Update on my sister in law
By Katlady2
@Katlady2 (9904)
United States
September 27, 2007 9:56pm CST
For those of you who haven't come across my first discussion on my sister in law and what she's been going through, here's a shorter version: she was pregnant with twin boys, and was due in about 3-6 weeks; she'd gone in to the hospital with severe pains the other day, was sent home after only being given IV fluids, and later ended up going back and having an emergency c-section....but the twins were still born (I feel it was due to major negligence on the part of the hospital staff and the doctor).
So now that I have everyone up to speed, I just spoke to my sis on the phone a little bit ago, and she is now at home resting. Her mom and dad are spending the night with her and her fiance, maybe for more than one night. She sounded relieved to be out of the hospital, but I could hear the tears trying to come. She is going to go to the funeral home tomorrow to try to make arrangements for the burial. We're not sure yet if there's going to be an actual funeral, or if the babies are going to be buried, and a memorial service done in the cemetery itself. One thing I do know is that my sis is going to find out if the babies can be buried in the same plot as one of her brothers that had died in a drowning accident when he was three years old (he'd be about 39 years old now). I'm hoping that that will work out, because I think it would be even more comfort to not only my sister in law, but to the rest of the family as well. I will post more when I find out the details. Thank you to all of my wonderful friends here for all the support and the shoulders to cry on. You are all very much appreciated, and I love you all. Hugs to everyone.
6 people like this
14 responses
@brendalee (6082)
• United States
28 Sep 07
OMG, I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. I will keep you all in my prayers. Didn't they know when she was there the first time that there was a problem. This may sound terrible but I would be looking for a lawyer. I have already dealt with negligent doctors too many times. Again, I am so sorry.
3 people like this
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
28 Sep 07
That hospital has a very bad reputation for things like this happening all the time. I honestly don't know how it keeps going. From what I saw of the staff there, for the most part they were very uncaring, and not very watchful of their patients. There were a couple of exceptions, but not many. I hope a lawyer is retained soon to deal with this. I'll keep you posted hon. And thank you so much for your support hon. I appreciate it very much.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
28 Sep 07
I've had you and your sister on my mind all day long! I'm so saddened to hear such news especially when there is two involved. Try to know that they're in heaven and are not feeling any pain. God is rocking them both in a rocking chair. God bless all of you in your time of grief.
3 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
28 Sep 07
That is so horrible. I am sorry this has happened to her. I will keep her and all of you in our prayers. It would be nice if they could put them in the same plot. Hopefully things will work out for her. She is going to need alot of support.
3 people like this
@whimsystoryteller (1743)
• United States
28 Sep 07
I'm not sure that by law they can allow her to bury the children in another grave but maybe they can do so right next to it. I don't know the law about that but it would seem to me that there might be some health concerns. I don't know but you need to be prepared that they may not allow that.
I know that it's going to take some time but your sister in law will heal as long as she doesn't stay focused on the loss but on the future.
I'm going to email you a poem I wrote about my daughter that I think might help her at some point.
2 people like this
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
29 Sep 07
That's what I meant to say. I think there's room in the burial plot NEXT to where the brother is buried. It won't be in the same grave, just in the same family burial plot. Thank you for straightening me out hon. See? I can't even think straight right now. And thank you so much for the poem hon. I will be sure to print it up for my sis. I think it will help her immensely.
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
28 Sep 07
I am sure I am not the only one who appreciated the update on the sad loss of the babies. It is hard to imagine what you are all going through. The love and prayer support coming to your family through your Mylot community will assist you. I feel sure of that. When our friends took their own lives my hubby and I were touched by all the love, light and compassion we received.
This is an amazing place and it is good to know that you are finding comfort as you work through the shock and grief that losses like this create. I lit to candles for them when I first heard about this and did so again today.
My thoughts and prayers continue to go out to you and yours.
Raia
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
28 Sep 07
Thank you so much for lighting the candles hon. That means a lot to me. I don't think I could deal with all of the things that have been happening to and around me if I didn't have my wonderful supportive friends here. You're right....this is an awesome amazing place, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. Hugs to you my friend.
2 people like this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
1 Oct 07
I did just a few minutes ago post to your first discussion...She will cry in her time hun...But as a Mother that has been through it please tell her do not hold it in...It's okay to cry and be angry she carried the babies for so long now they are gone...I know how heart breaking it is...The best support I had is I have a really close friend that I talk to daily she allows me to talk about my babygirl all day everyday if I need...The bereavement nurse I had from the hospital gave me an excellent idea of buying a gold chain with babyfoot prints on it... I bought the chain then bought the footprints to add....I wear it daily that if I think of her and need to touch her I can touch the chain...I write to her in a journal...I have another sight I have visited called www.DailyStrength.org that has a community they call it all about miscarriages and still birth that you can talk to other people that have gone through the loss...I hope I'm not coming across to pushy or bossy...My hugsssssss and thoughts go out to you and your family and these two precious Angel baby boys.
1 person likes this
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
2 Oct 07
Hon, you're not coming across bossy at all. I really appreciate all the help and advice you're giving. The chain with the baby footprints on it is an awesome idea. I'm going to run it by my mother in law and see what she thinks, as she's been around my sis every day. I'm also going to give her the link to the site you just gave me. Hopefully she will check it out and it will help her through all of this. Thank you so much sweetie. You are truly a Blessing.
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
2 Oct 07
Awwww that is very sweet of you to say hun...I know what it's like and it is the hardest thing to ever have to go through and I will be here for you and your sis n law every step of the way if you need me...hugzzzzzzz to you and your family...
1 person likes this
@sylvia13 (1850)
• Nelson Bay, Australia
28 Sep 07
Thanks for giving us an update about your sister in law. You have all been on my mind since I read the news last night and I am happy to hear that the two babies might be buried in the same plot as your sister's brother, who also passed away at a young age. The three boys are family, let them all rest in peace together! Blessings to you and the mother of those two babies.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
28 Sep 07
I've always thought that one of the most difficult things to have to deal with would be to carry a baby to almost full term and then have it stillborn.
The fact that it was twins and the horrid circumstances surrounding the event must be taking a huge toll on your sister in law. My heart goes out to the family but especially to the mother.
She must be feeling her loss in the most dreadful way and if it was me I'd be absolutely furiously angry with the staff at the hospital. I hope she is getting lots of comfort love and support from family.
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
29 Sep 07
Yes, she and her fiance are getting as much love, comfort, and support as we can possibly give them. The whole family is livid over the actions of the hospital staff, and I'm hoping something is done about it soon. And if it ends up being me that has to make the first move, I will do whatever I have to. I'll keep you posted. Thanks so much hon.
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
28 Sep 07
Hi Katlady,
Again my deepest sympathy to you and your family. My heart and thoughts are with you all during this difficult time. I am happy to hear that your sis in law hasn't been alone as she probably needs family more then ever right now. Thanks for the update.
Love & Hugzz, Your Friend PurpleTeddyBear ;)
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
29 Sep 07
That is good to hear that they haven't been alone. No need to thank me for the caring, that's what friends are for!
Love & Hugzz, Your Friend, PurpleTeddyBear ;)
1 person likes this
@Feona1962 (7526)
• United States
28 Sep 07
I do hope she can have them next to her brother. I am glad that her parents are there for her..I can't even imagine how difficult this must be..Keep us posted...HUGS
1 person likes this
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
29 Sep 07
Hi hon. Her parents have been so wonderful in this whole situation. There was a time that I wouldn't have believed that there would be this much harmony between them. It's a long story, and I won't go into it here. I'm just happy that it's all water under the bridge, so to speak. Hugs to you too sweetie.
@HomeFlower (987)
• Canada
28 Sep 07
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of the twins.
You have my deepest sympathy.
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
29 Sep 07
I didn't hear about this. I'm finding it harder to get to discussions as I continue being on mylot. I'm speechless Kat, I really can't say anything. Nothing's coming to mind. I want to wish you and her the best, good life, love and hope, but I feel as if its not nearly enough. I want to support and comfort you both but I kind of feel powerless.
One thing I really can think to say though is for you Kat, your sister and her fiance stay with each other and hold each other tight. Live a little bit longer and stronger for those twins. Tell your sister to face the days and the nights knowing that those twins are still there in spirit, willing to render comfort when she really needs it. Let her know about our wishes to her, to you Kat and to the family.
1 person likes this
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
29 Sep 07
Don't feel bad hon...when it comes to talking to my sis about this situation, I've been pretty speechless myself. Like you, I keep feeling that there is nothing I can say that will be of any help to her at all. So I just hug her and her fiance, and her daughter, a lot. And I reassure them that I am there for them whenever they need anything. When she is not in such a fragile state of mind, I will definitely pass on your wonderful advice hon. I know she will appreciate it very much, as do I.
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
29 Sep 07
I haven't heard from them yet, so I'm not sure what happened today. I think that my mother in law was to go with them, since she is the level headed one at the moment. In fact, she's the strongest (inside) lady I've ever seen. So between her, myself, and the brothers rallying around my sister in law, she is very well looked after. Thanks hon.
