I work two jobs to make extra money.

Yes I do feel guilty but everyone needs a break so do not feel Guilty Gerty as I think you work more then enough hours and you need time for you and your Family

Yes, I have this same problem. It used to be that the boss would go so far as to drive to my house and knock on my door if i chose not to pick up my phone...thanx to caller ID. I was always torn because of course, I could use the money but then again...i do need some time with my kids and a bit of personal time is always good. Now I just say no...simple. I don't offer up explantions...just NO..I can not!! Yes, I do feel a twinge of guilt but it is small. In 15 years, I have only called in on short notice once and that was during a major flood and I had no choice! I have covered and given up precious time with my children, cancelled dates and other plans just to accomodate the most foolish excuses you can imagine for calling out. I got fed up. I have not had a raise in 9 years. I no longer feel guilty at all.

A lot of my friends and family members do this because they need the extra money to buy what they want. One of my friends and her whole family were all working two or three jobs to save up money for a new house. They did. They bought one in Diamond Bar. They conserved on everything just to buy what they wanted.

That is already too many hours of work. They should not even be requesting that you do an extra shift, if they are aware of what work hours you have already put in. Do not feel guilty, as you are not good to anyone if you collapse from work exhaustion. I just read an article that says Americans work some of the longest hours in the world. Here are some tips I found that are signs that you are working too much: You literally dream about working. You check your work email even when on vacation. You answer your home or cell phone as if you are still at work, such as "This is COMPANY XYZ. How can I assist you?" You have your hands waiting for the sink to automatically turn on, and you are wondering why the toilet has not already automatically flushed itself when you are at home and neither are automatic at home. Your spouse or significant other threatens to leave you. Your pets won’t play with you. Your kids are shy with you. You dial "9" first when calling from your home or cell phone.

When I was working, I did the same thing, pull everyone else's shift for what ever reason but then there were times when I had to say no because of a preplanned engagement. I can't cover for everybody every time for I needed time for myself too.

There are times I do still feel guilty saying no and there are times its hard. I am improving though, because in life and in several cases 'no' is required. Its good to help out, to do favors, to fill in for others, but you have to watch out for yourself as well Gerty. It does you and everyone else no good if you exert yourself beyond your capabilities, that includes work, chores and other duties be they required or volunteered. You have a right to rest up and refuse especially if you are feeling strained in some way. I don't think you are being "whiny" at all. To tell the truth, I too find myself stretched thin at times. 55-65+ hours here and thats without my independent work and my time to time volunteering. Then there is also mylot, I'm here almost everyday either posting my opinion or more commonly answering the questions of friends and members. I'll still continue though. But if you need a break Gerty, take one.

Thats an great effort.. Wish you all the best.. Work and Earn More..

You need to rest too!! You are already doing enough for 2 people. You should not feel guilty. I know, since I have a child with a disability, that they need someone there, but you will be no good to anyone if you let yourself get too run down. Enjoy Sunday, let someone else pick up the hours.

I feel guilty for now wanting to work the weekends. We do need the money and my job requires that I work the weekend hours. But, I really wish I could spend more time at home on the weekends. If someone were to ask me to work on my weekend off I wouldn't hesitate to say no and would not feel guilty over it. Your personal time should be treasured as your time. We do need to focus on ourselves more too.

I hope you don't feel guilty too long. I'd hate for them to get the idea they could take advantage of you. I have felt guilty before on something similar. Not your situation, but a circumstance that reminds me of yours. I do feel bad, then I get mad at myself for feeling bad!

Sweets...do not feel guilty.. If you were working 65-70 at the same job you would be getting overtime pay and the way it is now you are being an enabler for people that are not responsible.. I used to work like that all the time but it was one job so I did get ot..I wore myself out and ended up on ssd due to my back issues,fibromyalgia,cfs,ibs and more..If you need extra money after your first job do something at home.I am and it is working well..I am promoting environmental issues which I care deeply about and making some money too. Like I said don't feel bad..when we let others take advantage of us we are encouraging bad behavior.That's not good for anyone! oxxoxoxoxo

Eeerie.. when your employer is trying to squeeze and bully you, beyond the limits, then there is nothing wrong in saying a no, to your boss. I always do it, without any speck of hesitation, when my boss tries to exploit me, saying that, hey... come one, only you can do it, you work below your capabalities.." Dont hesitate to say No when you cant do it. Have you read the Book " DONT SAY YES, WHEN YOU WANT TO SAY NO" By Norman Vincent pele. Take care GardenGerty.:)

I don't feel a bit guilty, but in truth I have had some jobs where it really wasn't allowed to say no, and just as you say the bosses took advantage of their ability to bully workers into pushing beyond reasonable limits. At one place we were already doing 9 hour shifts and they had what pretty much amounted to mandatory overtime on Saturday and Sunday. Then they pushed it up to 10 hours/day but gave us Fridays off. Then they wanted us to do overtime on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The pay was phenomenal, but one cannot keep that pace up forever. They paid us double time and a half for working some of the holidays (like Christmas Eve), but as most of the legal holidays in the US are now celebrated on Fridays anyway, they only paid part of the O/T for those because they were technically on our day off anyway. At least I didn't have to answer the phone there! I had an office job once where we worked so much overtime that I started answering my home phone with the office greeting. No bigge, it was usually my boss calling anyway....can you come in early?

I don no quite understand,but i think you mean you have to do two jobs at the same time.

I don't feel guilty about saying no nowadays but I used to have a real problem with it. I was one of these people that would agree to do something and then moan about doing it to anyone who would listen because I didn't really want to lol. Some people (particularly employers) are good at making people feel guilty for saying no but I don't succumb to that sort of emotional blackmail any more. Of course it's still the case that sometimes I may find it more difficult than others to say no but as long as I'm sure of my own reasons for refusing I will do it. You also make a good point when you say you are enabling the powers that be not to solve the problem. As long as people cover they won't try to find a long-term solution to the problem of understaffing.

I remember when I worked a job that I was being called in alot on my days off. I usually did not go in, but if I needed the money bad enough I'd do it. It's hard to work ALL the time. Right now, I'm a full-time CPA so I know my hours are way longer during Feb-April but it's only a few months so I deal with it. Plus, I really enjoy the work so it's not bad at all. I also have a part-time business out of the house, where I make my own hours. Yesterday was a prime example of not working if I didn't want to. I did have some people I wanted to follow-up with, but I spent the time with my son instead. It's great having that flexibility!! Remember - you have to take time for yourself, otherwise what are you doing all this for???

I can understand your dilema here. It is hard to refuse, specially when you are helping some disable people. But we also have our limitations, so sometime we have to say no. Don't fell guilty about it. I really apriciate your hard work, your are working a lot. You need some time for yourself too, and need some rest.

I don't feel guilt of saying "no". As i have learning that first i should take care of my health then only i can help others. So if something not support my health or hamper my health then there nothing wrong to say "no". Although if i feel well with the work i also like to support my team and my organisation.