Colour Prejudice - my first real experience
By Sharon38
@Sharon38 (1912)
Jamaica
October 2, 2007 7:53am CST
You know yesterday I was at my desk and after finishing my tasks I began to get bored. My boss had gone out for lunch so I was left to myself most of the time. You often hear that curiosity killed the cat? Well my curiosity surely gave me a healthy dose of reality!I was browsing and fooling around when I saw something about free chat rooms came up. Being curious as usual I signed up and went into a room named Welcome. Of course the regular things were happening in there and then someone asked if any girls were there or were they all male. I said I am female and a Jamaican too. Of course all hell broke loose in there because guys really began to check me out and the conversation was lively and I was laughing my head off at these crazy guys.
Anyways, as the conversation progressed this guy entered and aksed if there were any girls who wanted to be abused there. The guys certainly jumped on him and started dealing with his case so I being the only female there spoke up and said no woman in their right minds will want to be abused. He asked me where I was from and igf I was a gild indeed I said and told him where I came from.
Mylotters I was shocked out of my wits! The guy told me somethings that I was appalled to know that people really still hate us because of the colour of our skin. I held my own agianst hin though and told him that obviously he was udnerprivileged, uneducated and a damn fool untop of all this! He called me ni...er but thats ok.
I am shocked to know that in this time and age of increased technology and with blacks being so prominent in society and most of all with Jamaicans excelling both in good and bad things (I am sorry to say) I just never expected to meet on such blatant hatred!I know what it is to be hated and envied because people think you have something that they think they should have but to hated because of the colour of my skin! Never!You know the thing is I feel so sorry for him because he would never know the potential and warmth that our people do have and portray. One thing I am gald for is that I was grown with love inside me to overlook this misconcept and to know that inspite of all that is going on around me I am loved. No one can take that away from me and these are the things I keep instilling in my child.
Obviously he has never known genuine love and friednship if he cant look beyond a person's skin colour to learn and appreciate them for who they are. Different! That is what makes being friends with you people interesting. We may have same amout of features (2 eyes, hands feet, body parts) but even so each are different in shape, size and colour).
I love to look at my friend Ann (Lovelydame. I love to see the beauty she has she is so different from me and I find her to be interesting. My friend CLaire, we are so different, that young guy here that makes things lively and change our somber and unhappy thoughts to one of laughter. We are all different and have different parts to play in this life!So this is an experience that I dont regret because at the same time there are so many guys at perfspot and other sites I have been on who are of different races who have all asked me to be their wife. I am classified as beautiful black girl, lovely girl and other wonderful names. So if one guy feels so desperate that he has to verbalise his intelligence in that way I pity him! Poor thing! I will have to pray an extra prayer each day for him so that he can find peace within himself.
So my friends if you have any experiences like this I would love for you to share with me and even if you have never had one like this I would still appreciate hearing from you.
God bless!
8 people like this
16 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
2 Oct 07
Hi sharon38, I am sorry you had to experienced that. Yes there are still some that are prejudice and not just against skin color but also what someones faith is.
Just so you know, not all whites are like that just like I know not all blacks are like that. My husband works in a setting where he is the minority, and some blacks are also prejudice.
I really don't think it is a color/faith issue, it is like a bully, these people have very low self-esteem, and if it makes them feel big by putting someone down, then that is the problem..
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
3 Oct 07
We have that bully mentality here too and it is very famous in our schools too but to know that an adult actually behave that way and is so shallow is really hard to believe. Thanks for sharing you both. I am not hurt by it but I guess I was shocked more than anything else.
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
3 Oct 07
Well that stinks Sharon. It is real sad people are still like that and even on the net of all things. Usually racism on the net is unheard of (due obviously to the anonymous factor) but I've seen a couple of occasions of it and its real disgusting. Even here on mylot a couple of people were prejudice to others due to where they are from, it was sad.
Don't let some random clown get to you, he's here today he's gone tomorrow. Just keep on moving.
2 people like this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
3 Oct 07
Hi Sharon. No I have never had this kind of experience myself but believe me, in this age of ‘technology & equality’ such things are definitely a part of society. Forget about black & white, here in India itself, we have this prejudice and preference for the fair skin. Only difference is that in India, this is restricted mostly to girls, like fair girls are thought of as more beautiful and belonging to better class than dark girls. If this is not prejudice then what is? And this between people of a same nation! Dark-skinned people never have it easy anywhere and its only a proof of the grit, determination and intelligence of your nations, that you have overcome centuries of inhuman treatment, apathy, exploitation and neglect and yet risen to take your rightful place among the league of nations. The guy you speak of is neither an example nor an exception, he is just a proof that old practices die hard and dealing with such morons is just a waste of time, energy and sanity. He is a typical MCP and I am sure that his views are not limited to blacks only, they extend to women too and anything and everything that he thinks is inferior to him. He is typical of the tribe that believe that they are superior in some way or the other. They have just been brought up this way, there is nothing we can do except ignore and move on. Conversation with them just leave us with a bad taste in our mouth. It would definitely have helped if you could have actually punched the daylights out of him, but since civil society expects restrain from us, so we will leave barking dogs to do just that…bark!
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
4 Oct 07
Hi Sharon,
Glad you found me funny. Its one of my constant and conscious efforts to be and remain funny and to try and make people laugh off their woes in my own little way. to tell you the truth though, reading your post, I really really felt like punching the b**stard. I know that’s not the solution, but what do you do to an ill-mannered selfish mean brat other than a slap to bring him to his senses?
Sudip
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
2 Oct 07
Unfortunately prejudice is alive and well in this world. It is unfortunate that you became a victim of it. I also think the anonymity of the computer allows and actually encourages people to be nasty and rude and bigots.
I also don't believe that the world will ever be prejudice free, 10 years ago, Muslims were a different religious group, now, they are often victims of prejudice and hatred because of the actions of some Muslims.
I wish the world would be a better place and we can all do our part, but I am afraid it is not enough.
2 people like this
@erhardtg (64)
• United States
2 Oct 07
He's MEAN and he is not worth your time. Someday he will meet his match and if he doesn't change his attitude, he'll be treated the same way or maybe more worse than what he did. Your post made me feel a little 'angry'. I hate those kind of attitudes.
Anyway, my color is brown too.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
2 Oct 07
I have never had the misfortune of dealing with prejudice because of the color of my skin. I did have to deal with funny looks from other Caucasian people when I was with my daughters father. He is African-American and says he is part Jamaican as well. I am worried that she will have to deal with these prejudices as she gets older because of her skin. Her father is very dark and I am rather pale. Right now, everyone asks me if she is either Mexican or Indian because of the caramel color of her skin. I do not hesitate to correct them. I have yet to encouter anyone who seem to have a problem with her because of her skin. (and if they do then that is their problem) There are so many ignorant people in this world I am sure she will cross paths with one or more of them in time. I am planning on finding a way to teach her to pity those people not hate them. I am sorry you had to deal with this ignorant man, but I am also glad that it took you this long in life to have to come in contact with such ignorance. I pray you never have to encounter it ever again.
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
3 Oct 07
Dont worry about your child she will be jsut fine with a lovely set of parents like you. I am alright and I am always thankful for evey experience no matter how terrible it is because at least I can be of help to someone going through or experiencing a similar problem.
1 person likes this
@luzamper (1357)
• Philippines
9 Oct 07
I'm very sorry to hear such a sad experience you went through. We Filipinos also experience similarly, we are somehow belittled but they do not understand and so we just pray for those kind of people and ignore them for they are the kind who seem to be. We were all born and created equal and God loves all of us.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
22 Oct 07
And why did you up and volunteer that you were Jamaican? Did he ask you what country you came from or was it that they were talking about a situation in his country, and you had to explain, as I do, that you live -----? When I first joined myLot, I did not say that I am a Canadian, German Austrian English Welsh with a little Danish and possibly Italian right off the bat. You just wanted to make a statement as to your color and that is why they reacted. Had they gotten to know you and perhaps if you had told them of your wonderful country, maybe talked about the Reggae music, then things would have been different. People have preconceived notions of who people are. Why if I had blurted out first my background, then people might think I was a Liberal, and that my family had connections with Adolph Hitler.
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
23 Oct 07
Well Suspense I was asked where I was from and it is not in my nature to lie so I told the truth. Why hide who you are because of things people did long before you were born? I laughed at the Adolph Hitler thing because in Church on Sunday we were saying he was evil but we never thought that the others are potential Hitlers!
Anyway I enjoyed this so much that I am still smiling, you are a funny one. I am not ashamed of my colour or where I am from. Yes fellow Jamaicans have done wicked and naughty things before, after and presently, but I am still produ to let the world know that I am Jamaican. If I am ashamed of who I am where do I stand in life? Do I steal someone's identity that I think is better than mine? I think not my friend.
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
9 Oct 07
I am aghast and sorry to read your experiences. This is the least one can expect. But this shows that there are all kinds of people in this world.
Discrimnation on the basis of Colour is really very disgusting. People's mind are polluted, I believe we are made of same flesh and blood, yet due to some bioligical reasons, there is difference in our colour. My colour is very fair and my partner's colour is wheatish (i.e. not fair) yet not only I accepted her with full warmth and love and continue to do so and I have never mentioned or pointed out or even discussed anything about our skin colour in my entire married life. Nor I will do that.
I hate to discriminate people on this basis of colour and I feel it is the worst practice, which can be followed by anybody.
Our minds are polluted since childhood that the colour white or farier skin is better than the dark colour and these kind of thoughts get so deep rooted in our minds, when we grow older, we can not just get out those silly thoughts.
All in all an excellent and outstanding Post Dear!
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
10 Oct 07
Hats off to you for your steadfast devotion and spirit. I hope you would always be successful in your life. Best of Luck & best wishes from me.
Deepak
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
9 Oct 07
Thanks Dpk. In high school it was sort of hinted but its like those who were richer and you being the poorer student from a poor family but I never let it hinder me I studied twice harder than anyone else because I realised that it would take much more for me to succeed.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
10 Oct 07
Honey, let me tell you. This racist thing is very much still alive. In the last two years, I have been called the "N" word to my face more than once. Before this had happened to me, I thought that being called that word gave me license to get real physical, if you know what I mean.
There was a guy who called me that not too long ago and I was ready to fight him. But, the Lord dealt with me about it and let me know that this guy did not hate me, but that he hated himself. They only use that word as a weapon and we should not let it get to us.
It took a few hours, but I forgave him from my heart. I am so glad that I did, because a few weeks later, he jumped from a building and busted his head wild open. Don't let it get to you. Shake it off and pray for them. Believe me, they are hurting a lot more than they could ever hurt us.
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
12 Oct 07
I am really sorry that he took tha extreme route out of life and even more sorry that he did not make friends with you that you could lead him to a better way of life. You see they are filled with darkness and once they are consumed by it most of them take that way out.
I am glad you forgave him and that you listened to the Lord. God bless and you are stronger than the eemy realises!
@Savvynlady (3684)
• United States
13 Dec 07
As an African American woman, I have experienced it; Matter of fact today in the mall, I was going through it to kill some time and wait on the bus to go home. I was passing this white lady, and she just happened to hold on a bit tighter to her purse. I wanted to say, ma'am, I dont'work two jobs for nothing, I really work for my $$; but then maybe it wasn't all about me. I could be she wanted to hold on to her money too! I cannot say for sure, but I won't worry about it. I have experienced racism, sexism and classism, and at this point in the game, I just wish folks would cut it out. Here we are in a new century and millenium and bringing stuff we should have buried back in the day.
Sharon, I'm sorry you had to endure that. But as someone said earlier, it wasn't really worth it. not nice to get the flack, but greater to know that one can rise above it.
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
14 Dec 07
Sorry I took so long to respond but I like your thinking. It is really good when people can rise above their circumstances and still smile at life and love it same way. I guess it all happens to us some time or the other.
Pity that woman did not know that you would have protected her more than hurt her.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
2 Oct 07
Hello Sharon. I feel so shameful for that guy who said so rude words against you for the color yesterday. There is nothing with our color of our skin. We are all God's children and we share the world together. We don't come to this world for prejudice. I hope that he will say sorry to you for his rude words against you yesterday. Anyway I hope that you are not influenced by him for his rudeness and ignorance. Be good and be happy, sharon.
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
3 Oct 07
I am glad that you are not influenced by this. That's why in one of your previous discussions, something like 'this is me'. I can tell that you have a very positive attitude towards life, which is good to you, my dear sharon. Please keep that up. Love from williamjisir. Have a nice day.
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
3 Oct 07
Hi William thanks for your concern and I am not easily influenced by anyone. I have to gather the facts and from that make a decision. There are no facts in that encounter only that he is one miserable human being and wants to take it out on me!
2 people like this
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
29 Oct 07
I, too, am sorry that you had to experience that. It is the kind of talk that some people with certain mental problems make and it is hard to know what right perspective to put that in, but your idea of giving him and his kind an extra prayer seems like a good one! Once when we were young and I was looking for an apartment for my new husband and me, a woman went on and on about how nice the neighborhood in which she was renting was and finally said, "And you will be glad to know that we do not allow Blacks to live here." Well, I was NOT glad to know that. I was angry that she would say such a thing and almost at a loss for words, so although it wasn't true, I told her this: "Then we would certainly NOT be happy here because my husband is Black" He isn't, but I just wanted to shake her up a little. Then I went right to the authorities and reported her for housing discrimination. Well, you know, some people just have to hate and I have known people who hate people with green eyes or red hair or skin that is either "too dark" or "too light" and it makes no sense at all to me. I had a friend once who carried a cane and he was a vibrant and interesting guy with a flair for fashion, so I saw his cane as a fashion accessory. Then one day a mutual acquaintance said of him "Poor fellow, he has to live with that limp!" I knew this man for years and never saw him limp! He was handsome and smart and successful in every way. His wife said that in 60 years of marriage he had never uttered an unkind word to her.
Yet one insignificant person only saw in him that he had a limp. Go figure...
God Bless you, too!
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
30 Oct 07
Once I myself have been told in the workplace not to wear my hair a certain way, even though it was neatly done and away from the face. Some people just seem to have too much time on their hands, eh? But now that you mention secretaries, One I knew had achieved a wonderful distinction for her volunteer work and was to go on television to get her reward in front of millions of people and the other secretaries in her office did not even congratulate here. They all knew about it because that was the reason she had to take a day off work and they were the ones responsible for getting a substitute for her that day. At the time I thought because they were all White and she was Black that it was solely discrimination, but later I learned that these women treated other White women that way too. They were just jealous and petty to everyone they saw as a threat--that is everyone smarter and more accomplished than themselves. It is often impossible to know whether people are discriminating on purpose or just idiots, so my hubby applies the Napoleonic code to this dilemma and just says they are guilty until proven innocent, lol.
I'm pretty sure your hair looks lovely just the way it is, and good for you in not processing it!
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
31 Oct 07
Thank you for that. I believe that all are innocent until proven guilty. I enjoyed your response and thanks for the encouragement.
I sat down and rope twisted my hair last night and I got compliments from all angles. One peson even asked if it was my real hair and that it looked lovely. So tell me now why would I want to change that!
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
30 Oct 07
I am really sorry to know that we still have people who mentally enslaved by descriminations of all forms.
I think I meet on it regualrly but never really looked at it but this incident really opened my eyes and I have seen it even in the workplace. I wil share one instant with you.
Normally, when the secretaries at a igher level are going on vacation leave, the next secretary in line works for her and gets an extra on her salary. this is what we call acting allowances. Anyway I worked for the executive secretary all the time and she always chose me to work for her but in this case a new officer was also in the Unit. This officer decided that I had no sense, did not know what I was about and a total idiot.
So she went behind my back complained to the boss and I was reported to the PErsonnel Unit. Having worked in personnel for 7 of the nine years I was a bit nervous about going there but I was calmed by the Director and advised that I shoudl hold on for one more week because the officer had said she could not work with me and I should be returned to the Unit I was coming from, which I did not want to go back to. Ironic isnt it? Anyway I got a higher job and sitting in the same office with that same officer who from time to time still tries to belittle me but I have learnt to stop her in her tracks and let her know tht I am no simpleton just because I do not answer back. No wehre have I worked before did they have a problem with me except her and the thing is she was not even my supervisor! Tell uyou about someone trying to make people's life miserable and unhappy! Well she still tries to do it but I know what to do and I believe that there are indeed many forms of descrimination which we never took notice of but its there anyway. I was descriminated against because of my hair and the fact that I knew my stuff and would not listen to her and do things stupidly! My hair is not processed by the way, it is naturally kinky and will remain so!
@hassanah (387)
• Malaysia
2 Oct 07
I have brown skin too.But I never had an experience like you.I always heard that many white man dont like coloured skin like us.I think they are lol.What happened if God give they coloured skin like us?I still dont understand why they are so stupid and dont have mind.Maybe they dont have brain too!!I hope you will calm down and patiend.God always be with patient people.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
2 Oct 07
Hassanah, I don't think you quite got what I said, it isn't about color or faith, but a bully mentality. I am white and so is my husband, but because he is the minority, he is not treated well. Unfortunately he brings it home..:(
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
3 Oct 07
I honestly am not upset just shocked. I mean I have watched it on the news, read it in papers, seen in movies but to really meet a person like that is really shocking to me. I am not taken or hurt by what people say but it was the hatred that was behind all the abuse. He is one sick soul!
1 person likes this
@gorgeousdreamer (1034)
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
I really hate people who still discriminate other race. Though I didn't experience to be discrimated yet, I still feel bad about that. Everytime I watch a movie which has discrimanation, I feel anger to those people who are discriminating other races. We Filipinos are also discriminated during the Spanish colonization because of our color.
But somehow I feel discriminated with my classmates when I was in college because I was a very small girl. I'm only standing 5'. They would always tease me for that. Sometimes they call me a dwarf and sometimes they even make fun of me. They also underestimate me during our duty in the hospital (because I'm a nurse). They would always think that I can't do it just becaus I'm small. Like carrying the baby or lifting the patient.
Sometimes my self-esteem is affected because of it. Sometimes I feel like I'm an abnormal being, like an alien. Thank God! I also have a friend who is also small like me. They also the same with her.
We always share with each other on what we feel about what our classmates are saying. Sometimes we just ignore them. As long as we have each other, I feel confident and I feel that I am not alone.
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
3 Oct 07
Good for you gorgeous. I believe that because we look different in many ways when you dont fit into society's standard of being beautiful we become persons to be attacked. I am glad you have found someone to comfort and to be comforted. dont worry as the ible says " This too will pass".
Go ahead and be the best you can be and enjoy being what you love. you are short and so am I if I stand against someone of 6 ft. Ignore them. They have nothing better to do.
@lovelydame3000 (1577)
• India
7 Oct 07
Hi Sharon! Discrimination exists in this world and it is a sad reality. People tend to discriminate others on the basis of colour, caste & religion, eating habits etc. I have experience of a muslim guy who i was friendly with long back who never left an opportunity to distribute literature or give lectures on his religion to all those around. Another guy with whom i am friendly with insists that i have only vegitarian food like him and sometimes speaks to me asif I am an untouchable because i eat chicken & fish. Not long back a friend of mine from Nigeria before proposing to me asked me if my family would mind me marrying a black guy and i told him that my family's concern would only be whether the guy is financially stable and if i would be happy with him.
My opinion on those who are biased are that they are sick and have no cure at all. Have'nt you heard 'black is beautiful'? If someone finds you irritating and ugly because of your darkskin there are people who find dark skinned girls 'sexy' too. You are a good humanbeing and one of my best friends and I do not want you to take such discrimination to heart. You do not become inferior because someone thinks that you are inferior to them. So don't worry, be happy!
