REAL FRIENDS, where are they?

This is called the flow of life. Its nobody’s fault really and it happens to most of us, especially women. It is sad but true. When we are young, our mind is unburdened by practical equations and untainted by pecuniary complications. Its easier to make friends and maintain regular links with them. but as we grow up, our lives are taken up by career, higher studies, family expectations, marriage, kids so on and so forth. Even if we want to, it is not possible to maintain that regular link with our friends and same applies to them too. I have a very very dear friend whom I met in my college days. For 7/8 years we are inseparable. We shared everything in our lives. Then she got married and a few years later I got married too. Communication between us broke up as we became burdened with our personal lives and family expectations. Then came the kids. The last nail in the coffin was a business proposal from her. She is a housewife while I work. She wanted to start a business with me as partner. I was in no position to give the time required, nor am I inclined to business…its just not my cup of tea. This difference of opinion created such a rift between us that today we hardly communicate, except maybe for exchanging new year and festive wishes. She went ahead with the business alone and is doing OK now, but she holds a grudge against me for not helping her while I firmly believe that business is not for me and that business should not come between friends i.e. friendship should be without any strings attached. So you see, its nobody’s fault really that we are no longer that close. These things just happen as we walk along and you should in no way blame yourself for these. For men, it’s a bit easier as they have the freedom of going anywhere and everywhere at a comparatively shorter notice than we women can.

you don't have to be alone friend. Every human has their own ego and try to survive and struggle by him/herself. Maybe it doesn't mean that they don't care about you, but they already have their own problem and keep busy and difficult to share with you. In our age right now, people should be have their own priority and friendship maybe is the second or third priority, so it's not your fault. Right now I only have one best friend, my husband. And others are good friends although we are not always intense communication, but they are still good friends of mine.

I know what you mean. As I have moved from city to city, and place to place, I notice that I have lots friends. But I also think we can make more friends through time, and also make a lot more money. Well Have a good night, and make lots of money!

Feeling lost? Have you ever thought that they were thinking just the same as you? They forget you? Did you remember them? Did you try to reach out for them? Sometimes a path that is unused will soon be having grass along the way. So, before feeling sad, why not try to make the first move and reach out for them... hear them first. Then that would be the time to say if they really abandoned you.

Real friends are those who come and see you not only in good times but most especially in bad times. I also felt that way before. Friends leaving, moving to other places. But I guess, that's how life moves on. Don't blame yourself for those things. it's part of growing. Then you'll know real friends when, after so long, after the distance has separated you, after the long silence, they still come and see you. in my life, I met many bestfriends at different times. elementary, high school, college, and now. but no matter where they are and how long we lost communications, they still come back. let time pass and enjoy meeting new friends. don't feel alone because I'm sure there are people around you who can fill that emptiness. just be open, also. be blessed with more friends!!!!

Friends come and go. Well, most of them. But there's at least one of them who will stick like a brother or sister. What made you think it is your fault? Have you done all your part? Sometimes we think our friends have abandoned us but then they haven't. They are just waiting for us to make the first move or say hello first. Most of the time, friends assume you are fine with your life. Friends may be gifts from God but they are still human. Flawed and egotistic at times. If you want them to know you are fine or not, ask them about themselves first. Maybe they are just waiting for you to ask how they have been doing. Have you grasped every opportunity to be in contact with them? Sometimes we are quite selective, we don't really care about some friends we think who will always there for us. Come to think about it.

The friends I have are since our childhood, though most of us has our own family to feed and responsibilities, we still keep our friendship intact. Though it is true that we don't get to see each other many times, I know that they are still there and will always be a friend. Our relationship was never broken, since it already has a very strong foundation. I guess it's just the way you think about it, no REAL FRIEND will leave and abandon you. Just like us (me and my friends), we just don't expect too much of anything from each other and that's why we are still here for one another.

you do not blame your self these are natural things one day every one let us go away our close friends let us cause these are written very before so be happy make new friend and left them when they left you and dnt be sad when they leave you ok?

Real friends are rare nowadays. I think that friendship nowadays is based on shared interests. Once the shared interest vanishes so does the friend. It is very sad but don't dwell on the sadness. Try to keep busy, get involved in different activities will help you gain many acquaintances. This might be not the thing that you are looking for but I think it is not worth your time to even think about lost friendship. Think about your goals. Enjoy the happiness that you can grasp. Maybe one day, you will be surrounded by as many friends as you wish. No you are not the one to be blamed. It is sometimes a harsh reality. Be positive about yourself and don't let a situation shake your confidence. Best Regards Esther

Indeed childhood friends are very hard to maintain. I'm still friends with some of my high school friends. But elementary? They've probably forgotten me already. People change and naturally drift apart. But thanks to the Internet it's a lot easier to keep in touch nowadays. Have you tried friendster?

There are very few people in this world who actually have those good friends who remain with them through all the years and are there for them through thick and thin. The older you get the less friends it seems like you have. I've always been the person who knows a lot of people that you call friends, but doesn't really have a lot of friends. Those rare people who have those great friends...they're lucky because it's such a rare thing. You're definitely not alone in this.

Hi maple. No, trust me, you are not meant to be alone. No matter how bad is the situation, at least you still have we MyLotters, we will be here always. I understand the feeling when glanced back to our past and friends are no longer here with us. However, being faithful to our friendship is not something bad or wrong. You are a good friend, so don't blame yourself. I mean it's just that your friends don't know how to appreciate and they will definitely regret for that. Just keep walking, fate will bring you to the right friendship! Cheer and stay cool!

Meh, I had a lot of friends in college too. I'm done with college and don't see my friends anymore, but I know that if I go to visit them in their current areas, I'll have a place to crash and a lot to catch up on. Humans are ultimately all alone.

I am really surprised by your question .I have had lots of friends who have helped me in all sorts .Though their were some misunderstandings in teen time.Now I have developed empathy on others which has helped me to understand the feeling of others.Proabaly its the time for every one to realise the meaning of it in a greater depth.Dear maple_kisses dont be perturbed by this simple things.Enjoy your life .You are not alone we are all here for you .

Hi maple_kisses! They say that nothing is permanent, only change. I have came to realized that no matter how much you try to hold on and care for something or someone, soon you need to let go. I have taken so much care for my freindships, we satrted being friends since elementary til our married years but things happens that are beyond our control. People change and I thought we are an exception, our frienship came to an end when our life status changed. She became a politician's wife and she cahnged so much that I hardly can't stand her ways. So, i just let go and went on with my life. I still miss her but I guess she is more like a stranger to me. But in time there will be other friends whom we will meet, some will stay a little longer and some will have to on their way..but one thing you should always remember, the love and lessons you have learned from them will always make you a better person. Things happen for a reason as they say. Just be patient and you will be surrounded again by new friends. Take care and have a nice day.

To some extent, you are to be blamed for losing friends. Because.... so many reasons are there. You see, first thing why do you feel that you have lost them? Just because the do not meet you, they do not talk to you... May be they are busy with more important jobs, may be they are not able to find time for you because of their own limitations... I said that you are to blame yourself because your thinking is in wrong direction. Secondly why you are alone, if time permits you, why don't you make new friends?