It's not fair
By aquajules4
@aquajules4 (583)
November 29, 2007 7:56am CST
life is not fair.
There is people like me that don't want to be alive, i've tried different ways of killing myself. But each time it did not work apart from shooting myself or stabbingmyself the thought of the pain is not good.
But why is it there are people dying everyday with cancer etc who want to live and die leaving children and family behind.
i'm on anti depressants but they don't work and although i am an alcoholic, i've been trying to quit but i cannot find any real good reason to stop. I've been to the AA meetings for it but find it a waste of time as i've no reason to want to stop and deep down i hope that eventually the booze will kill me. I was very disappointed when my doctor did a liver test and everything was fine and nothing wrong with me.
Thanks for listening. If you have any ideas on what to do next please help me.
2 people like this
7 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
29 Nov 07
I think it is sad that you think this way, I guess we all have bad times and think these thoughts but we all should try and find the good things in life, life really is so short anyway, you should try and look at the little things in life that can make you happy, I find being around animals does it for me, I myself have been let down so much by friends and family, animals are my ticket to happiness...
@aquajules4 (583)
•
29 Nov 07
the trouble is i was a mistake from the beginning, my own mother did not want me. She had me adopted.
I cannot do anything new, i have no money, no job and no friends.
most new things you need money.
If you can think of anything else that might help please help me.
1 person likes this
@honnasiri (30)
• India
29 Nov 07
my firm belief is that if life is to be worthwhile then it has to have some use and if we end up being sick about it right from the start then we are missing out on something. you will find your groove when you do till then keep searching.
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
1 Dec 07
Are you Christian? If you are one, please go have a life changing counselling session with the nearest Paster-you will see that you have a big role to play in your life and in the life of others, drinking your life away is the reason that the beauty of life is shrouded in you mind-you are a valued single individual in the eyes of God and in the eyes of men, the only problem is you are sticking to the wrong choice. Try what I say if you are Christian-See an Imam if you are Islamic, do that right away aqua!
@nancygibson (3736)
• France
29 Nov 07
Could you team up with someone else to help motivate each other to do specific things, try new stuff, go new places, all to get a sense of what is out there and look for reasons that life isnt so bad? It also sounds if perhaps you might find some counselling sessions useful just so you can sort out to your own satisfaction whether you truly want to end it all, or whether yu are just looking for some good reasons to carry on. From your post, you really don't sound as if you want to end it, you just want this particular episode of your life to end, and there is a huge difference between the two. Hang in there, life does get better, but often we need help to see that.
1 person likes this
@juhiram (187)
•
3 Dec 07
HOPE is a medecine for living and let live...others.If we have this medecine with us there is some goal for that we live to reach i think you ae not having any aim and no work to compel ..and you are free without any responsibilities these question will lead you to have hope in your life around!! so this HOPE will not let Die...so better have it and move happily through out your life....sucessevly deserver your life to a good way and very worhtful and be a good one among others and try to built yourself more than before i mean improve yourself in one or the other way to show up your talent...this will bring you hope intern you will want to live..
@Kate324 (46)
• China
30 Nov 07
Killing yourself,then what will be going on? Nothing changed,except your family were shocked and sadness.Worst thing everyone must face,but how to come out of that,and how to let ourselves stand up again?Sometimes I will think life is so good,you see,sun is beautiful,moon is bewitch,and animals in the nature are so lovely and friendly.Human can creat what they want,man can help each other,how sweet we can live in this world.
I always thank my parents for bringing me to the world,although I feel painful sometimes,eventhough my boyfriend leaves me,at the same time,I have lost my job and I was far away from my friends,felt very lonely,but i still think my parents never felt dislike of me,so do my friend and stranges.When I think I can do something worthwhile,I will feel life is so good and I will carry on my steps.
On the whole,when you feel worst,pls just think some happy time you spend ever,think some people who care you,think the nature is wonderful,then everthing will be good in your mind.
@aquajules4 (583)
•
30 Nov 07
It's different to for me, my mum did not want me when i was born. although i found my birth family i'm the youngest of 10 but they want nothing to do with me. So i don't thank her at all. If she had believed in contraception and not religion. she would not have had me in the first place. She was the selfish one. she should have been more careful, after all my brothers and sisters all have different dad's aswell. My thoughts of what my mother was i cannot say on here.
I've felt this depressed for years since i was at school and got bullied.
The doctor wont take me serious. So what can i do
@Kate324 (46)
• China
30 Nov 07
First of all,I would like to say I am very sorry to hear your story,but I still think you can do something to make yourself encouraged.Just now a words occurs to my mind is that"adversity is the schoolmaster",I can see you have learned a lot as you are in the adversity situation now.
Actually,I can feel your pain from your heart,you weill always think why something good cannot happen to you,why your mother give your birth but cannot give you happiness.
But,can you try to imagine if your have a good childhood,what you will do,what is your ideality.Have you think about that? You are not easy to live in this world so long time until today,why you cannot insist on live.What you want and what you ever pray on your parents pls show to your future kids,show to your friend,show to so many strangers who give your help,could you do that?
Nothing will be changed if you pass away,then how about change something around you?You can,then you do.Life is not easy,right?But you can make it easier,never mind what others will think,but mind yourself.If you can smile and make friends to your enemy,then you can come to success.
