What Inluence do we have on our children?
By estherlou
@estherlou (5015)
United States
September 11, 2007 1:26am CST
Miamilady started a discussion that I tried to answer, but it was gone. It talked about the influence we have on our children as they watch us without our being aware of it. Her discussion was on the positive side, but it got me to thinking about the flip side. What do we teach our kids when we cuss at another driver in traffic? or worse...flip someone off? What do we teach our kids when we take a cheaper price tag off a garment and put on another one we want to buy? what do we teach our kids when we say, "Tell them I'm not home". what do we teach our kids about obeying the law when we never stop at stop signs but coast on through, or when we constantly drive over the speed limit? all of these things may seem minor, but they help to shape the value system of our kids without our even realizing it. We need to be more responsible and aware of what we teach our kids.
2 people like this
10 responses
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
13 Sep 07
Oh yes I say we do. If we open the door to respect and honesty right from the get go I think we'd have a great influence on our kids. But to hit them and tell them how bad they were just isn't going to work. But if we all sat a child down and talked to them as a human being then I think they'd be more receptical to our words of wisdom.
1 person likes this
@mizrae (587)
• United States
11 Sep 07
I never thought about this until my son was about 1 1/2. He was playing with his matchbox cars on the floor, while I was sitting on the couch reading. All of a sudden I heard him shout "sum of a b****, mom" I looked at him and he was recreating an incident that had happened when I was driving and a car pulled in front of me. Guess what my reaction was? From then on, I watched closely what I said and did in front of him.
1 person likes this
@ChaJudLeoBit (1656)
• United States
13 Sep 07
Hmmm... Is it sad that I know who you are refering to with each example you gave...
I agree.
Sorry, can't think of anything else to say... Want some of my pizza?
@ChaJudLeoBit (1656)
• United States
13 Sep 07
Ok, I just thought of something. A lot of these things I saw while growing up, surprisingly, allowed me to see how I DON'T want to be. I do have the road rage, but I would NEVER flip someone off. The price tag swapper is also a LITTER BUG!!! When this person throws something out the window in a parking lot, I get out and pick it up and out it back in the car. I grew up seeing things like this, but I have very strong morals against it. So how did that happen??
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
11 Sep 07
In my opinion, we do exert great influence on the children with us, be it ours or not ours. Children are great observers. They learn from adults, they mimic adults and they pretend to be one if possible. Whatever we tell them, they listen. Whatever we do, they see. What we do not do consistently, some ask, some do not, some just assume and decide for themselves.
1 person likes this
@pismeof (855)
• United States
11 Sep 07
Well said Esther,with each passing generation we stretch the behavior that isn't acceptable a little more and a little more.I don't remember THE BEAVER"S dad flippin' people off!hehehe
Yes you are correct we should watch the type of example we set for our children.
@vidyasma (91)
• India
13 Sep 07
It is very much true , parents are the role model hero heroiens for the childrens. some times my daughter gives me excuse like how i do it with my husband and when questioned why she is doing that she tell me that she is answering like me. so it is very very important that we do things correctly infront of our kids.Even our behaviour has a lot of impact on them
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
11 Sep 07
Yeah, I've seen that. My roomie's neice & nephews were influenced by a mother who slept around & was always looking for the biggest sugar daddy & a father who is a pathological liar. He dropped out of high school & tells people that he's got a masters degree, was a navy seal & owns a big ranch - this jerk is 43 & sleeping at his parents.
Gee, I wonder why he's already a grandfather & 2 of his kids have dropped out of school?
@wonderful1 (2075)
• China
11 Sep 07
as parents,there are two important influence on their children.
1, respecting others. in China, it is a good tradition to respect older people. if a child doesn't respect old people, then he/she will be blamed by all people.
2, generous to others. one day, when i went to a friend's house, then her daugher was eatting a banana. then i asked her give it to me, then could you guess how she respond? 'give you? why? what i will eat?' frankly, i just said to her for fun, but ... ..., her parents thought it was right too. if they need your help,then her daughterwill give you some fruits actively. she is only 5 years old.
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
11 Sep 07
Hi estherlou! I agree with you completely that as parents or elders, we should be more responsible and aware of our actions because the children or the young are always watching us and will affect their behavior one way or the other. Parents are the first role models and if we want our children to grow up to be responsible adults, we should show them how by the way we behave and lead our lives. Take care and have a nice day.
@conrada1923 (79)
• Philippines
11 Sep 07
I have three kids and I think I don't have any problem at all, heavy problems , that is. And this I ascribe to all the examples that me and my wife had shown to them eversince they were kids.
It's not always easy but we really have to set good examples to them always and consistently . Now they are grownups and all things seem to fall in its proper places. I'm not being boastful. I 'm just being grateful . I don't have to persuade them to do things that they ought to do. They do it on their own.
