My fiance' gives me an allowence.

I think it's awful that you are expected to put up with a $20 a week allowance as if you're a kid! You are staying at home to manage the home because HE doesn't want you to work. If you were out working you would be earning far more money and have it to spend as you wish. If I was in your position I would tell him if he can only afford to give me $20 a week then obviously I need to be out working to earn some sensible money. I don't understand this mentality. It's 2007 not 1965, women should not be expected to stay at home to do housework unless it is their choice - from what you say it's your fiance's choice that you stay at home. He should give you more money if he wants you to stay home - after all, he's getting a free housekeeper - if he had to pay one, it would cost way more than $20 a week!

My husband and I both work, but I do the bills. I give him a personal spending allowance of $100 a week. In order for us to stay within budget, he has to stick with that. We don't call it an "allowance", though. I also have a weekly spending limit for extracurricular things. If more than $20 a week can be afforded, then he should be reasonable and allow you the same "free" spending he allows himself in my opinion. :-) PS I think you are lucky that you get to stay home and take care of the house! I would love to do that instead of having to work. :-)

20 BUCKS A WEEK!!?? You have got to be kidding. The last time I had an allowance was from my Daddy, and I was about 10. Grown ups shouldn't get allowances. If you want more money, get off your butt, and go and get a job. If you don't like how it is now, I don't suggest you marry this doofus. Allowance....I hope you're joking.

I don't get an allowence but when I need something I tell my hubby and he gets it. I don't like saying "Honey I need this, next time you go out you know" So I started making some extra cash, for bills atleast that's how it began. I got my first payment into my paypal account and when he needed something he asked me (which it felt good) I told him whateever was my money was his and hopefully whatever money you have was mine. After that conversation our relationship changed because he counted on my money being in a account he couldn't touch unless he asked. If you would like to know how I'm earing extra cash go to my mylot profile or www.mylot.com/wasgilykitten I hope this helps

I think I would tell him to stick it in his ear. $20.00, not a big spender is he? I would like to say to you he is definitely trying to control you if you are comfortable with that do it his way. Is he or has he been physically abusive? If so dump him.

If you were employed prior to this arrangement, I can understand where you feel as if you are treated like a child. However, there is additional information not provided in your statement that would really make a difference as to how I would answer this. Firstly, you are not married yet. Are you comfortable with the direction things are going in? I believe its not the dollar amount, but the arrangement that is more upsetting to you. It is true that $20 does not go very far, especially if there is a true emergency situation and he is not home. However, let's break things down for a moment. Do you have complete access to the checkbook to pay the bills and purchase groceries, and the twenty dollars is not all the money you see in a week, but all that is budgeted for you to have as "mad money?" If this is the case, he trusts you like a partner. he just needs a little help understanding what your needs are. he may have the opinion that the man should be the provider. He may not realize what things cost. Also, I don't know his income level - could it be that you are guys are living pay check to pay check and that's really all there is to spare, and he is giving it to you to have money in your pocket? If you do have access to pay bills and money is tight, why not suggest that costs can be cut to free up some more money? (i am talking of cooking ahead, using coupons, etc). In otherwords, be an equal partner to him. While he is out making money, you manage it so there is more to go around. This way you both look at it as both your money and not just him doling out an allowance. You are earning by being a good manager. If this is the case, I think things might be ok. Its hard to let go of the idea of "his money, my money" and transform it into "ours." It takes time. Now...the dollar mount. Twenty dollars won't cover anything should an emergency occur. I would sit down with him and suggest that there be X amount of dollars in the house at all times. For example, there was $200 in the house that you didn't touch except for really important things. The emergency cab fair, the repair person that he had scheduled at the house and you needed to tip them, etc. If he doesn't seem to be in partnership with you - and you are really home with no access to a cent, no checking access, etc, and you have no inkling where the money is coming and going, I would review your situation. There are senior women who lived their whole life like this - the man just took care of everything and everything was fine, but now things have changed. Being a fiance and not a wife, this would put a red flag up in my mind that it needs review. If he doesn't respond to change, get a job and move out. A marriage requires trust, not living seperate loves and tossing the other a buck.

i think it is not fair for you... $20 a week is too little to spend for a week nowadays... if you are working, you will definitely earn more... if i were in your position, i wouldn't want my hubby to stop me from working... i can earn more money and i just can't stand staying inside the house the whole day...

No offense meant but if i have a fiance like that... i would think twice before marrying him... i he really loves you... then he should give you the right to choose if you want to work or not... we are now living in a world where men can no longer control women in terms of their choices... It all boils down to you... what would you rather have... what are your main priorities now... do you think you could live a life like that forever?

i think it's ok that your fiance' gives you allowance. I do experience the same too, and for me it's ok as long you don't abuse it, as long as you use the money for the right thing, and as long as you still love him. I think he's just letting you learn the budgeting.

Well from what I've read I'm assuming that the $20 is extra money he's given you for random stuff that you might want throughout the week. If that is the case I don't really see what the problem is. If he's the only one working and things are getting paid off and he bugets the extra money to you as "play money" or "mad money" then I think you should be happy with it. Outside of buying clothes just because you like them or some nick nacks here and there what do you really intend on spending the money on? If you're wise you'd save the money and use it only when needed. When I was working I have lived off of $40 a month spending money for extra crap that I might want. Thats after paying all my bills and such. I don't get an "allowence" as you put it but I do understand it. I don't work, I stay home and take care of the house and go to school. If I need something I do have direct access to the bank because I have a ATM card just like he does. However, I won't spend any money unless I need to. I do the budget so I know what we have to spend and what we need to use to pay bills. Be patient and if really needed find a quick part time job to make extra spending cash.

I'm on a budget for everything and my spending money is included in that..... If you told him you needed money for something else would he give it to you? $20/wk is nothing. I know I hate having to ask for more money too.

So what do you do with the money. Is that for personal use or house expences. Cant you tell him to give you more since he wants you to stay home. What reason does he have for all that? My husband does not give me an allowence and does not ask where my money is going. We have a joined account and we both take out what we need no question asked. I dont work i look after our son. He works and I get money from centerlink.

I think the work you do around the house all day is probably worth more than $20 a week. It would be hard for me not to have my own money. Maybe if he gave you a bit more, or if you had a joint credit card or something. It just seems that $20 is devaluing you. Babysitters get paid more than that in a night. I hope you find a solution to your situation.

I just moved from Indonesia to Finland 6 months ago, so now I'm currently unemployed. I have to learn Finnish first before I can find a job here. So my hubby's the one source of income for both of us. We talk about how much money I'd need for monthly expenses (mostly for buying groceries). First I calculated roughly how much we spent per month to buy groceries (I did this for 3 months straight), then I told him how much I'd need and he transferred it to me at the beginning of each month. However, sometimes he gives me money for other purposes (cash), as well. I think it's all about compromising. The two of you should decide how much you need per month to pay for groceries or for other stuff. For example, since my monthly budget doesn't include birth control pills, I'm gonna ask him more money for that very purpose. If your fiance wants you to be a stay-at-home wife/mother, can't you do something from your home? I see that you're in the USA and there are plenty of jobs online these days that you may be able to do. If it's THAT important for you to be able to have a part-time job outside your home, talk to your fiance now before you get married. After all, if you're not happy, then how can you make your fiance happy, right?

Hi there, what's been up to lately buddy? Well, sticking around here in Mylot doesn't gives us a lot of money monthly but still we can get some bucks, and it's better than nothing. Your fiance is good and i think it's just ok to give you some allowance. Well if you guys are married then you'll have more than what he gives you weekly. Because you are his wife that time and you'll be the one who's going to budget everything. But if you really like to have more money, then i think you should find an extra job. Well try to ask 1st your fiance if he'll allow you to have an extra job. =) Have a nice day ahead and happy posting and earning here in myLot. Godspeed, Kiko

That's horrible,I would go get a job while he was at work and if he didn't like it Oh well.Women have come along way since they got the right to vote.But that's your decision to make.

I personally feel that it is best to stand on your own two feet and earn your living. By doing so, you are independent and can do what you like, also be financially independent. By not letting you work, he is keeping you under his thumb. By giving you a little pocket money he has the upper hand. Be assertive and start working. You will know his true nature whether he understands your wants or is just being selfish.

Are you really that stupid??? Tell your Master! you want equality or out the door!! Bondage went out with the rights for WOMAN TO VOTE!! Dont let this Bully!! and I say that lightly!! to get away with his insulting attitude to you, what he is doing is not only an affront to womanhood, your intelligence but is demeening to all woman!!!