Man Rules.....So funny

this is my husband to a tee lol. Except the sports thing, thank goodness he isn't as into sports as most men. we have the toilet seat argument all the time, he doesn't see why it is so hard for me to put it down myself lol. AND the whole come to me if you want me to fix things, not for sympathy, that is something I am still learning lol.

Hi Mgmagana, This was pretty funny! As well as accurate! The only thing I can argue is the toilet seat, my hubby DOES put it back down. I have never since meeting him, even when we didnt live together, have to come behind him and put it back down. Hes gracious there. The rest of this though, pretty much him. He simple, just like most men are, possibly a bit more so than the average man. lol Bay Lay Gray xx

The more of these type things I read, the more I realize how weird my relationship is... *giggles* Honestly, so many of these things just don't apply to my husband, or if they do, are also things that apply to me. For example, I'm the one who doesn't get the color nuances. He's artistic, so he knows all those funny color names. He'll catch himself saying things about colors, or fashion, or whatever, and be like "Wow, that was a gay moment." =p

Hi mgmagana! That is really funny! I even called my husband and have him read it and we are now laughing together. And guess what, I just learned that he really does not mind sleeping in the couch whnever we have a fight because he said that the tv and dvd is there in front of him and keeps him company while I feel so guilty sending him out of the bedroom. hah! Now, he is blushing and laughing so loud because I caught his act! haha..Take care and have a nice day!

Before I begin, you and everyone else should read my gender double standards threads if you want some truth mixed with humor. Now then... 1. Men are NOT mind readers. - Yes. Even if you are trying to be funny its still true. Please don't expect guys to automatically know everything you are thinking. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. - Its sad this is still complained about. Its got some truth to it though. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. - Hey just like women's shopping is like a tornado. Seems very unstoppable and if some poor guy gets in the way he's likely to get crushed. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. - Its truth. There really is no sport there. Otherwise there might be a Pro version of shopping. That's right, I mentioned it! 1. Crying is blackmail. - Quoted for truth, but you people barely know the half of it. You should see real arguments and the horrors of false claims and divorces. Lots of fake blackmail lying and crying going on there. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! - This is very correct, see the mind reader rule. Some obvious hints can work, but your signals may differ from what the guy is thinking/perceiving 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. - To some but not all. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. - Some truth to this. By the way, if a guy complains about his problems to his girl, usually the girl walks out, gets bored or tells him to shut up. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. - While a woman's word doesn't even extend for a 24 hour guarantee. And lord help any guy who tries to point out past comments a girl said. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. - This is a rule you missed Mgma. Its called the Russian Roulette rule. For guys many adult choices are based on Russian Roulette especially relationships. The infamous "does this make me look fat" question is a no-win version of the game (i.e. all six cylinders have a bullet). Meaning no matter how the guy answers the girl is gonna blow his brains away. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one - Needs more depth. Women can take many things not just two ways, but MANY different ways. Even the question "How are you doing" can lead to a 3 hour verbal smackdown. 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. - That'd be nice but some women won't do this. Heck even when some guys take initiative women will still find something or a lot of things to nitpick on. After years/months of it (heck some guys don't tolerate for a second) eventually the guy will do less and less. Either that, our you'll be ignored more and more. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. - Yep, just like guys have to say things once the phone is back on the hook, once you stop gabbing with the girls, etc 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. - Pass. Veto. Abstained from answering. 5th Amendment. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. - This comment fails. I see the world in at least a couple of million colors. And women don't see in that many colors either, its like 32 to 128, all of them crappy. If guys can't identify peach, pumpkin and mauve, then I wonder... can anyone identify chartreuse, harlequin, malachite, azure, celadon, heliotrope, coral... 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. - Don't pretend women don't do the same. Even in bed after the fact... No 5th amendment that time. 1. If we ask what is wrong an d you say! "nothing," We will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. - Another Russian Roulette event. The answer nothing though varies from having 2 to all 6 cylinders in the revolver filled. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. - Is it really that hard... -_- 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .. - Fair enough, but of course certain places require certain attires. Thats for both genders. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf . - Another failure comment. There's plenty to talk about, women choose to not consider it. 1. You have enough clothes. - This can go either way. For one, its good to get clothes from time to time. On the other hand, clothes shopping shouldn't be as often as blinking. I know its not like that, but its a close comparison. 1. You have too many shoes. - Depends. Certainly not an impossibility. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! - I'll admit there was a chuckle here. There are some that try to remain in shape but unfortunately the body doesn't show it. 1. Thank you for reading this. - Don't know how to take the "1" thing, so I'll assume the worse. Personally I think a woman's rules list deserves the 1 since guys are always reduced to 2 (or worse) in a compared relationship.

to freaking funny

As a woman, I have to say that all of these rules are just fine. I guess I am not the typical woman. I don't ask if I look fat in something...I have eyes, I can look in the mirror and tell if I look fat in it. Peach IS a color, but it is a hideous one. My husband agrees on both accounts. You're right, what needs to be said should be said during commercials. That includes when I'm watching Dancing with the Stars, The Bachelor, The Hills, and all of those other shows I love but you think are insanely stupid. If you can watch Family Guy and South Park, I can watch grown women fight over a man they don't even know. I'm totally aware that I have entirely too many shoes, but that doesn't stop me from wanting more. Same with clothes. If you know a better way to do what I am doing, keep it to yourself until I am fully frustrated and ask for your help. Don't try to be macho and do it for me. I don't like that. If I say "nothing" when you ask what is wrong, it's probably because NOTHING is wrong. I'm just in a b*tchy mood for no reason, so, in reality, my answer of "nothing" is a truthful one. I have nothing to be b*tchy about. I just am. And, for me, all football in any shape form or fashion is like the tides. You don't mess with it, and you don't interrupt it. In my relationship, I feel more strongly about this than my husband does.

that is just too darn cute! I love it! To tell you the truth I am married to this man described here. They are very logical for the most part and we are very emotional. Mars and Venus!

I think I receive an email of this before. It made me laugh then, it still makes me laugh now. A whole list that many men can relate to... very original! Thanks for sharing it again. It was fun reading it.

How true this is. I have actually read this one before. I think I got it in an email. But of course it still makes me laugh to read it again.

That's pretty funny. It's also very true. I hear about the clothes and shoes all the time. Some of the others apply too. Thanks for the laugh.