My Daughter's Loss
By worldwise1
@worldwise1 (14885)
United States
September 8, 2007 6:43pm CST
I am just recovering from a horrible night. My daughter was rushed to the emergency room complaining of female-related problems. I knew that she had not been feeling up to par the last couple of days, but she has had long-term issues such as this. When she got home and called me crying, I immediately knew this was something more. She is my baby and 35 years old. She is the only daughter with no children. I told her to call 911 and she did. I can't believe that she had to sit in the waiting room at a hospital for 2 hours with no help! She phoned me to say she was in such pain that she wanted to just walk home and get into bed. When she got home, however, it was not long before she was phoning me crying once again. I had no way to get to her since I couldn't reach my other daughter who drives. She ended up being taken to another hospital where she was forced to wait another 2 hours. All the while she was calling me crying. She was so afraid and had bled through all her clothing. The other daughter finally took my call(she had been at bingo). When I told her what was going on, she hung up and phoned the hospital to try and get my other daughter some assistance. She was unaware that she was pregnant and had had a miscarriage. I felt so powerless to help her. I did not close my eyes throughout the night. We talked on the phone several times. I was finally able to get some rest when she arrived back home at about 8:00 A.M.
11 people like this
36 responses
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Oh no... I'm just speechless over this.
I'm sorry for you and your daughter's loss. I wish her and you the best with recovery both physical and mental. I don't know what else I can say.
4 people like this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Your words are sufficient, progamer, and thank you for the kind thoughts. We will manage to go on.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Oh gosh I'm so sorry to hear that! I will say a prayer on her behalf. Now let me tell you something about emergency rooms. I've had so many female problems that I ended up having to have a hysterectomy. However before all that, many times to the ER and having to wait forever, one time I was there and I got sick (threw up), all of the sudden I had doctors and nurses in my room trying to figure out what was wrong with me. So next time you want attention, throw up and you'll find your room full of help. It worked for me! but mine was a true one but a learned lesson nonetheless.
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
10 Sep 07
I'm not surprised in the least for they're low down unfeeling bunch of creatures that work there. Even when I was so sick and so much pain they took their sweet time getting to me. One time I had a doctor poke and prode inside of me while I was screaming in agony and he wouldn't let up then I finally screamed for him to get away from me and find someone that had more compassion for a person in need of help. One thing led to another and promises were made and weren't kept that I swung at the doctor but missed because of the pain killers they put me on and instead hit the bed railing and broke my thumb. Your story doesn't surprise me in the least but it makes me feel more for the people who have to go to such a place. It's not like "we" go there to party or anything. Quite the contrary.
1 person likes this
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Sorry to hear of your daughter's miscarriage. Such a hard thing to go through. Been there once myself and it nearly drove me crazy, cause I really believed I had done things that could have possibly hurt the baby. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter. I hope she makes it through this ok.
2 people like this
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
9 Sep 07
You're welcome! Glad to hear that she will be ok. I know with the love and support she is getting she will make it passed the hurt. Though it's something that lingers. Know from my own experiences. *hugs to you both*
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
We are all giving her a lot of support, and I think she will be alright, jeweled. Your kind words are deeply appreciated.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
You are right, Aurone, nobody should have to go through that. It is just one example of how the health system has fallen in our country. I was so angry because my daughter was very embarrassed about it. I told her that she had nothing to be ashamed of; instead, shame on a hospital that would allow someone who is clearly bleeding and in agony to have to be treated like cattle.
1 person likes this
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
9 Sep 07
oh my gosh! That is so so terrible! HOw sad :( I am so sorry for your daughters loss, it is the worst thing a girl could ever loss. It is terrible she had to wait so long before she got help, especially since she was crying and bleeding! :(
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Thank you for your kindness, Lily. I am afraid that the world we live in is becoming less mindful of our needs.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Thank you very much, linoxy, for being so understanding. Right now she is getting lots of family support and also friends. She is hurting, but she will get better.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Thankfully she did not have to go through it all alone, MsTickle. I phoned a friend who immediately went to her once I saw that the situation was worst than we had thought. Thanks for your concern.
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
9 Sep 07
So sorry about what happened to your daughter. I simply can't imagine why the people at the hospital did not do anything to help her immediately considering the way she was bleeding. I't really disappointing how rude and inconsiderate people can be at times. Yes, doctors and nurses do have a lot of things to do but that's not an excuse to let someone wait for 2 hours at the emergency room.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Thank you for your concern and kindness, alinda. I was appalled at the treatment my daughter received. Rest assured that this matter will not go unmentioned.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Hugs Worldwise! I am so sorry to hear about your daughter's loss and the terrible service she received at both hospitals. I can't believe she was made to wait two hours each time :( I'll be thinking of you and your daughters!
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Thanks for the kind response, maddysmommy. They have recently made many changes in the health care system in my area-not all of them for the better.
@serenidity (641)
• India
9 Sep 07
Can't believe there are hospitals like this...It must have been so terrible, going through something like this all alone. I hope she recovers soon and is able to get over the pain of, if not forget the ordeal.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
I am still troubled by these events, serenidity, but I am thankful that things were not worse. It was very traumatic for my daughter, but she has the kind of spirit that will help her to bounce back from this horror. I thank you for your well wishes.
@clocks123 (1225)
• United States
9 Sep 07
hello first i want to say i'm very sorry for the miscarriage your daughter had. it is terrible that she had to wait all that while when she had terrible pain you did all you could as well as your other daughter too please don't feel guilty again i am very sorry about the loss and the pain your poor daughter had to endure
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Your words of consolation are very much appreciated, clocks. I am still very angry because I was unaware that we were living in some third world country. At least that is what it seems like anymore.
@wotfpatty (2065)
• United States
9 Sep 07
I am so sorry for what your poor daughter went through and for your whole family. What the heck with hospitals letting people in such pain sit there like that? I hate that!
But more, this is such an emotional pain that I am sure the actual physical pain, which was horrible, isn't what really hurts now.
I wish there was something I could say to make things better but you are in my thoughts and prayers as is your daughter and I pray she will recover quickly and end up with a beautiful baby when she is well again.
Hang in there. Life can be so tough!
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
You are so right, wotfpatty, life can be tough, but I do intend to raise this issue in our local newspaper. People have the right to know how poor service has gotten in the area hospital emergency rooms. Thanks so much for your concern.
@Laurla98 (786)
• United States
9 Sep 07
How horrible that they made her wait that long. With abdominal pain & bleeding she should have been seen immediately!! I'm so sorry for her loss!! I've been in her shoes...twice and I know how hard it is. I will keep her in my thoughts & prayers!
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Thank you so much, Laurla. I fail to see why she wasn't treated sooner and am going to try to find some answers soon.
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
9 Sep 07
OMG WORLDWISE!! I'm SO SORRY!! Miscarriages are SO rough on all levels and to have one not being aware you are preg would just make it all the more worse for me....My heart goes out to your daughter in the biggest way..I've had 3 miscarriages and they are painful in every way (physically/mentally and emotionally)....I'm so so sorry for her loss....
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Your kind words are much appreciated, Raven. Yes, it has been a very unsettling experience for all of us, but we are a strong family and will be there for her.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Be sure that your daughter knows that there are alot of prayers going out for her and I am sure that she is devastated. It is a sad thing to miscarry and it is hard to accept the fact that you did. However, with God's help she will be fine. HE knows best!!
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Yes, carolscash, I have had a long talk with her explaining why miscarriages happen and that it is for the best. I know that she will understand this in time. Thank you for your kindness.
@pismeof (855)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Sorry to hear of your daughters loss and the horrendous evening you must have had.I am sure that it must be awful to feel powerless not being able to get to your daughters aid at the Hospital.
I think it is terrible the way in which hospitals treat the patients in an EMERGENCY room.I don't understand how they could stand by and let a pregnant woman bleed like that.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Thank you for your understanding, pismeof. I think that the milk of human kindness is terribly lacking in our society today. I am sure there are many horror stories similar to this out there.
@psyche49f (2502)
• Philippines
9 Sep 07
I'm sorry about that...really, there are hospitals now that need some strong warnings from the government as they are not doing their job at saving lives. Your daughter's first pregnancy could have been saved if only the hospitals did their job. You know, you can write open letters to these hospitals and share to the public how your daughter went through the ordeal she experienced. It's good that she is fine now. I guess she must be grieving for the loss of her baby, and for the unwanted threat to her life...Your daughter must be so strong to have survived such an ordeal....
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
I intend to follow up on this matter, psyche, and I would like to thank you for your kind support.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
9 Sep 07
I'm so sorry you and your daughter had to go thru all this. For all the extra money that emergency rooms request, I have to say that I have heard stories like yours all too often. I doubt they could have saved the baby once the miscarriage began but it is thankful that your daughter did not hemmorage in the process of waiting to be looked at. As a mom, I can only imagine what you felt like. While you could not help her physically, I am sure that you being there emotionally even if over the phone did help her more than you realize. I think I'd be writing some letters to the editor and also the staff at the hospital regarding their emergencey room. your daughters situation was life threatening and should have been treated as such.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
I have been thinking the same thing, sid. I truly believe that it might have turned out worse had my other daughter not called and demanded that they see to her immediately. My head was spinning so that I could not even think properly in the situation. I think the people of my city deserve to know about this incident and what they might have in store the next time they are taken to an emergency room. I have heard of people actually being turned away at some of them. I don't know what the world is coming to. Thank you for your condolences.
@pauline_spl (37)
• Malaysia
9 Sep 07
what a catastrophic incident..May God lavishly showers blessings upon your daughter and whole of your family members. Hope that she will walked out from the past and keep on with her life...Bless you..pray for her..
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
9 Sep 07
Thank you so much, pauline. Your kindness is appreciated. My daughter is strong and she will overcome this incident.
