I Wonder Why

I am quite agree with you but so far as I know, couple did that sometimes it's because they don't really want to bring the issue into their relationship. This answer is what I get from my friends who are couple when I was stuck as what you have mentioned. Just like, a bf like to speed and gf doesn't like. The bf will listen to gf but yet he still doesn't want to give up his "hobby" but yet he has to listen to his gf. So finally, impossible for the bf to raise the issue up with his gf by saying that he want to speed as he know his gf is acting for his own good. So, finally ended up, bf will be telling me that he really tried very hard in the relationship and so on. And then, gf will be telling bf should listen to him and so on. I mean they love each other but sometimes something is just not that good to bring up and chat, right? Haha. Sorry, I am saying in kind of confusing way.

Yes, this is the most common and the only main problem for me too, that people cannot communicate openly in their own marriages and this is the main reason for problems that take place in a marriage too i feel. Yes, ideally it should be that hte couple shares their own joys and sorrows with each other and feel and find one another by their sides always, but mostly this does not happen and the main reason i feel is ego. Each side has their own inflated egos and feel that sharing their problems with the other would make them feel or become lower than the other or what would the other think about them, that transparency is missing i think. For me its always been my husband and we share every smallest of things under the sun. But, yes there are times wehn we do fight , as thats normal too, and those times are the worst for us, as each one prefers keeping to our ownselves and not talking to the toher and those days are terrible for both of us, as we are so used to talking all the time, and sharing our lives with each other too, but it happens, when each one thinks and waits for the other to start communicating first instead. So i can say that we should put our egos aside and just be free to communicate with each other as there can be no one but your spouse who would understand you better, no one to guide you better too and at times, friends just make fun of the couple and we are just like a laughing stock in their eyes and they are not in our situation or dont know the depth of our problems and its something that we have to find solutions to ourselves i feel.

that is easier said than done.sometimes a relationship can reach a point when talking is unbearable.what's the use of saying the things that you dont want to your partner if he/she's not willing to listen anyway?how can you tell your partner what you dont want from him/her when you also have some traits which he/she doesnt want from you?not all communication is smooth especially in marriage

Some people find it comfortable to talk to people who are not directly involved in the problem, meaning they can confide in a close friend to get advise rather than talk to their partner. I agree talking to the partner is the best thing but it wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion.

i think sometimes we talk to our friends instead of the one we are with as we dont want to cause problems in the relationship or hurt anyone

I think a lot of this down to just needing to sound off. We all need someone to be able to talk to, bring us back down and help calm us. Unfortunitly your friend feels caught up in the middle, she needs to tell them both how she feels. We all have our own troubles and as much as we like to help our friends, we can't allow their troubles to become our own.

Hi. Things like this has happened to so many couples in the world. To me I personally don't believe in confiding to other person before the problem can be solved with using my own self initiative. Only after I have sought so many ways to solve, and yet the problem still couldn't be solved, I will try to get a third party to get involved. I am a person who likes to tell the truth and keep nothing inside. Whenever there is a problem, I like it to be settled then and there. I hate keeping secrets because it would only lead to bigger issues like trust, suspicion and disrespect, to name a few. In my case it's me who is having the problem because my husband always keeps things to himself. I don't understand why he's doing it. To me the act is just a nonsense thing to do.

Maybe they are scarred of the outcome if they tell there fiance, spouse, etc. not that they will beat them just the argument they dont want it so the go b@tch to someone else. Or maybe they need advice before they go to there significant other with the problem. Or maybe they dont have enough trust in the relationship to go to one another. I always go to my fiance with my problems I tell him everything even if it takes me a couple of weeks to do it we know whats going on between one another. Part of this might be because I odnt realy have a good friend or because i would perfer us being honest most of its the second one. But if i went to a friend it would be for advice then I would talk to my fiance.

There are times that we just need someone outside the relationship to vent with or confide with and somehow solicit any suggestions because it could be that each party involved has different arguements so they need another opinion to open their eyes to the right thing. However,for me, a couple who are into this situations should develop their communication more. Because if you have a good communication then you will have no doubt in telling him everything you feel about him and the relationship either it is a strenght or a weakness of them. With us, we make it sure that we talked about anything first. Listen to each others opinion and try to weigh things. If on that time, one of us is acting stubborn the other one will stay calm to avoid adding pressure and make the situation worst. In most times, it's my husband who is really calm. Me? I easily flame up. But I am trying to overcome such "attitude" of me. If there is really a need for me to tell something to other people, my first confidant is my mom-in-law even if it has to do with her son, next are my few choosen friends. When I was single, my parents especially my Mom is my confidant with everything from lovelife, to school, etc. but since they are very far from me so there's a lil changes. However, I still discussed to my parents about some disagreement or situations in the relationship if I called them or during chat.

bcoz dey are more close 2 each oder. ..