How to say "No" to your husband

Wow...this is going to sound harsh and I'm sorry for that but here goes... " know that I have to do my obligation as a wife to my husband" Is this part of your culture?? Cause I can tell you that there is NO WAY I'm "obligated" to do ANYTHING for/to/with my husband...regardless of what it is...I'm not his property nor is he mine...Our marriage is a two way street and everything is equal so if I'M not in the mood, he's not getting any and if he doesnt like it too flippin bad thats not my problem... If you arent in the mood you arent in the mood end of story ya know....Dont feel guilty about it and you dont have to make it up to him at all...How do you say "no" you just say "No I'm not in the mood" and thats that....

A lot of people are not intimate unless its late at night and they are getting ready to go to sleep. Their day is over and they are often quite tired. You mention that your mind is willing but your body isn't... I think one solution to your problem is not waiting until late at night to be intimate when you are ready to drop. Try sometimes doing so when you are well rested. In the morning, in the middle of the afternoon, etc...you get the idea. And variety keeps things exciting. If you need to have a little romantic weekend getaway to jump start things/sort of a change of scenery do it. I understand you are tired and its a totally legitimate reason not to be intimate for that particular night, but if saying "no" is becoming the norm instead of "no" being after that big quarterly review at work or after the day you hiked 10 miles and want to drop, I think its time to think of solutions to keep things interesting.

I think honesty is the best way. Some women make up excuses not to be with their husbands. And the men know that. So if your upfront with your man he should understand and except it. Just like you would except it. No its not really an obligation to obey. Just words. Not true.

I think in a relationship everything needs to be worked out, there will always be sacrifices and compromising. And that husbands and wives should be able to understand each other in a deeper level. Though some would say that it is an obligation to make love to their partner, I believe that it is a mutual thing. Nobody wants to be into something when the other person is not at all for it. I believe your husband will understand your reasons just as long as you make up for them when you are actually in a good mood.

i sledom come across this exact issue myself and i too feel guilty about "rejecting" him as he puts it.. but just because i feel guilty doesnt mean he is angry or upset... we have equally refused one another in or relationship.. it isnt expected all the time.. and as long as the bond and will is still tere then there is nothing to worry baout.. i have made it clear to my husband sometimes i just dont feel like it and when i dont feel like it he has to respecg that. and he does, doesnt mean he doesnt "pout" for a little bit, but he does understand the fact htat even though he married it it is still my body and i still have a say... myt duties as a "physical satmina" as a wife do get completed its not that i dont give in because i do very often... but regardless the favors are always returned

Well try to discuss it with your husband and explain to him why did sometimes you say no when he want it. Maybe your husband is intelligent enough to understand you of course, and when you say no say it in a nice way accompanied by an acceptable explanation and next time try to make it up, maybe its not always you say no everytime he want it. Explain it well to him and he will understand you for sure.

I don't think of it as an obligation, it's something that both my husband and I enjoy doing, and if either one of us thought of it as an obligation, then it wouldn't be an equal marriage. We make love when we want to and because WE want to. If one of us does not want to, then it is not the right time to make love.

I have really no problem saying no. I had been intimate with my husband when I really didn't feel like it but I got into it after a while and all was well. I have been married for 23 years and it's almost like we know each other so well that we are on the same schedule when it comes to feeling intimate. He never turns me down, lol. But sometimes I am just tired or have things on my mind or whatever and I am honest about it and he is cool with that. He doesn't want me to just do something because he wants me to, he wants me to be there mentally and emotionally as well as physically. I really think if you explain the reason you are feeling the way you are - that you love him but are very tired or whatever - maybe cuddling and just sharing quiet moments together will be enough. It is for us and sometimes I end up being in the mood after a little cuddling and relaxing!

I am not married and please see what singles has to say about your querry. I think it is alright to say no if your husband wants you to be intimate. For one thing it is your right as a wife and he must respect your feelings. It is to remind your husband that he has a human wife and not a machine that when he wants it he gets it. Although he will feel angry but its part of adjustments that the husband must extend for his wife. He must think that you also must cater to your own emotions and he must understand that.