couples sleeping in different beds

I am very surprised at the answers I received. When most people hear me and my husband don't share a bed they assume I kicked him out of it for some reason or there is just something wrong with our marriage. These are the reasons we no longer share a bed: 1. he SNORES really loud. It wasn't that bad when we got married but keeps getting worse 2. we only have a twin bed right now and there just isn't room We have slept apart for other reasons during our marriage but mostly it boils down to the snoring. We don't have the space for him to have his own room so the couch it is. I have offered to take turns sleeping on it but he refuses which is funny because last year he refused to be pushed out of bed and I slept on the couch or floor (before we had the sofa) almost every night. Back then we were having problems now it is just the snoring and the too small bed. I'm glad to see people don't just automatically assume we are angry at each other or not wanting to be married. I would love to be able to share a bed again (occasionally--because I do like my space) but I can't take the snoring.

There are couples who dodn't share beds for fighting reasons. Or for reasons people can't even understand. My aunt sleeps in the room with thier daughter and my uncle sleeps in the room with their son. We don't know why as they are a weird couple in the first place. Anyway, these days it actually seems to be a very common thing that people don't sleep in the same bed. Has your husband ever been checked for sleep apnea? and/or is he overweight? My mom was overweight and always snored really bad so my dad would go sleep on the couch. Then she was actually diagnosed with sleep apnea and that was a lot of the problems. She lost weight and such so she doesn't snore nearly as bad anymore. who knows you may have luck in sleeping together in the same bed again one day!

Of course the real question of "sleeping together" is more an intimacy question then where you sleep at night. Really, the couch, the bed, one room or another, doesn't matter as long as the marriage is healthy and there is intimacy.

That sucks that your relationship is going badly. I have been there, luckily we pulled it back together. But you were right--he snores and we both have bad backs that make it hard to share a small bed. We're hoping to get one of those Sleep Number beds one day (when we have a room big enough for it--we have a twin bed because it is all that will fit in our room) so he can have the bed soft and I can have it hard, like we both like.

i guess so!!

Sounds like me and my husband. I like a hard bed, he likes a soft one. I like it cool, he is always freezing when I am comfy. I have to have the window fan on for white noise (it isn't in the window--just sitting on the floor and in the winter I point it towards my feet--it is just for the noise) and it bugs him. My parents, too, slept in separate rooms for years mostly because of my dad's snoring but also because they were having issues in their marriage. I never thought much of it as a kid until my mom moved back into the main bedroom. Then I felt it was weird they were in the same room, lol, because they had slept apart for so long.

Yes, there were times we slept in separate rooms because we were angry at each other. But mostly, since we agreed to sleep separately, we have both been happier. We both get a good night's sleep and can handle things better. When we used to share a bed I never got any sleep. I was woken up every few minutes for the first hour or so and then several other times during the night. For years I was getting 4-5 hours of sleep, broken into little 20 minute increments and sleep deprivation has really worn on me. I would scream at everyone for no reason because I was so exhausted all the time. And I was getting migraines every single day from lack of sleep. I was ready to leave him because his attitude was so poor and that was mostly in reaction to the way I was treating him which was because he snored and I got no sleep. So our sleeping arrangements were the root cause of a lot of our marital problems it turns out. We'll probably always sleep apart on a regular basis. I know he would rather sleep in the bed with me but I can't deal with it. He snores and hogs the bed and I need it quiet and peaceful to sleep.