My son has a fit everytime his father and i kiss....
@princessmom1011 (719)
United States
November 12, 2007 3:36pm CST
Everytime my husband and i kiss my 7yr old has a fit he doesnt want me kissing his father and im not talking about french kisses im talking about even little pecks in general. for instance...
yesterday we were all out and about and his father dropped me off at the store entrance and he was going to park the truck well we kissed before i got out of the car and my son was so mad by it he jumped out started punching and kicking the truck then he threw himself in the middle of the parking lot screaming and kicking i was furios and embarrased he then proceeded to do this throughout the store for 40 min calling me ugly telling me he wish he had a different mother that hed rather his father and i fight then kiss cause he thinks its gross.
i try to talk to him calmly to see why he reacts so and all i get is that its gross and he rather his dad kiss someone else or we just fight so we arent lovey dovey. this not only infurates me but it hurts my feelings . has anyone else had a child react this way???? if so how did you handle it. and i will say before you answer that im not willing to give up showing my husband affection especially since my son will allow anyone else to do so just not me! thank you in advance for your responses!
4 people like this
9 responses
@Wisteria (100)
• Canada
12 Nov 07
Who is he mad at? You, his father or both?
Now, I'm not a psychologist or anything, but it sounds like your son might possibly have an Oedipus Complex.
Basically, it's when the child feels like he is competing for his mother's affection with his father.
Maybe you should show your son more affection? Hugging him more and telling him you love him, maybe then he'd be more comfortable with displays of affection.
2 people like this
@princessmom1011 (719)
• United States
12 Nov 07
its actually the opposite he is mad at me!! he doesnt want his dad showing me any affection even if my husband and i are having a conversation he will but in and say " daddy come play with me, lets watch a movie" his father can show anyone affection or give time to BUT me. i am as affection with my son as he wants me to be but he tends to be less affection when it comes to me im not sure why .
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
12 Nov 07
Oh my goodness, how strange is that, I have never heard of this type of thing before, I hope this id not the start of some form of jealousy, you know how they say kids can have a certain close feeling with one of their parents which I think is quite normal but I don't think this behaviour is some how...I hope you can sort it out...
@princessmom1011 (719)
• United States
12 Nov 07
Thats what i was thinking i would find it normal if he directed his jealousy the other way or if it was his sister behaving like this on behalf of her father but im not sure what this is all about and even now his dad is at work and i tried talking to him about it and he got all mad, whiny and ran in his room and slammed his door! im at a loss . thank you for your response
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
13 Nov 07
Wow! I hope he outgrows it. Many kids have issues cause they dont understand the relationships of adults. With some it is a kind of jealousy cause mommy is affectionate with another adult. I would say that you all need to find a way to sit down and find out why he is having the feelings and how you can reassure him that he is loved and there is nothing wrong with the mom and dad relationship. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@princessmom1011 (719)
• United States
14 Nov 07
Thank you for your input! im thinking that this is indeed something he will outgrow due to the fact he has voiced its just plain and simple gross and hed rather we kiss on the cheek if we have to kiss ! which i can handle the cuddie stage but not the jealousy rage!
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
13 Nov 07
It's a phase. All kids go through it, but his reaction does seem extreme. Our kids love it when my partner and I kiss. Naturally, they want to join in too! lol. I'm not sure how you can fix the problem but what ever you do, don't let the little man win and keep kissing your husband! Tell your son that it a way that you show you care for each other. On the other hand, there could be something more going on in your family life too.
1 person likes this
@princessmom1011 (719)
• United States
13 Nov 07
well i was talking to my son without saying the wrong thing where it ended up in him throwing a fit adn what i was able to get out of him was he finds it very gross and the reason others can kiss his dad is because they are people he sees everyone once in a while and not everyday like me so they kiss him here and there where im all the time . so im starting to understand somewhat
1 person likes this
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
14 Nov 07
LOL. I guess then it is a boy thing! Just as well I only have girls!
I do hope he grows out of it soon for you though!
@ayou82 (3450)
• Philippines
13 Nov 07
Wow, first time to hear this kind of reaction from a 7 year old kid. Usually kids like to see their mom and dads kissing and hugging and sweet to one another but your kid i think he is just jealous or he gives a wrong impression about it. Just make him understand. What a cute kid. Goodluck!
1 person likes this
@princessmom1011 (719)
• United States
14 Nov 07
he finds it to be very disgusting and said kissing on the cheek is fine just not on the lips im just glad its not a jealousy factor because that was concerning me a little but i can handle the ewwwwww she has cuddies stage ! thank you for your comment
@jm21189 (45)
•
13 Nov 07
my little cousin does that with his mom and dad also its because they are attached t you and they dont want you giving away your love to anyone else its almost as if they are jelous its silly but alot of kids have that problem with their parents showing affection to eachother
@princessmom1011 (719)
• United States
13 Nov 07
yes im aware of the jealousy aspects of young children and at first thought nothing of it but then his tantrums started getting worse and well he says its just because he finds it gross and its not like daddy and i do it everyone once in awhile we always have to be kissing. i explained to him that when two people love one another thats what they do and he said "well then cant you just kiss on the cheek" so im starting to see that it isnt necessarily a jealous thing but its more of the "cuddies" thing!
@subha12 (18441)
• India
13 Nov 07
Its really weird I think.
I have never heard of this type of problem.
How old is he/
I think its quite unnatural of him.
I think somehow he has got the idea that its really gross.
You must talk to him more about this and make him comfortable.
@princessmom1011 (719)
• United States
14 Nov 07
He's 7 and yes he is defintely extremely grossed out about it and that makes me feel much better because i was very concerend thinking his behavior was due to jealousy !
@carlaabt (3504)
• United States
13 Nov 07
My son sometimes gets mad when my husband and I kiss, too. He tells my husband "No daddy, that MY mommy!" Other times he is fine with it, and even wants to kiss us both, too. He's a lot younger than your son, though.
I'm not really sure what to tell you. I wouldn't stop kissing your husband, though.
1 person likes this
@princessmom1011 (719)
• United States
14 Nov 07
I dont plan on stopping the kissing believe me! but i am learning my son isnt jealous hes more grossed out which makes it a little more understandable so maybe we will do less kissing in front of him however not stop it all together if we want to kiss and hes there hell have to deal! thanks for your comment
@yojspew (171)
• Philippines
13 Nov 07
It's my first time, too to hear about this kind of situation..I think your son is jealous with you..but the strange thing is why he doesn't want his dad to show you some affection but when it comes to other people it's ok...I think you need to talk to him more and show him that you love him so much and that you understand him.
@princessmom1011 (719)
• United States
13 Nov 07
well i had a talk with him regarding why it was ok for others and not me and he said when others show his daddy affection its people that dont see him often so its not like they are kissing and hugging him all the time but with me we do it everyday and he finds it very gross! so im starting to get some insight to whats running through his head
