I can't believe my mom!

I am so sorry for the turmoil you and your mother have sepearating you right now... As far as finances and the army, if he gets a medical discharge for injuries incurred during active duty does he not get a full pension? how many years has he served?

My future mother-in-law is like that towards me more so than my mother is towards my fiance. I mean, she has issues with him, but she doesn't really outright insult him and his character. My fiance's mother calls me names and insults me pretty much any chance she gets ever since we got engaged. I haven't spoken to her in over a year and I refuse to associate with her because of it.

You are definately not alone. I love my mom to pieces, but she does the same thing to me. She critisizes my husband as well, because of the past. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that they've seen us hurt by this person and it makes it hard for them to forgive. No mom wants to see their child hurt no matter how old their child is. It's annoying and can make you very angry at times, but you have to put yourself in her shoes. She has seen the pain from the past and fears you might go through that again. When my mom does this to me I either change the subject or say, would you look at the time, I have to go. It works sometimes. On a different note, I'm sorry to hear that your husband didn't pass the test. I'm sure you will both be fine and work out the kinks in your finiances.

Ok Sweetie honest Opinion Your Mother should not talk about him like that What is in the past is in the past At the end of the Day it is you that matters and you have forgiven him, you love him and you are happy with him, so your Mum has no right to run him down to you Ok if she can't forgive him that is her problem but she is not even giving him a chance here so just ignore her or stand up to her and tell her Sweetie It is you and your Husband that matter and no one else I really hope all this gets sorted and that he will be ok The Army should be able to put him on Light Duties for the time being I hope it all turns out fine Hugs to you

I'm sorry to hear that your mother is acting like that. I have to say that my mother gets along really well with my hubby and I can tell my mom anything and she understands. Your mom might have past issues with your husband but she needs to forgive and move on. You are with him again and she needs to respect you guys in the decisions you make. I'm sorry he can't pass the PT test. I hope he doesn't have to get out of the army. But if they do let him out then he can't help that and your mom shouldn't think any less of him because of it. I hope things get better for you.

Wow... no offense but your mom seems to love throwing stones from her glass shed eh? Well, maybe she can tell its glass from up there on the high horse... I dont know. It's very funny she picks on him like this. She ever been in a warzone? She ever been through some of the pain he has? She ever tried any of the hobbies? /facepalm... /temple rub. Sigh... I'm sorry about that and I'm sorry this whole situation ended up like this. I hope your husband will recover as fast and as best as possible. I hope you and your family are doing alright in all this too. I want you all to be assured and safe. Probably not much but its how I feel. I do know your mother wants the best for you but throwing him under the aforementioned glass shed and high horse isn't the best at all. Not even close. Also...and I maybe wrong but it is what's written... I didn't see her doing much or finding a real way to help you and your family. All I saw was griping and putdowns.

Look most probably it is from the fact that your mom is still not able to believe him. As you know he is trying his best whatever he can do, then its Ok. It is due to his pain only that he could not pass the PT test. Don't hear so much what your mother complains If you know taht it is not at all the reason.

i can't believe your mom either. LOL i don't have a husband yet but my mother is not like that towards my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. at first she was skeptical and indifferent towards them, but when she saw that they are doing their best for my sister and brother, she became nice to them. i'm the one who is not nice to them. LOL anyway, i also think its better to have a husband in one-piece than a cripple one. if he's in one piece, even if he's not in the army anymore, he would still be able to earn money in other ways, although not as lucrative as in the army. but, its better that way than nothing right?? maybe your mother is just really getting old and cranky. ^__^;; i think you should just ignore what she said. she'll come out of it if he saw your husband doing his best, in or out of the army. ^__^

well i may have a little story that my air cadet leader told us one day. he told us a story about a man in the army who because of medical problems could not run the early morning 10 mile run he would always be out of breath and have to fall out after a half a mile then one day a guy from the platoon told him to just try to make it the length of one block and keep doing that til the end. the man tried this and when he did he was able to run the whole 10 miles without taking a break and without stopping. the point of this story is if you break down a really hard task like running 2 and a half miles into blocks and just try to make it one block at a time. it makes the task extremly easy and you will be amazed at what you can acheive when you just take it one step at a time. tell your husband to try this do a practice run with him and then ask him how he feels after 2 and a half miles is 25 blocks remember that

I felt such joy while reading your story now my heart feels so full I can barely attain it. How blessed you both are to have found each other again. I am sure you both have learnt from the past and you are both probably changed for the better because of it. Now you are a gift of love to each other. Wow, it can't be better then that in life to have a second chance! LOL don't get me wrong I am in a second marriage and it is my second chance as finally I have a good man in my life. For the both of you what a wonder gift. I pray God will intervene in your struggles and give you both the strength and grace to go through it. May Gods healing power be upon your husband. Just ask him. I don't know where you and your husband are with that but really, God doesn't mind you asking for His help. You just never know when a miracle is going to happen; but if you ask not, you receive not! I am blessed for reading your story.

I wish I had a mother too, at this time. Mine has gone from 11 years now and I miss her so much. Everybody has problems with his parents, children and friends but this is the way life is made. We need them in good and in bad times.Your mother doesn't support you ok this is her thought and you must do everything you can to change her point of view. Imagine if you haven't her at all. I would like to have my mom here with me now but I cann't so don't worry just be happy for the opportunity life gives to you time to time. I wish you to not have problems in the future with your husband and your family. Good luck

i am so sorry for you mamasan, (not so much about your mom)- more about what's happening with your husband... i hope everything turns out okay - and he doesnt have to lose his job. moms can be cruel sometimes, cant they?. my mom talks down about my husband too, sometimes - more like blaming me - for not being able to find a 'better man'. i think they - or maybe it's just my mom, actually want us to live the life of a 'princess', and are just angry that the son-in-law, is not the 'prince' who could provide us such a comfy life, or worse yet... blaming us for not finding the prince that give us such a 'good' life.... am i 'overthinking' this subject ??... peace!

Sorry to hear that you have problems with your mother like this. Explain to your mom how you feel and maybe she will see that it hurts your feelings. I know my mom sometimes says things about my husband that makes me mad. I just try to ignore it though because i know that she means well. And im sure your husband is a very heroic man. It takes a lot to be in the service.

Oh yes. My mom gripes, complains and whines about everything. She loves to gossip and can not keep a secert for anything. She nags about everything and is never happy with anyone or anythings. She is a pessimist but I love her. She is my mom. She is not the one you go to for advice or to listen or for a sholder to cry on but she does have a big heart buried inside;; she jsut doenn't let many get to it. She has a shell that you have to break through.

I can understand your mom's skeptical opinion of your husband as his past might make her uncomfortable. However, your mother needs to respect your decision to stay with your husband and the fact you are happy. She should be extremely happy that you are happy. Most mothers want their children to be happy, content and self sufficient. This makes our job as a parent pretty complete. We never had any issues with my mother but my husband's mom had a problem since we were different religions. Eventually she got over it and accepted me for who I was and the fact I could produce three grandkids for her. It all worked out very well and we were good friends. I wish you the best. Wish there was something more I could suggest or say to help you along. Always remember, regardless of how or what your mother says to you, that she loves you.

Girl, you are so not in this alone. My mother is the same way about my husband over some past issues that you already know of. I feel like I am constantly having to defend him all the time and it really gets old. My husband plays video games and puts toy cars together to, but so what...like you said. if it gives them peace and it gives them an outlet out of all the bull they have to go through in the military, let them have there hobby time. I am so sorry that your mother is saying all of those horrible things about him. I have talked to you quite a bit about both of our stories and i know how difficult things can get. keep your eyes focused on your husband and how he's doing and just let go of the things your mother says. she definitely needs to be praying, as well as my mother does, that they can find forgiveness and let the past go. no one is perfect, but if they are trying give them that chance. talk to me later on. good luck girl and let me know how everything works out. God bless you and your husband

Hello there Mamasan !!!! Nope you're not alone... i mean my mom ain't like that but i know of some who have parents like that... and there are some too have an unforgiving heart despite time that passed... i may be guilty at times too... but going to what you're saying, i believe that it's better that your husband comes home in one piece. It might affect your family financially but there are lots of work online for the meantime.... plus prayers.... :-) Take care Mamasan

Hi! I am very sorry to hear your disappointment. Why not point a day to chat with your mon deeply. All of us ,as the daughter or son , know what our parents do is for us.I thinks she just want to protect your from being hurt again. maybe she acted in a wrong way. The best way for you to do is keep patient and saying kindly to with your mom, let her know and understand what you mean. You need her solace and encourage, right? Let's believe if you treat with your mom patiently and lovely . she will do it for you in the same way ,it is just the problem of time and how did you do.

Before responding about your mother, let's talk about your husband. If all and or part of his injuries occurred while he was in the Army(those preventing him from passing his PT), you need to get as much documentation as possible.I.E. Doctors records. hospital records, signed and notarized statements from other military personnel who were present when the injuries occurred and anything else you can think of. Also, your husband needs to contact the legal staff at his base and let them know of his concern about being discharged because he was unable to pass the PT. This is free advise and make sure you document everything he does, people he talks to, date/time, what was said ect. Talk to the Base Chaplain. If his injuries were a result of military service and he can't pass PT and they decide to discharge him, the only thing I see is a Military Disability Retirement, where he will receive a Military Retirement Compensation. Now, for your mother, many people have mothers or fathers who are far worst than your mother. She was wrong making those statements and many men enjoy the same hobbies that your husband does. I'd rather see him home doing his hobbies than out on the town blowing the families money. There is probably alot of deep seated resentment from your divorce from him that she just can't let go of. Your husband is probably going to have to make an extra effort to mend this relationship. You ask why your husband, well somebody has to forgive and make the effort if you want to salvage a good mother/ daughter/ grandchildren relationship. Regardless of the out come of your husbands career in the military, I liked what you had to say about you would rather have your husband in one piece instead of crippled 10 years down the road. Now, remember this if something should happen. There are plenty of jobs for people,handicapped or not, if you are willing to put forth the effort. I too, once faced a similar curcumstance. After being in law enforcement for 9 years, married with 2 young children, I hurt myself off duty which left me with a permanent limp. I was worried that I was going to be terminated but fortuneatly my strong suit wasadministrative with most assignments being in suits off the street. In addition, I was surrounded by alot of good people who went out of their way to help me. After putting in my 25 years I retired. In 2004, I had my third knee surgery during which my doctor made 3-4 crucial mistakes, leaving me permanently handicapped. Now, I can walk with one crutch and do about anything any body else can do. Through all of it, the support and love of my wife made the difference whether I was successful or not.