Update on my tough love with 18 year old daughter
By terri0824
@terri0824 (5054)
United States
November 8, 2007 11:08am CST
First of all I want to thank everyone that have had myself and my daughter in your thoughts and prayers.
It was the most difficult decision that I have ever had to make. But God has been with me through it all. She is currently living with my brother and his wife. She is detoxing off of m_e_t_h and other drugs. She is living 35 miles away in a new environment. The environment she had created for herself was nothing but bad news. Believe me I am still furious, because she knew I didn't allow pot smoking in my home, nor dealing. She did it both and also also smoked m-e-t-h in my home.
I took her some of her belongings last night and she is looking better. Her thought processess are beginning to become clearer. She has a plan layed out for herself. She hasn't given my brother and his wife the first bit of trouble. She is helping around their home following rules.
For this I want to give God praises and thank him in advance for what he has already done and for what he will do through her.
No, I am not allowing her to come back home. She will be working on getting a job and finding a place to live as soon as she get her GED.
So have you ever had to use tough love or know someone that has had to use tough love? What got you through it? What were the results of using tough love?
3 people like this
7 responses
@laurika (4532)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I had to read at first your previous post , because I miss it before. I am sure it was very tough decision, but i am glad your daughter is doing better and hope one day she would appreciate what her mum did for her. It looks like you save her life. I have to have make tough decision in my life too, but it was worth it. Sometimes we just don't have choice and have to do it. But i believe you will evertyhing will be just fine. It just want a time.
@terri0824 (5054)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Yes, she was headed down a bad road really fast. And though it was hard, I believe I made the best decision that I could make for both of us. Thanks for your support.
1 person likes this
@terri0824 (5054)
• United States
27 Dec 07
As of today, she is 2 months clean off of m e t h. She has been at my home for about 2 weeks and will be going to another one of my brother's home this weekend, with the plan to return to school to get her diploma. She still has a long way to go....but with God's help we will all get through this.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
30 Dec 07
Praise God, and I will Pray and believe God for great things to come from this in 2008. I am sure this is the hardest decision that you have ever had to make, but I know God is in control, and good things will come from this.
All you can be is supportive for her, and Pray that he will continue to help her and show her what she needs to do in her life, and when the time is right then it will be up to her from here. Would Love to hear updates when you have time.
@terri0824 (5054)
• United States
30 Dec 07
Thank you very much. I had her home for about two weeks and just took her to another brother and his wife's last night which lives about 70 miles from me. The plan is for her to finish her senior year and get her diploma. Just last night on the drive up, she said, "this is my opportunity to get my act together." Not exactly in those words, but I knew what she meant. I will keep you posted with any other updates as they arise.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
9 Nov 07
You and your daughter have been on my mind so I am so glad I came across this update. I know the road ahead is still long but at least she is headed in the right direction. I knew from the start you'd done the right thing and this just verifies it. Thank you for letting us know!
I've never had to do something like this although I did have the job of grounding my step-son last night...not exactly fun but he got a slap on the wrist in my opinion. I would have been a lot tougher if his dad would have backed me up on it.
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Well considering my s/o let his son go bowling last night and stay out until 11:00 instead of 10:00 like we'd agreed, bring his girlfrind here to stay the night AND get his playstation back (plus s/o gave him gas money because he said he needed it...the kid has a job and was supposed to pay for that himself) my small bit of sucess was completely undermined just because s/o would rather be a pushover than deal with his son acting like any other grounded teenager. I just worry that someday I WILL be in the exact position you were in if we don't work as a team to get this boy under control...
@terri0824 (5054)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Thank you for your support. Yes, I know it is a long tough road, but at least I have a start in a positive direction.
Sometimes I wonder if it is easier to be alone doing the disciplining, or be with someone that don't back you up. Neither in my opinion!
@BlueStarMom1 (931)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Dear friend, I am so glad to hear that she is doing better. I sounds like your brother and wife may be the best thing for her right now. She can't play them like she can Mom and sometimes it take an outside source to get through. I will keep you and her both in my prayers and lets hope she sticks with her plans. You just can never give up on them. Yes I have had to get tough with the boys before and it is rough but sometimes you just have to do it to be a good parent. Hang in there hon. Hugs
1 person likes this
@terri0824 (5054)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Thank you so very much for the prayers. I truly believe in the power of prayer. I am standing strong in my faith and believing that she will become the woman God intends her to be.
@terri0824 (5054)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Thank you very much. The discussion before appears at the bottom of this discussion, I had to tell my 18 year old daughter not to come back home. Yes, I am glad things are going better for her.
@terri0824 (5054)
• United States
18 Mar
Gosh, that seems like a lifetime ago...we are in a better place than we were then....but it was many ways of rough and a stint in jail. We now live in the country with a driveway separating us. She's been in a good place for about five years now. She has been married about 10 years with 4 children and several step children.
1 person likes this
