Young girl at work being abused~~~~

Sometimes people stay in abusive relationships because they fear leaving. Fear of the abuser finding out and harming them, fear they cannot make it on their own, fear of the unknown. Abusers usually do have a way of making the victim feel worthless and belittling them into thinking they can not survive without them. If this girl had low self esteem to begin with, the abuser can be feeding off of that as well. There are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, and we mustn't be quick to judge. (I am not saying you are, I am saying in general.. but of course you know that, cuz you know me :) ) What you have done, by letting her talk to you, by offering your advice, your support and guidance, is a huge first step. Just let her know you are there for her. She must make the choice to leave on her own though. You cannot make it for her, although I know there is a strong urge to do just that. At work I see abused women every day, go right back to the abusers. I just want to shake them and ask what they are thinking. But then I remember that it used to be me. I had a boyfriend that abused me both emotionally and physically. I had and still have very low self esteem. He fed on that and made me feel worthless. But you know why I stayed?? Because he stalked my mother, my sister, my nephews. He knew where they went to pre-school. He said he would kill my family members if I ever left. I believed him. So I stayed and put up with abuse to protect my family. When my sister finally got me to talk about what was going on, and I told her, she flipped. We went to the police and I made a report, etc. I then left him. I told him that I could basically run him over and get away with it because of the report I had filed. He did stalk me at work up until I started dating my husband. My husband "talked" to him once and I never saw him again. But just so you know how sick he was/is, he had one of his cousins send me a picture of him via Myspace just about two weeks ago. This is 13 years later, and he is still trying his best to get to me. I live in another state now, and I know he has no way of getting to me, but it still freaks me out that he sent a picture. It's almost like his way of saying "I found you" I never told my hubby about the picture, I really don't want to stir up trouble. But it still sits in the back of my mind. My hubby knows he abused me, but I never told him to what extent. Sorry so long, but I just wanted you to have an idea of what goes on in a victims head. Just let her know you are there if she needs to talk or if she decides she wants out.

That is so sad for that to happen to someone. Yea too bad its not that easy for them to just pick up and get out of there. Hopefully she realizes whats being done to her and leaves before anything really bad happens to her or her baby. Try to stay in touch with her. Too bad your leaving that job then you can be friend her and maybe one day she could come to you to help her. I grew up seeing my mom get beaten many times and her mother use to beat her alot. It was hard for her to leave my father and I'm glad she did but then she only went to someone who is verbally abusive to her and its hard for her to see it and stay away from it. Good luck let us know what happens.

I WAS THE VICTIM OF A PERSON THAT REALLY MADE MY LIFE MISERABLE ONCE. I never thought that things could get any worse with all that bitting I had from him. But the things can get worse. he tried to kill me. then i realised that my life and my son;s happiness counted more than his so called "love". you can't do anything but trying to find similar stories and stories that ended with murder or mutilation in order to make her understand.

Don't push. Just be there if she needs you. People stay sometimes because they feel they don't deserve better. Or sometimes they stay because they feel they have no where else to go. If possible help her find a place to stay if needed. Help her find a shelter for battered women or just offer your friendship.

Its a really sad situation to be in but like they say there is always a silver lining in every dark situation. so in this you are the one. you are a really sweet person to go out of your way to find a person in trouble. As long as you there to offer your support i think all is not lost for the girl and one day she will find the strength to get out of the relationship that is so abusive of her. Strength and prayers to her and you :)

Coming from a home life where there was abuse when I was young- then following those same steps and entering into an abusive relationship myself later in life- I have learned one important lesson- there are three sides to every story- Her side, his side, and the truth. I can now be honest with myself and say that on some occasions I became the abuser and not just the abused. My only advice to you is when trying to help her- don't pry, don't judge, don't give opinions that may be taken the wrong way. A person in this type of relationship needs someone to talk to that is going to listen- not give them orders on how they should handle it. As you have prayed for her so will I. I was lucky and strong enough to leave my bad relationship- and get therapy for the abuse I encountered as a kid and am doing much better now that I am understanding myself better. I wish her well and will keep her in my prayers.

The poor girl thinks what she is going through is normal. You have at least talked to her and got her thinking. She may not be able to do anything herself, certainly she could not leave her home, what home it was, because then the only life for her would be on the streets. You have to consider that perhaps the one who abused her, her boyfriend, might have taken your home and cellphone number away from her and torn them to pieces. It is not that she rejected your help, it is that someone in power has taken your help away from her. If you see her again, and it looks like she has been abused, call the police or a social worker. Then they can find where she lives and intervene on her behalf.

I hope this girl will call you and would ask for help, I guess there is no other way you can hep her unless she want it herself too..She has to want to be helped..and she has to realized she need it badly. I do not know why people stay in abusive realtionship too. I am one blessed girl that I grew up in a loving family,though mom and dad had thier shares of arguments and fights, I still believe I grew up in a normal home.

Hopefully this girl will let you help her. It saddens me that so many people are victims of abuse. I wish they all were able to get away from it. And shes probably afraid for her child. Hopefully this girl will get the strength to take help from you. She deserves so much better then this. Your a great person for trying to help her.

You hsve such s big heart!! This girl definitely has a good thing going for her. That is YOU. You seem to be such a caring person and that is good. Now that you have made yourself available to her, hopefully she will eventually turn to you for help. There have been some very good suggestions made already and I hope that you will try as many ways to reach as possible without making her feel harrassed. Hopefully she will see the good intentions you are putting out and reach out to you. Good luck and God Bless!!