Divorce

Thank you so much mamasan for the links. I had no idea where to even begin. This will be the first time getting one if he does go through with the filling so it's all new to me. I just want to make sure that I am not going to be out in the cold especially if I do get custody of the kids. I know he will have to provide child support but I don't know if I will be entitled to the alimony. I thought the days of alimony were gone. If I could get it than that would be great!

The days of alimony are not gone. It all depends on how long you have been married, are you working and so on. The courts will not allow him to leave you high and dry, but it is your job to let them know what kind of financial trouble you are in. Why is he filing for a divorce anyway if you don't mind my asking? There are many things you can do to protect yourself, mainly if you go through family mediation which you will because you share children, don't keep your mouth shut, you definitely want to express your need for support and that he is leaving you high and dry, fight for custody of the kids! The courts are very sympathetic to the mother. If he does file and you are in a pickle, you need to go to your county assistance office and get every kind of assistance possible to help you through this because if he does want the kids, he can say that your not working and have no way of supporting your children, so you want to have a game plan, it doesn't hurt to call and ask questions. They sometimes have job training programs, schooling to teach you a trade, they pay for your child care and help you financially until you get on your feet. So, don't be afraid to ask. The internet can be your friend. Just start googling these things that you need. I would also suggest you look up North Carolina family law regulations and familiarize yourself with them. Don't let your husband scare you. Be proactive and learn all you can! I learned the hard way my first divorce. I walked away with nothing, not even child support because I had a dummy for a lawyer.

Thanks very much for the best response rating. I am very honored and appreciate it! I hope everything is ok with you.

You and I are alike in the whole driving thing. I'm 25 and I don't drive. I am really scared every time I tried. I'm going to go get my drivers permit again and try again but my husband and I have managed without me driving. I find other ways around for one we live close to town and so I can walk to a lot of places. My husband has been very patient with me and we don't even have kids and I'm a work at home wife. All the excuses he gave you are so weak. You deserve better. I think there is much more to it. He must have a girlfriend or someone he wants to be a girlfriend. If that is the best he can do you will have no problem getting alimony and the children and full child support. The only problem is I do know that North Carolina is a hard state to fight for all of that. New York you would have no problems. Stay strong for your children. They will need you since daddy's a jerk. Don't let him kick you out of the house. You must stay or else you will lose more. It will be uncomfortable but if you leave it will give him the advantage in the courtroom. I have a friend who is going through a divorce now and she has had to continue living in the same house as her soon to be ex or else she may lose her house. I will pray for you.

He hasn't been happy with me in years ... he says I have no respect for him because when he asks me to do something and I don't always do it. One of the reasons he is unhappy with me is because I don't keep the house as clean as he would like it to be. I do clean its just not as clean as he wants it to be. Another reason is that I don't know how to drive and he is the one that has to run around and go food shopping, go to the bank, go to the post office, run the kids to their doc appts etc. and he is so mad at me for not wanting to learn. He works and then he comes home and has to do all the running around and he has had it. I am afraid to learn how to drive. It is not easy living in an area where you need a car. I took some lessons when I was 15 but I was scared and stopped learning. So basically his ground is that I have no respect for him and that makes him unhappy and he wants out.

he is a jerk and he wants to leave me because the house is not super clean and all the running around he has to do. It IS absurd.

Thanks for the advice carol. He doesn't give me money unfortunately. I will check into the shelters and human services. I need to be prepared when I am served.

Can't move in with my mom, she has a 3 room apt that she shares with my aunt. There is no room. My cousin "D", she lives with a male roomate in a 3 room apt. so no room there. My brother "P" he shares an apt with another guy so thats out. None of them have any money either, they are living check to check so they cant help. I will just have to do it on my own somehow. Would rather not burden anyone if I could help it.

Thank you for your support Ja. I am glad you were able to get through your situation. If you can do it so can I :).