Don't Get Married - Don't Have Kids (Stateside)

I left my husband, left him the house and everything, just took my essentials... Maybe with the right person marriage and kids are okay, but in my personal experience, while I love my kids I wouldn't have them if I had to live my life over. Doubt I would even consider marriage either. Life is way too hard as a single parent, and I would love to be single and unencumbered by kids for a change, but I made my decisions and have to live with them. I love my kids, please don't get me wrong -- I just get tired sometimes...

Excellent discussion you two. I'll state one thing though, most of the laws are messed up and plenty of guys are either boycotting marriage or are extremely cautious about it (I'm more of column B than A I believe). Women can also stray and then say "goodbye stranger" to her husband (while serving noted divorce papers). Anyhow, I feel both of you contributed justly to the conversation. Thank you for sharing your cases. I've always said both spouses need to really be in marriage with their feelings and efforts, they cannot afford to have misconceptions nor can they afford to go into relationships with too selfish a mindset. Last thing I'll say, I've seen guys acting like clowns in relationships and marriage (but society and the media do nothing but show that round the clock; inversely better men aren't shown at all, neither are the clownish women in said relationships). If things were at least more even in displays, mindsets and law things might not be so bad.

Thanks Gamer, dang forgot the other respondants name already! Grrrr! lol I should have stated that I totally understand both sides, and that not ALL women are like this. The shoe fits both men and women, as far as messing things up or being shady in the marriage. I just tend to lean toward the man's side of things when it comes to getting a divorce. The mojority of women, again, not all, act like they are the ones in the clear and have done nothing wrong and deserve everything that was accumulated during the course of the marriage. I mean seriously, how many cases do you hear about where the man gets the kids, the house, the cars, the income all that from a woman? Its VERY rare. My parents had a rather clean divorce, my dad took his clothes, his favorite chair and that was it. They didnt fight or argue about anything. Even though, had I been my mother, I would have been pretty upset. My dad left her for another woman. But my mother was very civil and respectful as well as my dad. Thank Goodness!! Bay xx

Fair enough. I too hope people do find the happiness they seek. I'm definitely much more careful in the endeavor, and I'm also satisfied remaining single.

Some of that is possible, but in my experience its not as common. Still should be mentioned in more of an expanded entry or article. As for the claim about men walking out for younger women I've seen three major instances on this. One is yes he's selfish, inconsiderate and wants someone younger. Two is that the wife puts him out and screws him over, and somehow he ends up with someone younger. Three is that the wife abused him for 10-20+ years (be it emotional, verbal, social, physical, doesn't matter, it happened) and he just up and left. That's what I've come across in my studies and observation of this whole situation. As for the case about men leaving due to the spouse becoming ugly, seen that too. But does anyone want to consider women who leave for some superficial reasons of their own (looks, she's bored, she wants someone else, he's not good enough/[very subjective and I've learned to be suspicious of either gender using this], etc). This is something else I've come across from multiple stories. And about the slanting Unselfish, there are plenty of shows, magazines, articles, basically a whole slew of media where its always the guy's fault (and along with this plenty of male downfalls are describe, a few are fictionalized and passed as reality) and its based more for women and their no fault status. It happens, that's how some of this goes. I'd also say that even if he gave advice on how to make marriage work he'd probably catch flak for giving bad advice or because certain readers simply won't agree (so in a sense he and most other people who try giving said advice can't win in that respect either.) Well anyways, I do understand what you are saying and I'll say again, I've seen the cases of it. I just wanted to post some cases that run contrary to what you described. Oh and great post to you too Unselfish. I'll be keeping an eye out for more of your workings on mylot. This goes without saying but + for you as well.