What should I do.My partner cheated on me
By amna1987
@amna1987 (2)
India
October 8, 2007 11:51pm CST
I'm feeling so bad,so sick! Feels like I should End My life. My Boyfriend just called me up one min ago and said that he no longer needs me. I was dumbstruck! When I asked why, he said he found someone else! this is so sick.He never cared about me,my life, my heart, our promises.... nothing! Just left m in the middle of nowhere! what should I do? Should I contact him and persuade him to continue the relationship? I just cannot live without Him! what should I do? Please help me God! Give me enough strength to live my life without him! please help me!!!
2 people like this
22 responses
@uplrights (9)
• United States
9 Oct 07
I know exactly how you feel. Things like this had happened to me before i got married. It does take time to get over the heartbreak. you may not believe me but there is someone out there who is better than him.If i was in your position i would not call him but instead try to find some one else who respects me more, at least that is what i did and now i've benn married since oct of 1998
2 people like this
@qinqin1202 (376)
• China
9 Oct 07
i think most people will experience what you are experiencing, however, everything will be fine someday. maybe you think you cannt live without you bf, you even want to kill yourself, but what you should figure out is that is it worthy for you to be so sad just because a man who dont love you, and never care about you, left you alone.
as for me, it is his pity for losting a girl who loves him, but you are luck to have a unkind bf left you.
2 people like this
@menctomas (278)
• Philippines
10 Oct 07
Hi amna. Sorry to hear what your ex did to you. Honestly, it sucks and it will hurt a lot for some time. But believe us when we say that mostly everyone experienced or will experience what you are going through. I was in the same situation before and it ripped my heart open, really. that's what it felt like. However, I didn't ask him to come back, actually, I was the one that ended it. My only reason was, if someone didn't want me anymore, why should I push myself to him? My advice is move on, accept it and in time, it will heal... Then you will meet the right person that will love you and treat you like you should be treated. That is a promise.
1 person likes this
@MarieJ23 (1040)
• United States
10 Oct 07
I was in your situation, a couple of years ago and I know how painful it is. I know it will be a long and difficult struggle ahead of you especially as the day goes by and you'll miss him more and more. But please don't get blinded with the pain. Think of the wonderful life ahead of you. Just remember, everything in this world happened with a purpose. You might not be able to realize right now what it is but in due time I know you will. In my case, I am thankful that it happened because I found my husband, I know he is NOT perfect but I am certain he is a better man than my ex.
Please, please don't contact him anymore. Give some respect on yourself by not forcing the relationship that doesn't work anymore. You can live without him, I am sure of that! Just make yourself very busy. Before, I keep myself very busy at work such that I offered myself to get the overtime of my colleagues who doesn't want to work overtime so that when I get home I am very tired already and can fall asleep right away.
But before you will go any further, the first thing you should do is mourn your lost love. Cry if you need to. It helps me much that time. I know today and the couple of days to come you are still in denial, you can't believe and accept that someone just leave you hanging half-way. I will say that stage is normal. But once you're done with that and you will be able to accept what happened, then you will just be amazed how lucky you are that such thing happened. In my case, when I was able to accept everything and finally move on, I even told myself,"Goossh, Marie I can't believe that you cried much, acted like stupid and think that your world will end because of him!"Just remember if he was able to do it once then there is no reason that he can't do it again.
Forgive him if the pain mellow down already BUT NEVER EVER commit with the same person again.
Girl, just remember it's his lost not yours. He had once someone who loves him truly but he let you go without reason. In due time, you will find someone who will love you, respect you and value you that much. So, cheer up!
1 person likes this
@alecsvlad (1)
• Romania
10 Oct 07
you should maybe cut his throat :) i don`t think you should continue your relationshio ..
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
9 Oct 07
No you should not run after him. I've been there. I also felt devastated because it seemed like all of my dreams were just thrown away like garbage. After a few months I had gotten over it and now here I am giving advice. Give it time and the wounds will heal. Don't ever think that you cannot live without him. That's not true.
I believe in positive thinking. Be glad that such a pig is now out of your life and you're free to find a better man.
@kumar27 (129)
• India
9 Oct 07
Hi,
i do not know about the sentiments prevails over yur country and how others can cope up with this situation.
I only can suggest u to come back to your mind and make a deep friendship with u and ask ahould u really go after that guy to cajole him or persuade him to come back to u ...if your love is so strong he will come back to u coz god knows u can not live without him but u should also make your mind a stone like substance to encounter such situation and u should think why all of a sudden he delivered the blow to u in such a way.
u must not forget God has his own way to make u a most distinguish figure.
So, wait and see where does water go...
1 person likes this
@jHoEn16 (2043)
• Australia
9 Oct 07
i understand what you feel coz ive been hurt many times too... but saying that you cant live without him is not true! you just think that you cant but the truth is you can... what he did to you was not really nice... thats an insult and disrespectful..
the best thing you can do was to accept it.. if you want call him and said this... you know i dont need you too... actually i dont love you anymore.. long time ago but i just cant dump you because i dont want to be the bad.. and now that you said you dont need me... oh thank you! you make me feel great!:) he hurt you that much he should feel that too... then after that forget him and give those other people a chance to love you
@laurika (4532)
• United States
9 Oct 07
Hi, i am sure it is hard for you, but please don't call him, work on something other.You need to move on without him and start your own life.you wrote he never care about you, so why you want this realtionship continue?to me it has no sense.You better start to work on yourself.Find something what you wanted to do, long time ago and you never have time.Find some new hobbies something what will make you happy.And give to everything time.I am sure t hurts now, but it would quit after time.
@netstimpy (18)
• Portugal
9 Oct 07
Relax, he isn't worth the trouble. Move on, and have fun, go out with your friends, get things to do in order to get occupied and stop thinking in him.
1 person likes this
@ailema4ever (2668)
• Finland
9 Oct 07
I'm SO sorry to hear that, Amna. The thing is, you said he never cared about you and your life...so he doesn't deserve you. You're too good to be with someone like him.
I know your heart's breaking right now, but contacting him wouldn't do any good for both of you, especially for you.
I'd say just give some time for you to mourn and grieve...and let go of him. It's no use trying to get the guy to continue the relationship. Even if he does it due to pity, in the end it won't work out.
There are plenty of other fishes in the sea. You'll find another one later on. You're still young. Your heart will heal later on. Trust me. Other people've also gone through similar heart-breaks.
Give yourself time to grieve, but then move on, Girl!
1 person likes this
@minnie_ph (15)
• Philippines
9 Oct 07
you know what, i can only suggest that you can now live your life life to the fullest girl..maybe god gave you this oppurtunity to give yourself a time to relax and ease down a bit before you continue to go on into your life with someone else.he is just looking and listening to you and to all your burdens...as they always say, God is not that bad to give you this kind of situation right now he is just testing you to see if you could really handle relationships harder than this one...all sacrifices and challenges he gives us is just temporary,and i know and fully trust him that someday he'll give you the man that is really right for you and your heart to love..i know because he just gave me one! " ,
1 person likes this
@MagieL (266)
• China
9 Oct 07
You should live your life!Belive life is so beautiful!you should live your life more happy than before and at the same time ,you can enrich yourself,substantiate yourself.there are so many men and you must belive they are all better than your boyfriend .Your boyfriend said he no longer needs you, it's his lossing ,not yours.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
11 Oct 07
I think anybody would have felt like you.
I had this experience. it was a so called friend of mine.
he was so nice to me when i was in the same city.
Later he started to avoid me. recently he called me and was accusing me of what i don't know anything.
he has stopped contact with me.
Now i understand he was nice to me as he was taking advantage.
So its =life.
Don't beg to him.
its not your lose, its his lose.
he has lost someone he will never get in life
@cayets1984 (118)
• Philippines
9 Oct 07
move on dear... its not worth it... after few more hours (hopefully) it should start to sink in to you that whatever it is that u had with him doesnt mean anything to him.... so why bother?
you should focus on what to do next for a better you. please dont dwell yourself into depression (though its normal... just dont take too long, ok?) u still have a life to live... and you will have a good life ahead of you... so keep moving
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
10 Oct 07
It'll take time, but you'll be OK. You should NOT call him & try to talk him into anything. You should do whatever you can to not have any contact with him at all- if you have things at each other's homes, consider having a friend pick it up or mailing it back to him. Do not compromise your self-respect for someone who's not worthy of you- if he was looking to & found someone else, he's by default not worthy of you. Try to think of it like this, the universe took him out of your way so that the real right man for you can come into your life.
@vicki2876 (5636)
• Canada
9 Oct 07
I am very sorry you are in such pain. I have also gone through a messy very hurt breakup. It is very hard to see it now but you can move forward without him. Be strong and take care. You can do this and you are so much better than a man who cheats on you. :) Vicki
@boka0305 (7)
• United States
9 Oct 07
Amna, I know it may feel like there is nowhere to go from here, but just think about the experiences and opportunities you've had because of him. He must have cared at one point, but people's veiws on life changed. There is no future is you call him and ask for him back. You will never be happy in a relationship like that, and you will always have to wonder why he is with you. There is a man out there that will make you happy, it will take time to get over this one. Look forward, not backward. Get out and enjoy life. If 1987 is the year you were born, you have plenty of time to find someone to make you happy.
@narabit (2)
• Saudi Arabia
10 Oct 07
Be patient and never try to do a mistake like killing yourself and please try to find another one.
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