Reaching Goals in Life
By byfaithonly
@byfaithonly (10698)
United States
October 16, 2007 5:28am CST
Ok, this may sound strange but this was not the discussion I was going to post today but while responding to some friend's discussions I noticed my 'count' of how many discussions I've responded to here - only 91 more and I'll be at 4000 - LOL I remember when my goal at myLot was to reach 100 and get my star. This got me thinking about goals - ones I've had over my life time and ones I've achieved.
When I was in school my main goal was to graduate from high school - I achieved that goal but was then let down because I didn't have that goal to work towards.
I eventually had the goal of being a good mother - I thought I achieved that but then my kids would say otherwise so again I was/am a bit disappointed.
Now I have the goal of getting a business up and running. My concern is if/when it is successfull will I once again be disappointed? In looking at all the different goals I've had in my life, I didn't include them all here, every time there seems to be a bit of disappointment once I've reached my goal.
So, should I not set goals for my life? Do you set goals only to be disappointed or are you thrilled when you reach a goal you've set for your life? If you don't have or set goals why don't you?
My latest goal - Nature Inspired Handcrafts
12 people like this
24 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
16 Oct 07
Hi Faith good to see you again
I never set Goals any more like you I have been let down to many times and the main one that stopped them is my Illness
I just take every Day as it comes now and that way I can not fail any more
But I am sure that your Business will be fine and that you will do well
As for failing as a Mother I don't think so you can only do the best and so much and the rest is up to the Kids to
Hugs
2 people like this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
16 Oct 07
Too funny - I think at the same time you were responding to my discussion I was responding to one of yours :)
I am honestly thinking about doing the same as you and not setting goals - I like your way of saying it 'take every day as it comes'.
As for the 'mother goal' I think one of my biggest problems is I am a closet perfectionist - my kids should think I'm the greatest mother in the world but they don't so I feel like I failed. You are right though - I did/do the best I could/can and no one is perfect, I need to remind myself of that more.
2 people like this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
16 Oct 07
LOL very true dear friend - I think I'm just extremely tired this morning and feeling a bit on the negative side. I hate it when I wake at 3 a.m. and can't go back to sleep :(
On a brighter note: I think I will try setting smaller goals for a time and see if that cheers me up some (much easier to achieve). Hey I did it already - took son to school then went to town and got a few groceries. I saved almost $10 by using some coupons that had collected in my purse but I kept forgetting to use... Goal to use the coupons before they expired - goal accomplished :)
2 people like this
@afternoontea (1005)
• Indonesia
16 Oct 07
I was setting my own goal before and set the time limit too, but later I found out that I become too obsessed with the goal and forget to enjoying my life. That goal related to my job.. I do reach some of my goal while missing the other part of my enjoyment and hobbies, like watching movies or reading or making any craft like I ussualy did before.
Now I dont really care about any goal. I enjoy myself and let it flow.. I do whatever I like to do and trying to have fun with whatever I do, then the goal will come itself..
2 people like this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
16 Oct 07
That's a good way of thinking and it does seem that different things work equally well for different people. I too love watching movies and reading books but have not found time to do either the last few months.
1 person likes this
@gberlin (3836)
•
16 Oct 07
I set small goals that I need to accomplish each day. I have reached my goals for education and career. At age 51 my thoughts of retirement are more often. So my large goal is saving money for retirement. I think that once you reach a goal it is important to have another goal. There always seems to be a let down once you accomplish a goal because now you have nothing to spur you on. Selecting another goal as soon as possible will help you move on and feel like you have something to work towards.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
16 Oct 07
I can see where this is very important and for the most part I think I've done that through my life. I think where part of my problem is that I've set several 'large' goals for myself and on nasty rainy days like today I wonder if I will ever achieve those goals - thinking maybe I would be better off NOT setting those goals. I do think I've already today started trying to set some smaller goals and as I mentioned above yippy - I've already achieved on goal and do feel much better about it.
1 person likes this
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
16 Oct 07
If we don't set goals, we tend to float through life, just going to work, coming home, going to work, coming home and wait to see if anything will happen. Before you know it, time has passed and you will be looking back wondering where your life went and wishing you had accomplished more.
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
16 Oct 07
Good to see you back.
I never set just one goal, I set multiple goals and 1 year plans and 5 year plans and 10 year plans...this way it is more difficult to get into a situation where I have nothing to strive for.
For example..a few years ago, I had a good job and my goals were based on that job and income - retirement, vacations, home repairs etc. I lost the job -- I did just return on Sunday from one of the goals...went and vacationed with my son in Disney - that trip was on the 10 year plan. Now, I am studying and have a 3 year plan...which will double my income and get me back on plan. Of course the retirement plan has changed..but that is life.
1 person likes this
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
16 Oct 07
My goal here in mylot is to reach the pay-out of $10 and now I am exceeding. When it comes to life, my goal or my plan is to save money for a mini business. Actually, honestly i don't have any business in my mind, and i still hasn't save any money so I am quite disappointed with my plans. I know i have to reach this goal but i don't know when and where will i start. I think I am running out of time.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
16 Oct 07
Oh dear you are still young - I know a lady who was a student, wife, mother, missionary (in that order) her goal in life was to to serve God (which she did and does daily) but to also write a book about her husband and their lives as missionaries. She is nearly finished with the book but not quit. She's 90 some years old and still works on the book daily.
2 people like this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
16 Oct 07
I don't understand why you would be disappointed in reaching your goals. In my opinion you should be proud to have reached each one. Maybe its like Christmas. We spend months getting ready and we build up high expectaions only to have the day come and go so fast that all that works seems usless. Maybe the imprtant thing is the working and planning for the goal. i had an aunt that tols me she always wanted a drysink and she had to plan and save and figure out how to get the money for it and when she finssly got it wasn't as much fun to have as the planning and working for it was.
If I were you as a mother I wouldn't listen to my kids onn wether or not I was a good mother. What do they know? After all kids are selfish and want their own way. the proof in the pudding is when they are full adults and have kids of their own. I'll bet you are a great Mom.
1 person likes this
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
16 Oct 07
Hi there, Faith. It's been a long time. Haven't been on computer much. I have set goals throughout my life and managed to accomplish many of them. Of course there are going to be those that are not attainable but it's the fact that we don't give up. Just redeeming your store coupons before expiration is a 'big deal'..!
One of the biggest/hardest goals I've ever had and continue to have is helping CJ in school. With his having Autism I at first thought school was going to be difficult for him; that he'd barely move on through each grade, if that. But, with God's help we sit down after school each day and He has taught me how to teach CJ so that he retains what he learns; or at least a great deal of it. He's getting A's and B's and his 'regular' 4th grade teacher's told me that he is her best student..!
The point is, as others have said throughout this discussion is to never give up. Even the smallest goals set and met are a great. When achieving one feel good about it and move on to the next and keep working on a previous one that has yet to be attained.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
21 Oct 07
I don't set goals. Any dreams I ever had and shared were always shot down in flames.
When I tried to go it alone in business, I was lied to, stolen from and generally cheated. The people I've associated with and relied and depended upon have always let me down. No-one has ever been there for me.
I'm no longer disappointed when things don't work out because I take each day as it comes and I try to get through the pain and discomfort to find happiness and achieve the little things.
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
16 Oct 07
If we didn't have goals how would we know if we accomplished anything. I like to set a goal and not only set it but also set a time on when that goal will be reached. That doesn't mean that I get down in the dumps if it isn't reached on the time limit I put. It just means that I try to reach the goal in a certain time. If I don't I keep reaching for it. I always am thrilled when I reach a goal. It means I have accomplished a task that I have reached. And I am proud of the goals that I have reached.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
16 Oct 07
Now that is the words of a positive thinking person :) Love ya dear - feeling good about yourself whether you reach those goals or not is very very important.
1 person likes this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
16 Oct 07
I raised by a mom that said that if life throws lemons at you make lemonade. She not only used that saying but incorporated it into her life. I always remember Mom as being very upbeat and always has a smile on her face. Her eyes are always sparkling and as I have told her the sparkle comes from within her and shines out of her eyes. She is 86 years old and four months ago had bad back surgery and than a month after that she had her colon removed but through all this the sparkle hasn't left her eyes. She has been a goal maker and has succeeded reaching most of her goals. The goals that she didn't reach she just throws them to the side without a second glance back and reachs for another goal. She has never gotten down in the dumps about not reaching a goal. She told me one time when she sets a goal she puts Gods hands on the goal along with her own and along with the work she has to do to accomplish the goal God is always working along side of her to help her reach it. If she doesn't reach it she told me she always tells God that she realizes that there was some reason that he felt that goal was not meant for her to accomplish. She is still working on getting all the way better but the smile and the sparkle in her eyes have never left her.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
16 Oct 07
Oh your mother sounds like a wonderful wonderful lady - I wish I had been raised with more of her attitude in my life. I've heard the saying about lemons a million times but never actually known someone who put it into practice. You and your mother are an inspiration to me right along with God :)
1 person likes this
@Impervious (1147)
• United States
5 Nov 07
Hi great post.
I would like to take a minute to remind you of all of the thousands of say mini goals that it took for you to accomplish the larger ones like graduating school. How many of those were disappointing. Not too many right.
I absolutely believe in setting goals and that is part of why I have not been on here much.
Keep plugging away it gets better and most of all have
FAITH
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
21 Oct 07
I have set goals in my life and there have been times that I have felt very let down when I met them or if I failed at them. I do set a goal here every day as to how many posts I would like to do and I am thrilled when I meet that goal and sad when I do not. I guess it just depends on the goal.I would suggest that you set some smaller goals and reward yourself when you meet that goal and I think you will feel better about it.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
12 Jan 08
I have a goal set now, to save enough money to get a background check so I can apply for a teachers aid..
Usually I set goals and they rarely come to pass, I am praying that this one goes through..
@cefaz_21 (2596)
• Philippines
17 Oct 07
good to see you back ms. faith!
I have set goals in my life in its different pahse too,when I was akid I used to set goals on my studies,like I wanted to graduate with honors when I was in high school because I don't wanna be seating on the last row during graduation day..
When I was newly graduate,I set goals about finding such and such kind of job..
and then is et goals of age when to get married which I failed because I only got married last year at 33 years old..and the age I set for myself to finally settle is 27..
But now a days, I have not been setting major goals in life,it's as if Im taking it as it is, of course I still have dreams but that's only dreams..and dreams are different in goals,because when you set goals,you'll work hard to get it..
I don't know,maybe the maturing part has to do with it..
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
18 Oct 07
No it doesn't sound strange, it sounds great and encouraging, I'm still trying to get to 500 lol, but I know that had I not been so sick I would have, but I'm still plodding along. I have gone back to doing my handcrafts that I put aside a long while ago and they are giving me a lot of strength to see the beauty in your own creations. I do fine crochet and knitting pictures onto childrens jersys and it has brought a lot of people into my life because of it. I would be interested in knowing what Nature Inspired Handcrafts are though, and would love to see a photo of your work. God Bless and keep up the good work in whatever is your goal.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
17 Oct 07
Good to see you back..as I haven't seen you around much lately. First I think it's important for all of us to set goals...it gives us reason to get up each day to do something that will make us one step further in reaching our goals...It's never too late to set goals either...I too have my own idea of a business that I want to run...an on-line photography business to sell my work directly to potential clients that may use my work for publication usage..and it's taking a heck of a lot longer than planned..It's like gee..I want the business to be running NOW..but if I were to "present" myself to the world without real planning than I know I'd be doomed to failure... Yes, I've had disappointments when my original goals and dreams didn't come true, but it wasn't for the lack of trying, but having really weird detours and set-backs in my personal life that put a damper on things...and who knows,...maybe that particular goal wasn't really meant for me anyway..but I never give up to reach new goals...guess it's downright stuborness on my part....LOL
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
18 Oct 07
I think that's what makes life so interesting. Once we acheive one goal we set another one to go for. The thing of it is we have to set those goals to be within our limits. If they are set too high there's a greater chance that we won't make it. I try not to set mine to high and I'm pretty good at reaching them.
@topei12 (272)
• Philippines
20 Oct 07
I think we should set goals, it's important we do to keep our path guided. Sometimes our goals our too complicated that we find them hard to achieve. And there are goals that won't happen in an instant or at our expected time. Like what you mentioned about being a mother, sometimes kids really lack a sense of appreciation in what parents do and realize it later in life. We achieved our goal if we think we gave it our best!
@smiggy (18)
• Canada
16 Oct 07
I'm extremely thrilled when I reach a goal and I achieve it. I have many little goals and many life long goals and it's amazing what you feel when you accomplish it. Especially if it's something important like your career and what-not. Maybe you shouldn't look at the pessimistic side of reaching your goals. Focus on the positive! And if it worries you a whole lot, just better yourself. Make it a challenge. That's what keeps me going..
