My New Therapist
By Leca
@lecanis (16647)
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
November 28, 2007 5:27pm CST
So today I went back to therapy for the first time in a few years, and I had told some people I would let them know how it went, so I thought I would just start a discussion. :p
As some of you know, my last therapist did me more harm than good. Essentially all he did was condemn me for every decision I had ever made in my life, and then try and pull out his own morality and beliefs and apply them to my life. Bleh.
So I was really nervous about going to a new therapist. My doctor gave me a list of them, and I immediately not only crossed out but blacked out with marker the idiot I had seen last. Among the names left, there was a lady I had met briefly through a religious organization I am sometimes involved with, and my mind immediately went "She's the one."
I was right. She is. She's excellent. I wasn't expecting to get into anything too deep this first session, but one question led to another and I just found myself talking to her as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She was so kind too. She's going to call my insurance and try to work things out for me with them, and if she can't, she said she'll work out something I can afford to pay her.
I came home bouncing in a way I haven't in a long time. :)
13 people like this
18 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
28 Nov 07
Oh I hope it works out for you. The person I want to see tried to help out with the financial part by going with our income. Unfortunately, it is still too much and so I will have to wait until I get an outside job to afford it..:(
2 people like this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
28 Nov 07
Aww I'm so sorry to hear it didn't work out for you! :(
I'm a little worried with the financial problems we're having right now, but there are still a couple luxuries I can cut out if I have to, in order to get the help I need. Sorry to hear you can't, and I hope it gets better soon!
2 people like this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
29 Nov 07
Thanks..:) I am sure it will work out, since I have to get a job to cover the bills, I know I can get the extra to see who I want. This guy out of all I have seen is the only one to show belief in me and not take my husbands side and say that it is only my problem.
2 people like this
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
28 Nov 07
Sounds like you had a very positive appointment today with your new therapist. Glad to hear you are happy and comfortable.
Have a daughter who is a therapist and she leaves the office happy she is able to help someone else. Seems therapy sessions work both ways and is very rewarding for both the client and therapist where there is positive, honest input from both sides.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
28 Nov 07
Thanks! :)
Thanks for showing me things from the other side there! I hadn't really thought about how it felt to be in the other person's shoes on this one. It makes me wonder if my old therapist left those appointments as miserable as I did.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
4 Dec 07
This is good news and I'm really pleased for you. It was really brave of you I think to go and see another therapist and I hope you can resolve some issues soon. You are a very intelligent and sensitive person and interesting too. I wish you well.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
29 Nov 07
I am so glad everything worked out.What a difference a therapist makes. Take Care.
2 people like this
@jenseyedea (579)
• United States
29 Nov 07
Working in the same feild I think it is very important to have a sound relationship with your therapist. It will only help you through whatever it is you need to work through. Good luck! :)
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
29 Nov 07
Very happy for you. I don’t know this lady neither am I likely to, but even then I am thankful to such people who have an uncanny instinct to reach out to people and take out their inner turmoil from within them and somehow heal it. you will definitely see an marked improvement in your outlook towards everything and I sure hope that things will brighten up from now on.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
29 Nov 07
Oh Lecanis thats fabulous!! I actually lucked out like that too with my therapist (whom I do want to get back into see) after not going to one for over 15 yrs due to the ones before her being a$$holes, idiots and totally in the wrong line of work :-/
I'm so glad it went well for you!
1 person likes this
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
• United States
29 Nov 07
How very happy I am for you and how sad I am that I missed you today. You know you were in my thoughts and buried so deeply inside my heart you should have heard it beating.~Donna Momma
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
29 Nov 07
Greetings Lecanis...
I am not around as much lately because of other commitments but when I checked the 'discussions my friends started' and saw yours I wanted to comment. It is so good to hear that you have found someone that you feel good about working with.
My hubs and I do life coaching and do not consider ourselves therapists. However, clients tell us what we do is definitely therapeutic and that is good to know. When I read rhw comparatives between your old therapist to this new one the thing that struck me was that last time around there was not an environment of emotional safety there. In my view that is the key to most interpersonal relationships...for without a sense of being 'safe' within the dynamic it is pretty hard to open up and create any sort of transformational changes that are positive...and lasting.
So my friend...good to know you feel you are in good hands. Wishing you many light filled blessings as your progress in your pathways of discovery.
Raia
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Nov 07
*nods* Your work sounds really interesting!
You're right, I didn't feel at all safe when it came to my old therapist. As soon as he starting being judgmental of me, it ruined any possibility of my feeling that way, but I felt kind of not comfortable from the beginning. It just wasn't a good fit at all.
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
2 Mar 08
Yes, I love all aspects of my work. Life coaching, leading groups and free lance photojournalism. Sharing ideas and assisting others in living their best lives...only work if you don't like it!
Thanks for your best response...and I hope things are going well with your therapy. I trust the light of Truth will continue to illuminate your path.
Raia
@vicki2876 (5636)
• Canada
29 Nov 07
Glad to see that you were happy about your therapy. I have tried to go here but they are over an hour and a half drive there which is too far for me to get to.
Wish you lots of luck with her and I hope she is the one!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
29 Nov 07
That's great lecanis! I know just what you mean too for I've seen a therapist quite a bit from the time I was 21 till I was 27. One retired while seeing her and then I was seeing another and she was a total "B"!! She dogged me left and right when I didn't do things her way. I couldn't do the things she wanted me to because I wasn't ready yet. Then I saw another one, this one a man, he didn't know his a-hole from a hole in the ground! LOL So yeah it's sooo important to change when one isn't comfortable because you're not going to get anywhere with the wrong person. Good for you!! I wish you the best!
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Nov 07
Ha, it sounds like your experiences have been much like mine! When I was a kid I had some really messed-up ones, and then my most recent one was soooo judgemental. GAH! But my new one is so nice, and as soon as I stepped into her office I just felt safe. It was awesome. :)
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Nov 07
You know, you made a good point about not being ready yet. That was one of the problems I had with a few therapists when I was younger... that I just wasn't ready to do things they wanted of me. Some things have to come in their own time, and rushing them just causes more damage.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
29 Nov 07
Yup. I was surprised to see another had delt with the same issues as I have. Makes you wonder where or how they got their degree! The very first one I had was soooo nice and patient but she retired soon after I started seeing her. I still remember her name, that's how much of an impact she had on me. The others were the same way as your bad ones, judgemental and rushing me to do things that I wasn't ready for. Yes it causes much more damage doing things that one isn't ready for. But it was their way or the highway soI took the highway, gladly. I'm so happy for you! Now maybe you'll get somewhere with your problems instead of getting deeper and deeper that even a shovel won't get you out.
1 person likes this
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
29 Nov 07
Hi Lecanis,
I'm really happy that you are feeling good about her, that you found someone that your comfortable with and trust. Trusting people is VERY important and it's a shame that so many people in the world take this for granted when dealing with other human beings. Not only does it distort the relationship between you and the person defying your trust, it distorts the relationship with anyone you come into contact with. Keep smiling!
Bay Lay Gray xx
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
29 Nov 07
Yes, well when you have been lied to for so long from someone that you totally trusted, it really messes up your perception. I know from experience. It still rocks my current relationship with my husband at times, and I hate that I can't let it go and treat him like he is the person he is, not the person that messed up my security. He understands though, and helps me work through it. Gotta love him for that! :)
Hugs Bay xx
1 person likes this
@girlgonefishing (2174)
• United States
29 Nov 07
Oh lecanis I just want to hug you right now! I can't believe you FINALLY had a good day. I know you have been down lately and hopefully this woman can help with that. I will try and be here for you as much as I can too. Just always remember, there are a lot of MyLot people out there who are there for you. I'm not so sure you can ever fully recover from the horrible things that have happened to you but, I wish for you a happier life. Sounds like you are on the right road this time.
1 person likes this
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
28 Nov 07
aww hun that's so great!
It's amazing when you find someone who's right for you, and it looks like you just did. It's nice to see you happy and bouncy, don't forget to keep us updated, it seems like this one is going to do good for you :)
hugs
1 person likes this
@CoffeeAnyone (3210)
• Canada
29 Nov 07
I don't know your story but that is fabulous news! Nothing like havin a little pep to your step.
1 person likes this
@filmbuff (2909)
• United States
2 Mar 08
I'm glad you found someone you connect with. I know this is months later, but I hope it's still a good, positive, healthy relationship.
I've been thinking more and more than I should be in therapy. However my one and only experience with a therapist was a very bad one. It's humorous now, but man some people are waaay off base.
Any tips for finding a good therapist, one that I can actually aford seeing as how I don't have health insurance?
1 person likes this
