Family Putting Down Overweight Family Members - Right or Wrong?

I think alot of ppl put ppl down b/c of their weight. I think it's a very rude, hateful and hurtful thing to do. I think all ppl should make an effort to take care of themselves, keep themselves clean and presentable and be the size and weight they want to be...but it shouldn't be up to other ppl to pick at you b/c you aren't the size they want you to be. You should love or like someone for who they are, not for what they look like. I don't think ppl should be going around picking at ppl or commenting on their weight unless they are asked. If someone is going to disown you b/c of your weight they aren't much of a person anyways. Be happy with yourself first and other ppl will follow. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~ PS-I know who your talking about and you just have to ignore him. BTW, you can have a hug from me anytime. Love You.

No one is entitled to put anyone down for any reason. I spent years being put down by my family because of my weight and my looks, and it has left me with zero self esteem. Positive encouragement rather than harsh words is the way forward.

Hi there, of course it isn't right at all. They need encouragement rather than making them feel down. I mean, it isn't nice to bring it up everytime you see them, I am a bit overweight for my height and I don't like the comments i receive sometimes. I don't mind talking about it if I were the one who brought it up, asking for others' opinion or help but I dont like it at all if someone mentions it everytime he sees me. Damn I hate that. But you see? the best thing to do is pretend it doesn't bother u, don't let them feel u got annoyed. Thanx 4 the nice post. btw u male or fem? just a question.

ok, here's my deal. No one has a right to tall me anything about myself. Not family, not friends, especially not strangers. If I smoke, my problem. If I am fat, my problem. I think it's ok for someone that CARES about you to maybe let you know that they are concerned for your health, but a stranger.. HELL NO. I get so ticked when people that don't know me say, "do you know smoking is bad for you?" DUH, I wasn't born yesterday !! Or people think because I am overweight I must eat too much or eat bad stuff. Which I do not, but they don't know me well enough to know that. I think anyone putting anyone else down is ignorant. Until you walk a mile in my shoes... BUTT OUT !!! :)

i think it depends on the motive for doin so and how bad the problem is. If you are only carrying a few extra pounds, and are otherwise healthy and the people commenting on it are just doing it to be spitful and make you feel bad this is way out of order. However if they are saying it through genuine concern, for example if the weight is causing other serious problems then although you dont wanna hear it they are probably just doing it for the persons own good. I guess in this situation it may be being cruel to be kind. However also an overweight person may also have low self esteem and constant pressure and reminders may make matters worse and lead to comfort eating. I think it is down to the person, personally i would never comment on someones weight if they are happy and comfortable then good for them.

good discussion, it went on for many years in my family, my one brother use to call me whale all the time because i was overweight it went on for years and years, till one day in his house to came over to eat dinner thats when i was felt up to my ears with the whale crap and knoock him back on his butt on his sofa before we ate, i know it upset my mother that i did that but finally got it off my chest and to say the least he hasnt said that to me since, not saying everyone should do that but it needed to be done, by the way he as weight issues to its not limited to just me, he does, my dad in his day god rest his soul was overweight, so no its not right to put them down, help them try to lift up their self esteem not destroy it.

I feel that family should never put down overweight, obesese, anorexic, stupid, or any other subjective trait in another family member. Taht is just not right. Your family should be a source of unconditional love and acceptance not filled with your greatest detractors! If they cannot love you for who you are, no matter how much of you there may be to love then they should be ignored as best you can. Here is a comeback to their comments if you would like to give them a zinger back. I may be big but you have a bigger issue here. You're obviously stupid. I can lose weight, but you can't wise up!

Awe, that's a cute pic! No, no, and no! Never should anyone put anyone down for their weight. It doesn't help the matter in many instances. Encouragement always works better than negativity. When my best friend voices her concerns and disappointments in herself, I'm there for her. If she talks about needing to exercise I offer to go walking with her, but I would never say something hurtful to her. It sounds like you could use a (((HUG)))

No one should be put down for their appearance. There are many things that are beyond are control, and far too often our weight is one of those things. I find it interesting that during these days where it is demanded of us that we be tolerant for so many things, that so many are still so intolerant of how people look. I guess they just pick and choose what they are going to tolerate and accept, and then they can somehow justify their intolerance in other areas. It is especially bad when things like this comes from your family.

Rather then put the family member down, they should try to help but in a nice way. Have only healthy foods available. Make light desserts. Instead of sitting down and watching TV and snacking suggest going for a walk or other activity. Make it easier for the people to eat healthier and be more active

You're right, instead of subjecting the person as the "butt" of jokes whenever there's a family gathering the family should be supportive of the family member who is trying to loose weight. I think it is a form of maltreatment and discrimination.

there is a fine line between being mean and just playing around. I am over weight and when me and my friends are hanging out usually there is a comment about my weight. thats i can deal with. but when somebody does it just to be mean thats when i strike back. THAT IS NOT OK.

Yes, they got the right, and its just a thing you gotta take. They arent saying it for fun, you WILL die sooner, and you WILL get less girls, and its just not good to look at, its also will carry on to your kids, its a genetic defect you never wanna pass on to your own children, im not trying to be mean or anything.

I think its wrong for family members to judge, and put down on other members who happen to be overweight. Being a bit overweight myself, when my cousins are all model type, and petite, I don't fit the mold. They judge you on your size. Think ok - your lazy eat too much, etc. In the meantime - you probably eat a lot less than any of the others, and are more than likely a better person.

There is a fine line between trying to help someone because you care and being abusive and putting someone down. I, too, am a bit overweight (though I'm working to overcome it) and I come from families where most everyone is also overweight. The biggest problem I would have with this sort of thing was from my dad, who worked out all the time. He was never mean about it, but even though he was trying to be helpful about my health, it still hurt. As a teenage girl, I didn't want to hear about how much healthier I would be, because all I heard was that I was fat. Personally, I believe that if you're not saying something supportive, it shouldn't be said. For example, if you're dieting, and a family member is too, then forming a little support circle is fine. Tell each other about pitfalls and struggles, and hold each other accountable. But if it isn't criticism that you're asking for, then it's uncalled for. Again: if you can't be supportive and know when to step back, then just keep your mouth shut. :)

hello J-Dawgs,I think is wrong for family members to put down or get on to members of their family about their weight or looks.I used to be overweight and I get it ALL THE TIME.They tell me to start losing weight or cut down on the eating.When I start munching on something,they'll tell me why I'm eating that and not a fruit or just starve myself till the next meal.It's absurd!You don't put down a family member because she/he is bigger!You stand by him/her no matter what.Hope this helps!

My younger sister was on a medication that caused her to gain some weight. She is VERY self conscious about it and my older sister knows this. My older sister recently lost some weight but has a ways to go. Anyway, we were all together last weekend at a birthday party and my older sister said to my younger one, "See, your husband loves you just the way you are. Look at him sitting there petting your rolls like a kitten..." WHAT? What a completely crazy thing to say! I was stunned that a sister would say that to another sister when BOTH have weight issues and both know how hard it is to deal with. Anyway, I think overweight people are VERY aware of their weight and no one needs to put them down or comment about it. The only time that I think it is appropriate is in private if someone is concerned about the heath of the overweight person and wants to seriously discuss it. Otherwise, people, especially family, should accept others for who and what they are. I am constantly getting told by BOTH sisters that I am anorexic. I am not, never have been. I am 5'5" and 122 pounds. Not underweight at all. I am so sick of hearing that I can only imagine how someone with a weight issue that bothers them feels.

Putting anyone down, for any reason, is wrong. Commenting on someone's condition in a caring way, prepared to offer real help if wanted, is right.

Meaning of family is staying together and supporting each other under any circumstances..I think its rubbish to do something like this being overwieght is a physical aspect which at times goes out of our hands..Family members should understand and support you to fight against it...Overweight people always tend to suffer from lack of confidence and also other health related problems but one thing with or without anyone's support you should not feel anything wrong..you should believe that you are alright there is something that you need to work on..put in efforts,be patient, things will be under control.............ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE

i'm overweight myself, and my mum is on at me constantly if i get a packet of crisps, or anything like that, but my brother whos stick thin, and eats nutella everyday, packets of jaffa cakes etc doesn't get bothered at all, i hate it, because i dont go telling my family members what they should and shouldn't eat, and just because my brother is thin doesn't mean that eating junk isn't going to effect him. i think it is wrong for family members to comment on your weight, it makes me eat more because i'm an emotional eater, they prob mean well but its humilating