Why do so many intelligent women allow themselves to be trapped in the role of..

simply because they think they are superwoman! Many women are jugglers, and most are intelligent enough to juggle with many activities at one time. That's the role of women. That's how women can maintain superiority to men. lol.

Now, at the risk of losing a friend and offending many. I will use a famous phase that, but I have no idea where it came from. "You can't have your cake and eat it too." The woman's original role was to stay home and attend to things regarding the house and the children. Just because you decide to go to work, doesn't mean that anyone else in the house wants to add to their duties. I am not saying that you are wrong to go back to work, just don't expect anybody else to change from what they are use to.

I totally agree!! My husband and I definitely share our chores!! I am a teacher (which is MORE than a full time job!) and he is a full time student, plus he works part time on the weekends. We are both very busy people, so we share our chores. I cook everynight, but he helps me clean. I fold my clothes, he folds his. If he doesn't fold them, they just don't get folded. That's our agreement. We don't like the way each other folds, so we don't fold each others' clothes. When sometimes needs cleaning, one of us will clean it. He is home more during the day because he has a lot of night classes so he tidies up while I'm at work. I love coming home and seeing such a clean house!! But when he's working on the weekend and I am at home, I do some housework and laundry. It's all equal for us. Neither of us says "you need to clean up" It gets done when it gets done, and whoever gets to it first does it. We don't resent each other if one of us cleans most of the time for a while, because we know, within a week or so, the other person will give the house a good scrub down and make it look great! :) I'll have to brag, because we have an amazing equality in our marriage.

I think most women agree with you, but we all know if we don't do it it will not get done! The house will be filled with garbage and laundry, you would be eating fast food everyday! Nobody wants to be a supermom but if you set the rules right from the start it works but if they even had one week with you doing it all it now is your job! I watch my sister with three kids and her husband, a full time job and school activites trying to hold it all together. I have mentioned the idea to her of her husband helping and she looked shocked!

I like how there is no credit given to dads that actually step up and take on a large or almost all responsibilities in the household, the marriage and the family in this discussion, great stuff. -_- Pretty much no credit given to existing awesome dads and superdads or even potentials, again great stuff. -_- I have a job yes but I can also make dinner, clean up, do laundry and in some cases I can still do things like work on my writing or post on mylot. But of course, I don't exist. Supposedly I'm jabberwocky, cipher, mirage, whatever you want to call me to keep this discussion going. Just ignore the raving ogre and move on. I agree that some moms get suckered into this, but others simply passively accept it (I barely get why). Many reasons for it (competition, self fulfillment, their mom did it, societal pressure, others) but its okay for a wife to ask some things from their husbands and for a mom to ask somethings from her kids. Its nearly impossible to do it all for a family, so the family should be able to do somethings autonomously. Or yet again I could have it completely wrong. Its happened before. Maybe I'm too dark on this subject too.

Hehe, Supermom, orsay superwoman? I do think the couples should share the housework if both are working. And I am sharing it now with my GF, we would take turns to do cooking, laundry... WBR,Andy

I don’t know about western systems, but for Asian moms, we are to blame ourselves for this predicament. We seldom make our boys work at home yet we expect some help from our daughters for household work. We have a preset mentality that since girls will grow up to be home-makers, they better start the training at home under their moms, but since boys would not have to do any of it (their wives will do it for them), so they can very well leave the dinner table dirty and go and watch TV. they will have their mothers and sisters to clean up after them!

You are right they should both handle chores equally. They do not stand up to their husband and discuss these things prior to marriage. Some females also thinks its their duty to do these things because taking care of the home is traditionally a females role. I am sorry If I have to work 8 hours you better turn that Tv off and wash some dishes. I am no superwoman.

I have thought about this topic alot. I am 40 years old and I never married and never had kids. I turned and ran whenever a guy got serious. I suspect it is partly because of the way I saw how marriage was for my mom. She worked full time, took care of the house and us. He just sat around being critical of everything and being bossy. They fought all the time, yelling and screaming..day and night. I saw the way she lived and didn't like it. And often, I wondered how she fell into that role. I think she took on the responsibility my father would not take. She was neat freak, he was not. She cared, he didn't. She loved us, he didn't. You take on more because you care more. I don't think it should be that way. Moms get stressed and take it out on the kids.

i think it's just a roll she falls into. she doesn't WANT to be supermom but she's the most motivated to get things done around the house. many women, myself included, find it hard to ask for assistance or when they do and are met with sighs of contempt then they would rather do it themselves than listen to complaints. they then find themselves resenting their family and their own role within it. women truely can be horrible communicators when it comes to domestic duty.

I agree with you totally! I used to be that way many years ago but never again! Nowadays I can't even get to work let alone do housework so my other half has to do it all and he rarely complains even though I boss him around and make him do it the 'right ' way ( ok yest that translates as MY way). Before my mobility problems we still shared the work although I always did the laundry cos he has a bad habit of putting coloured or black things in with the whitesHe has always done more of the cooking than I have which always made up for the laundry situation! I suppose some women feel they have to do everything - I however am not one of them! xxx

I was one of those supermoms when I worked outside the house and didn't mind at all. I actually liked doing things myself because I hated the way it would get done otherwise. When the kids were old enough they had chores and the schedule was posted in the kitchen - so no arguments on who's day it is to do whatever. I didn't need to do it all myself either but I did want it done and sometimes it was just easier not to beg or argue about it.

Thats funny, I'm not a working mom. I stay at home, but I always tell my husband when he complains about something I'm not doing. "you should have realize a long time ago that I'm not Betty Crocker!"

My mom is my role model, because she is so smart, she is a single mom, she's hard working, she's just amazing, but she had to take care of us and raise us and all of that after she came home from work. She had to struggle so much with her time because my dad was an idiot and he was so selfish. For the past 8 years, I've been trying to help take care of her, yes she still works, but I cook, clean, and do all of that for her.

I wonder this all of the time. Women are so much more than just mothers.

I think that alot of them think that is the way it is supposed to be. When I was working, it was a family job to clean house. Everyday we took 20 minutes to walk through the house and pick up and one person ran the sweeper. They all help with getting supper on the table. They were only 7 and 8 but they done there part and my husband did the same unless there was something outside that he needed to do. I did take care of the laundry.

Well I will just say in this Situation One Will know the value of a person when u will be far off from them Its my personal experience

I think it happens because there isn't any discussion about the chores. So no one does any chores and the wife/mother does them because they need to be done.And if mom started out as a stay at home mom and then goes outside to work, no one is used to doing the chores so mom if left doing them. What each household needs is a family meeting where mom tells the rest of the family where she needs help with chores and where she does not. That way everyone will know that since mom is out working, Suzy has to do this and Bill has to do that. Without a meeting, she will be left doing it all herself.

Yeah..Just let the house go to H*ll,The family will figure it out after a while.

It is just the basic psychology of women to take care of everyone including the home, but more and more families are now sharing the work equally between the two partners