To forgive or not to forgive...
@girlgonefishing (2174)
United States
October 25, 2007 12:57pm CST
I had someone do something horrible to me and my friends say to forgive. Well, I forgave and he did it again. According to my religious friends, the bible says we must forgive. Well, I forgave and it didn't get rid of the evil. This person keeps me from being able to visit with my relatives because of their presence. My friends say to ignore him and go anyway. Do I forgive again? I just don't know what to do. My grandfather, who this person kept me from age 8 until I grew up and moved away, will be 93 next year and I can't even go see him. This person lives next door!! I live in Florida and in order to visit my Grandfather in Mississippi, I have to drive to Tennessee to pick up my Uncle, drive to Mississippi to visit and then drive back to Tennessee to drop off my Uncle and then drive back to Florida. Even with my Uncle there with me I am still on pins and needles the whole time. The way my Uncle helps me is, he visits with the person who hurt me so that he won't go to my Grandfathers house while I am visiting. Am I being stupid? Am I going to hell because I can't forgive? Should I just forgive and try again. Hint, this man should be on death row for what he has done to me so, no, it's not a little thing.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@stella_76 (75)
• Philippines
26 Oct 07
This person must have done bad thing to you. Yes we should forgive person for the wrongs that they have done and then move on. But it seems this person has not ask for forgiveness because he's still is not being nice to you. Then the right thing to do is to FORGET about the person so you can and FORGIVE only if he repents of his sin. Otherwise, he will think that the thing he has done was alright with you.
@girlgonefishing (2174)
• United States
26 Oct 07
That's my hope. I hope that someday, maybe even on his deathbed, he will repent. I hope that not only will he repent but, also, confess to others.
1 person likes this
@cielicesky (71)
• Philippines
26 Oct 07
Forgiving is not as easy as we want to. It doesn't even come in our hearts as fast as we wish. But the best thing that you can do if you can't feel forgiveness is to pray for it. I'm not trying to be sounding spiritually, but it really works. It also burdens u if an anger seats in your heart. So, try not to think often about it so that you can forgive that person shortly.
@girlgonefishing (2174)
• United States
26 Oct 07
Believe me, I pray every single day. Not for myself but, for anyone else that he may have hurt or may be hurting now. I never ask God to forgive him, that's his job.
1 person likes this
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
It would best if you forgive, since that is the proper thing to do. however, it is up to you if you'd let this person harm you again. As they say, "it's easy to forgive but not to forget."
We are still humans, we are bound to do things that we think would be better for us.
@girlgonefishing (2174)
• United States
26 Oct 07
Us and the others around us :-)
1 person likes this
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
26 Oct 07
WEll, I believe that before you learn to forgive, you must learn to accept. Acceptance of what already happened is the key to live your life. As you have said, what he did is not a little thing. Then why do you allow him to stop you from living your life again. You DONT have to forgive him, if you dont want, if you think you are not ready. But I believe that he should not be the reason of you not visiting your grandfather. Dont make him make you suffer again and again, by not being able to do things that you want to do. Life do not stop with one mistake, with one fall. Have courage to stand and face him, and let him see that you are a strong person. Try to win the battle for yourself,pick up the pieces again... start new life. And ACCEPT the past that you can never change... Dont let the past haunt you, dont let him stop you, live your life once more. Just keep your distance in him and keep yourself safe.
@swetha2rani (341)
• India
25 Oct 07
Well don't understand what exactly the person has done, but with the way you are expressing it, I feel surely it is something worse done to you. Just stay calm and think b4 you take any step. Their might be so many things stated in Bible but all you need to know is whats good for you and your family, and what is not. Just try to visit you grandfather coz' he is more important to you than anyone else, who has brought you up. In such an age a person would always wish to be surrounded by his loved ones. Try to do whatever you feel is right. Ignore anyone who just feels you are wrong, if your heart says you have not done anything wrong and whatever step you taking is for everyone's good, just do it, dont wait.
Be Happy!!!!!
@girlgonefishing (2174)
• United States
26 Oct 07
I am happy....except for when I can't go back to Mississippi to see my relatives whom I finally just reconnected with after all these years. I am happy....as long as I don't have to see him. I am happy....as long as I don't sleep. :-)
@girlgonefishing (2174)
• United States
26 Oct 07
Thank you!! I'm going fishing today. That always helps.
:-) Wish me luck.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
26 Oct 07
As the truth goes, if God can forgive then who are we to not forgive? Forgiving is one thing however forgetting it totally another. Forgiving someone doesn't mean we have to become friends again or even act as if we know them other than to remember what he/she has done to you.
I'm wondering if your grandfather knows what he's done to you. If he did, I don't think he'd allow him to visit with him anymore not alone with you there.
Another question, what about going higher up such as the FBI and telling your case? You might get somewhere then.
As for getting your uncle, can't he meet you somewhere inbetween the two places so you don't have to drive all that way? Grant you, your uncle is doing you a favor but he can make it a bit easier for you by meeting you somewhere.
