I hurt my self everytime im depressed...
By ola_sy
@ola_sy (3)
Philippines
September 7, 2007 1:37am CST
When i enter college, i choose a school which is different from others, because i dont want to be with my highschool friends again.Why? i dont know either, maybe i just want to be alone and i want to find new friends and start from scratch.then i met my new batch of "so called" friends, were i learn how to drink alcohol, smoke and Go to parties.. Life isnt so boring that time, I feel so happy and free. i spend a lot of money all the time just to be with them, they are rich but im not..my parents are working hard just to earn money so i can buy all my needs in school..but Im a stupid little brat who spoil my allowance with nonsense things. This is were my depression started.. Im a type of person who doesnt want to cry, or lets say i really cant cry..even if i want to. I was very depressed by that time when i saw my crush and my bestfriend (and also my roommate) together. Then i wanted to get drunk with alcohol and i hurt my self using a swiss knife.. i just want to feel the pain on my arm..instead of feeling the pain in my heart. After that i feel relieved. I realized that life is not perfect, you need to feel pain in order to learn, survive and to become more stronger.. Hurting my self is not a bright idea because it became a scar.. an UGLY scar!. I learn my lesson now, God put me into this test in order to be stronger and have faith in him. and i also relaize that my problems are so light and simple unlike those people who are in the streets without food and shelter.. I thank God i am now a mother of a healthy beautiful girl and with a loving husband.. Im in my 4th year college now, A nursing student.. hoping to graduate on march and pass the board exam..
1 person likes this
13 responses
@Philxav (733)
• Malaysia
12 Sep 07
I guess you have some kind of method on how you hide you depressions. Being quite and dont do anything and just stay in a room. well i guess that is good but i would say it will be better is you can just do something alse and make yourself busy e.g doing some house work, playing with the kids, singing, listen to music or anything which can divert your mind to something else. This will help you not to get stressed if you keep quite and keep yourself away from people you might think it over and over again and again.. which can cause you to get stressed.. and that can lead you to get hypertension.. that even worse. So dear jackxav be happy always.. and make yourself happy always. God Bless You
@whisper1488 (82)
• United States
7 Sep 07
dont feel so bad I myself am a recovering cutter. Its not because I want to hurt myself its to get my anger out when Iam mad Ive been dealing with dpression for many years my heart goes out to you.
@whisper1488 (82)
• United States
11 Sep 07
I usally cut to get the anger out. I m pround of myself though becuase the other day I kept saying NO to myself out loud and finally the feeling passed but i cryed and cryed.I hate to be frustrated but I get so mad at myself
@Madhavee (186)
• India
12 Sep 07
Depression is a state of mind and it can be controlled. You first realize what you are. You understand your weak and strong points. Don't compare yourself with others. You know your limitations. The best way to control your mind is doing meditation. You can get rid of any kind of depression.
@tanjam420 (228)
• United States
10 Sep 07
i am glad to here that you have overcome the cutting.... and that you are now married and have beautiful children.... i will say and it has been said to me many many times... that whaqt hurts the most only makes you stronger, by that i mean the incident that happened with your crush... it hurt to see that he was with someone eles and even know you had not gone about it the right way by cutting you over came that hurt... and you are now happy.... i wish you luck with your degree and hope you never cut your self again... there are great people here at mylot who will help you through rough times if you are ever in need of someone to talk to ( even if it is a stranger)or help you through a rough patch just give a shout out here and some one will arise to your need.... good luck in all you do
@katkat (2378)
• Philippines
11 Sep 07
Just keep trusting God and everything will turn out just fine. Like you I also experienced it but I didn't hurt my self, I tried to take my own life. But I'm ok now with the help of God. HE is the only source of my strenght. By the way congrats and goodluck in your studies. Just keep doing what you think is right and put God in the center of your life.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
12 Oct 10
Most time, its my work..with ontime deliveries and work loads. I try to divert mind on music and i feel better. We need to manage depression, as it is part of life in busy world.
But if we concentrate, we can manage it. I does it through my yoga, listening music and going out on vacation.
@thefuture (1749)
• Nigeria
9 Sep 07
Oh friend. I can imagine the kind of pains you went through, but happy too that God helped you to realize the wrong things you were doing. Cutting ourselves with knife or something will never solve our problems in life, it only hurt us the more. Thank God for you life friend. Do have a nice day.
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
7 Sep 07
I am very happy that you have overcome that time in your life. It is difficult to deal with pain and many people use physical pain as an outlet. It has become quite a problem for many young people. So, thanks for sharing your story and how you came out of it.
@kitty1234 (1476)
• United States
7 Sep 07
Many people use cutting as a way to relieve tension, it as you say leads to nothing but ugly scars! I am so glad your life is now where you want it to be and have a beautiful family. College years are difficult, but you made it through! May your live now be filled with sunshine and happiness!
@theVacuous1 (253)
• United States
7 Sep 07
Good luck with your degree!
I was always lucky to have people to talk to when I was upset. I hope you have others who listen to you and are there for you!
@murkywaters (123)
• India
7 Sep 07
well it is really bad to hurt yourself when you are depressed.i have also gone through certain stages when you feel so depressed that you want to vent your anger and frustration on somebody or something.in doing that you will tend to hurt yourself.as you have said hurting yourself causes scars that even time cannot heal.but i hope i know how to get out of depression.
@patels (65)
•
7 Sep 07
iam sameer 18 years old and iam studing in Btech I year and i also want new friends in my collage and i want to live the old and bad friends because they laugh to my feelings and also make me fool and disturb me while iam studing collage notes, they tell bad words to infront of others so i also want new friends in my collage
@Sophia3467 (3)
• China
8 Sep 07
it's too bad when i'm depressed,especially be alone, but i have just been used to it .the life makes me anaesthesia....
