a few minutes they have not realized that they are not talking to the person they thought they were talking to, I will tell them "btw, this is mom." We usually get a good giggle and a quick learning lesson from this. The kids have become very aware since we have played this game over the years. Now it only takes them a matter of a few lines and they will ask, "is this mom? again?" They are getting faster and sharper at spotting when something is not right. This is a good exercise for them and my children.
Anyways, There was a day I was monitoring and a gentleman came on. He was not on my daughter's list. Instantly, I was on alert. He started out his convo with "hi sexy" and continued with "I saw your pic" and "you are so sexy". Then he started asking personal questions and asking where her parents were at. While he was talking, I was running his profile in another window. This guy came up as a 35-year old man in Oregon. There was enough info in his profile to start tracking him. I just let him keep talking while I gathered info. At one point, he said the wrong thing and made my blood boil. I won't even repeat what he said here. It was bad.
Immediately, I asked him what high school he went to. His response was awkward. I asked him how he knew ******. He responded that he thought he was talking to *****. I informed him "no, you have been talking to her mother. And I want answers right now." He said he was sorry. I told him, "not good enough, I have already emailed the police in his home town in Oregon and hard copied the convo. I would be mailing the hard copy to the police department. He was out of time and should run as fast as his feet will take him. He should find a rock to hide under."
He did not respond. Then he went offline. I did mail the hard copies out the next day. This man has never ever contacted my child again.
My advice to you in regards to the convo that you have found between your 14-year old and this 34-year old person is: Report it. Report in person or by mail or by email. Hard copy the conversation with all the dates, times, profile info and IP's. Collect every bit of data that will assist the authorities. There is nothing "harmless" about this situation.
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
27 Aug 07
"My advice to you in regards to the convo that you have found between your 14-year old and this 34-year old person is: Report it. Report in person or by mail or by email. Hard copy the conversation with all the dates, times, profile info and IP's. Collect every bit of data that will assist the authorities. There is nothing "harmless" about this situation"
Oh its not my DAUGHTER...(now that I can say) its my NIECE....the man in question is my brothers friend and roommate...and once my best friend (who is my brothers gf) and her daughter (my "niece" who was here for the summer) are safely out of that home ca-ca WILL be hitting the fan in a BIG nasty way.....
1 person likes this
@MaryannaHope (96)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Totally, 100% inappropriate. NO 34 year old man has any business talking or planning to meet a minor child...having her lie about where she is going and such. This man could be a rapist. We already know he is a child predator just from this conversation. If you showed this conversation to the authorities, they would tell you the same thing. My daughter was stalked and raped by a 32 year old when she was 12. This man is probably telling her everything that she wants and needs to hear. He is smart and knows how to draw her in. Save her before its too late.
@ldybgsgma99 (798)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Have the police been notified of this conversation? This guy needs to be behind bars. That was obvious from the first conversation. Someone needs to intervene and quickly before that child is hurt.
1 person likes this
@irishmist (3814)
• United States
27 Aug 07
Totally wrong. A 34 year old should not be talking to a 14 year old like that. If that was my granddaughters I would be really worried. This world is so messed up. People are messed up.
1 person likes this
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Ummmm that is so inappropriate! He needs to grow up and get a girl friend over 18! If it was my daughter her cell would be gone and I'd be finding a way to watch her 24/7. I'm sure my hubby would be having a "talk" with the 34 year old pervert.
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
25 Aug 07
This is very sick. My head exploded again, for the second time today.
This is a bunch of nonsense, it almost sounds like the family might know about this. If so, then they fail at parenting in my opinion. If not then, they need to pay more attention to the kid (and they still fail at parenting). And shame on the 34 year old for doing this crap. I think that guy fails the most. I'm still confused as to why a 14 year old would want anything to do with someone like that, its weird.
Of course some other bits and pieces are missing from your story. I remember one time there was a situation similar to this, but the two were family members. Still this stuff is completely irresponsible. I feel like smacking everyone involved.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 Sep 07
Harmless??Anyone who thinks that is harmless is nuts!
If it's a girl I know...the first thing I would do is tell her parents. The girl's only 14. Even though she's asking the right questions(why do I have to lie to dad...I don't want to)...she's too young to take a firm stand.
Anyone who asks a 14 year old to lie to her parents is doing something wrong. I always tell my son (and will continue doing so) 'No secrets from your parents'.
When I was younger...my mom told me 'Anyone who tells you a secret and says - Don't tell your mom'...tell them.."I don't want to hear any secret that I can't tell my mom.'
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
27 Aug 07
What the?? I’d say this is not happening- and I would call the police- this man is a pervert- 34- talking this way to a 14 y/o… that is just wrong- and why does the father allow him to talk to her anyways – you say she doesn’t talk like this in front of her dad- so her dad must know him?? This is just wrong- dangerous- bad- I’m a parent of a 10 year old daughter- and I would never allow this- Nor would her dad or step-dad!
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
28 Aug 07
I have a 14 year old girl and reading that scares the !$%& out of me for that girl.
I'm wondering if this is real or just an example.
No adult has any business telling a child to lie to her parents.
No adult has any business telling a 14 year old girl any of the things in that exchange.
