Quest

Don't hate yourself. Its counterproductive, it gets you nothing. You have to look inside and remind yourself you are great. If you want to let your hair down do it, if not, then don't. Point is you have to be yourself, and if there is too much of a breach on that then its not really worth it. Of course, if you have no choice but to work like this, then it'll have to do for the time being. Be sure to look for another job though, you shouldn't have to be pinned down to something you don't like.

Well that depends a great deal on why you are full of guilt. If you enjoy your job then why should you feel guilty and full of self-loathing? As far as letting your hair down and "start acting like a girl" never be ashamed of who you are. God made us the way God made us. He never puts any trials in our lives that we cannot handle, only ones that will make us stronger. I spent years trying to be the "strong one" and never letting loose. All it got me was a chemical imbalance and ulcers. If you truly dislike you job and its making you miserable, then yes quit. If you feel that moving is what you really need, then move. Just remember to seriously evaluate the situation, because there is one simple fact to never forget. Where ever you go, there you are. So if the problem is external, then you should leave, but if its something internal then try to find some other method of chaning things. Starting over is hard to do, but i think youll be fine.