Yesterday was the Anniversary of my Moms Death
By Sheribabe
@Sheribabe (445)
United States
August 29, 2007 11:10pm CST
My mom passed away on August 28th, 1994. This had to be the worst day of my life and it still hasn't gotten better yet. I'm still waiting for the, "it will get better part" everyone keeps telling me about. Even at my age, I still miss my mom. I still feel like a little lost girl in this world at times. Especially on this day.
I'm still watching my dad suffer and it adds to my sadness. He is in his own world but somehow I do understand it all enough to leave him alone and let him handle things his own way. Right or wrong, I don't feel it's my place to interfer. He is a grown man and I should respect him as a person.
Yet, I don't know who would understand my feelings about this day. How it feels for me. I don't know. It still hurts the same as it always has...
No mediation can take that hurt and pain away either... That's a joke. Been there, done that...
2 people like this
8 responses
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
30 Aug 07
It won't get better,Sheri, until you take an active effort to get on with your life. I know that might sound harsh, but, believe me, I have been there. You have to ask yourself if your mother would want you grieving your life away. i don't think she would. In the past 11 months I lost my sister and then my mother. Their deaths were devastating to me. For months, I moped around just crying. Once my mind cleared enough for me to become rational again, I had to ask myself some hard questions. I found some of the answers surprising. Much of the crying I was doing for ME.I couldn't bring them back no matter how much I cried, so what was the point? It's good to love your mother's memory and cherish it, but life is for the living. I am sorry for your loss. Maybe it will help your father to cope if you will pull yourself together and be strong for him. I wish you the best.(:
2 people like this
@Sheribabe (445)
• United States
30 Aug 07
Getting on with life, is something that has to be done. Like it or not, you know. There's alot that has gone on that my mom wouldn't have liked in this family. But I do think she has given me the strength to deal with life. I thank her every day for so many things. I can't say I'm doing anything she'd reject to. I've had to pull myself together. After I lost her, I lost my grandfather (her father) then my other grandmother and soon after her mother (my remaining grandmother). Within a span of 5 years. I refuse to blame GOD or any of that nonsense. I simply can't go there in my head.
I had to take up where she left off in this family in alot of ways and it hasn't been easy.
My dad is my world and he is a good man. I have always respected my parents and they are good people. I'm proud of who I am because of them. When my dad lost my mom, he lost the love of his life. Most people never have that. My parents did. I grew up with parents who had a fairytale type of relationship and my dad knows how luck he was and he talks about my mom with a smile on his face now when at first he couldn't so at least he has that. I'm proud of him for coming that far in his grief.
1 person likes this
@Sheribabe (445)
• United States
31 Aug 07
I always try to think that when things happen that remind me of my mom,it's her way of saying HI to me. Like she is sending a smile down from HEAVEN somehow. I know it may seem a little silly, but it helps me make it through the day sometimes.
@jennawinseverytime (377)
• United States
1 Sep 07
I am so sorry about your situation. You are her daughter so I think her soul lives through you. However we will never be completely apart from our passed away loved ones, someday we will be able to enjoy our fantasies of heaven with our loved ones. With less stress that comes along in this world. I hope things work out for you, it might make you feel better to turn to the comfert of a psychologist, it wont cure it but it will help you in the right path of healing.
@ArsonCuff (3114)
• United States
30 Aug 07
I have not lost a parent yet, not too close to my family particularly and not sure how I would or will react if and when the day ever comes.
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
30 Aug 07
Sorry about that, I can relate, I lose my brother one year ago August 17th.
@Sheribabe (445)
• United States
31 Aug 07
I'm sorry to know you lost your brother. My heart goes out to you and your family.
@Sheila53 (7)
• United States
30 Aug 07
{{{{{Sheri}}}}}} I wish I could tell you that it does get better in time, but I would be lying. The anniversary of my dad's passing was August 18th. It's been 8 years! And yet I feel as if it was only yesterday. I still can't look at his picture which is in a frame on top of my entertainment center without crying because I miss him so much. There is really nothing anyone could say or do to fill the hole that is left in our hearts. All we can do is to keep remembering that our mom and dad are watching over us. I hope that you believe that you WILL see your mom again someday.
1 person likes this
@Sheribabe (445)
• United States
31 Aug 07
Sheila, Thanks for the kind words...I try to keep in mind that I will see her again one day. It helps some.
Thanks
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
1 Sep 07
I'm sorry for your loss. In a sense you are very right. The pain of the loss never leaves you. You cope, you deal with it, but the pain never vanishes. We live on we carry the thoughts, memories and dreams of our lost loved once and hopefully you can find solace in that. No one can truly understand what you yourself are actually feeling, but please do not dismiss others that we cannot know what it is like. I can guarantee you, everyone here at some point has lost someone and it is damaging. It weighs down on a heart. But know that you have family, friends and people willing to give you strength in an hour of need.
1 person likes this
@geretzki (28)
• Philippines
31 Aug 07
REINFORCEMENT strengths every foundation whether it be a building, a house and most of all life. Sadness, suffering, wrong, hurt and the like weakens the spirit. Your mom if in her spirit world is seeing you to be that sad she'll be upset, i'm sure she wants you to be strong able to cope with you losing her, she wants you to move on and be the best you can be so focus on what you ought to do like focusing on your studies, making it your best craft. By doing this you reiforce yourself to be strong at the same time you reinforce the spirit of you father when he notices you that you're able to cope with the loss of your dear one. stay strong and make your father stong, there is a bright future ahead of you. good day
