Would you rather have a maid or not?
By mcjeannie
@mcjeannie (703)
Philippines
December 11, 2007 11:45am CST
I have this newly hired maid who help me in the household chores and relieving me to take care of my four(4) month old baby.She's well verse with the chores but when it comes to preparing food or cooking, she's very inexperienced.She used to cook my breakfast, but it seems she doesn't have variety of cooking food.The food she cooked from yesterday is kept repeated the next day, and I hate eating cold food.She cooks ahead of time while I'm asleep.So these days, I cook my ow3wn food.I know I get tired taking acre of my baby at night and still have to cook on my own.Furthermore, she's so concern bathing ahead of me while there are still supposed to be works to be done.This scenario is getting in my nerves and sometimes my suppressed temper is shown on my responses to her.And oh by the way, she doesn't communicate to me in an adult way, and when I querry something, she doesn't respond...This is insane and crazy!If you're on my shoe, would you rather confront or forego what's going on???HELP!
6 people like this
30 responses
@whywiki (6066)
• Canada
11 Dec 07
I've never had a maid but I think I would like to have someone to do my housework. I hate cleaning house it is a pet peeve but a maid is too expensive for us. I don't think I would like someone else cooking for me though as I like my food the way I do it. Maybe you should look for a new maid that is more compatible with you.
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
11 Dec 07
I think you're right.Incompatibility would create some misunderstanding later.Yes, I cook my food this days.I don't eat rice all the time and she does, so better I would be cooking my own.
Thanks!
@makatas (1098)
• Greece
12 Dec 07
If i was at your place i wouldnt have a maid.Sorry, i can accept someone to clean the house every 3days or so and help with the chores, but i wouldnt like to eat what a stranger would cook for me.You might say, you got it when you eat at restaurants, but that wont be the same. Having a little baby,taking care of it and the housework, i know it isnt easy at all, so maybe i am wrong at this.If thats how it is convenient to you, then just discuss the problems with her and find a solution
1 person likes this
@addysmum (1225)
• Canada
11 Dec 07
I t must be nice to have a maid. I have a 4 year old and a 5 month old, these days I am up all night and all day taking care of my family. I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, my husbands lunch and do all the shopping for the family. This is something I think you will see in a lot of woman on mylot (maybe not to the extent that I do for my family). WhiI think you need a new maid because this one is not the one for you, you need someone who can do as you want when you want
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
11 Dec 07
You look at it that maid should supposed to make life easier for us Moms.That is TRUE if they are efficient.My parents when we were young have efficient maids.But gone are those rare ones.Today maids check out their employers if you have electronics in the house, including phones so that when you're not around, they will use it as they like and they will act like the boss.A maid is handy when supposed to be they are doing their roles very well. They became nuisance when they act like mine.
Thanks for sharing your idea.
@addysmum (1225)
• Canada
11 Dec 07
First a maid is supposed to be a help if yours is not then get rid of her and get a new one. Second for the first 3 years of my oldest sons life my husband got home after my son and I were in bed and he left before we got up, we only saw him 1 day a week but I still had to make sure that he was fed and clothed and came home to a clean house. I did everything, it was like being a single mom without having to work outside of the home. I know it is hard not having a husband around to help but I didn't even have a maid to help out I didn't even have family because we lived so far away from them I was truly along with no help at all and for the first year I had no car either so on grocery days I had to wake my son up and drive my husband to work at 2 AM so I could have the car to shop with then I had to drive an hour home unload the car, feed my son and do my chores then drive back the hour to pick him up at for 8 PM. What I was really getting at is while your maid is a pain in the butt for you at least you have some help and don't have to go throw the things that some of us are just to make ends meet and raise a family. I still say get a new maid.
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
11 Dec 07
Oh by the way my hubby is overseas working so I am left out on my own.He thought a maid would be good to help me while he is away.
@Krisss (1231)
• Australia
12 Dec 07
I had a maid when I lived in Asia and my two children were small. I never allowed her to care for my children, even though she loved and cared for them dearly. She was employed to do housework. I considered it such a bonus that I was freed from the drudgery of household duties and was able to play sing and read to my babies.
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
My husband is physically away, so that is not possible for me 24/7 hands on to my baby.I do leave her with my baby during errands as she is not used to getting nowhere in the city.But I made it sure the bathing is absolutely done before leaving her my baby.
@kemadruma (148)
• India
12 Dec 07
Well i had earlier but i dnt have and its good not to hav, because they really dnt care and u cannt trust more on them...
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
She's my second maid to be in my home.So far, I am still observing her!
@biggerb (2024)
• India
12 Dec 07
Since you have a baby to look after you would surely need a maid to help.But I guess you need one who is more compatible.You cannot have one just for the sake of having and if she is getting on your nerves it would deffinately not be a help.As for me I always need a maid.When I find them not to my liking I change them.In my country we do get maids.
@shahmeerx (368)
• Pakistan
12 Dec 07
In this modern era everybody is bound to do only one job which he can do properly to livehis life properly he must be commited to that job comletely,To do so a person if an engineer should be an engineer ,and he should hire maids or people to do other jobs as thoseare nothis jobs this way he can be most succesful,if is the maids occupation then she will learn herself to be a good one.!
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
So you also believe in second chance.Let's see, and hope it'd be OK!
@nmhschic2004 (1238)
• United States
12 Dec 07
I wouldnt mind having a maid at all. You say she seems very inexperienced. Where did you find her at? I would sit down and calmly explain to her what you dont like that shes doing. And if you still keep having problems with her i would say its time to let her go. Theres no point of keeping her around if you dont like the job that shes doing. Good luck.
Also what do you mean by she doesnt communicate with you in an adult way?
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
When you ask something she doesn't respond right away until the third time.I wonder if she got hearing problems.She doesn't ask what meal I like to eat that she would prepare.I also instructed that above all, my baby should be the center of our activity no matter what, but she insist to do otherwise her way!
@3lilangels (4639)
• United States
12 Dec 07
well i never had a maid but i would sure love one even if it was for only a day or so lol.i have 3 babies and my twins are 2 and my other one is 3.there is only 10 1/2 months apart between the 3 of them so it's like having triplets almost and a lot of work,so yes a maid would be cool.
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
It's not that easy as you think.The thought of it is of queenly existence but the real drama starts when you have one!
@mistissa (1349)
• Netherlands
12 Dec 07
When I read your post there were 2 things that I tought of. First of all you hired the maid so why did you not ask if she was able to cook? Second of all if she does not pay any respect what is the use of having a maid? On the other hand you are complaining about being up at night with your baby etc. Lots of people have it much worse. I am a mother of 3 small kids and my husband is not very helpfull either, WE don't have the money to afford a maid and I have to do everything myself. I don't mean to come down on you like that, but you are very lucky to have a maid. BUT. if she does not do what you want and she doesn't even communicate I would get another maid if I were you. Good luck with the situation
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
Well being a Mom of two, I am used to sleeping late. And as a Nurse I get used to short duration sleep too.But let's admit it, the body gets exhausted and it would be nice that since there's a maid around to relieve once in a while...it would be nice and good if she's utilized.Been like four months drinking cold coffee, and eating my meal unfinished.I mean that when the term relieve me is that she stop what she is doing and have some concern to at least offer and say, "You eat first I'll take care of the baby". In turn I do offer help to her too when she gets exhausted.Also, I need sometime to go to the bathroom for necessity and she does too. But she make sure hers is done first and I get all the postponement...if you see what I mean.I believe in any levels of relationship, it is always a give and take scenario.
@garnet80 (349)
• Australia
12 Dec 07
I have never had a maid but this woman should be respecting you and your family. When you hired her was cooking part of the job description. Maybe next time you should get them to cook for you so you know what their cooking is like lol. Respect is a big part for sure. You are the boss in this case and you and your family should be the ones coming first not her. Maybe it's time for a new maid. And you might feel tired now with a little baby but later on as you get used to having a little one things will become easier. Congradulations on your new additons to your family.
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
Yes I have high hopes that things will get easier soon!Today, I did show her how to cook one of my recipe.Might tone her behaviour into a good one with kindness and education!
@cartoon4umaniacs (1648)
• United States
12 Dec 07
You know the question is not rather you should have a maid or not but rather should you change the maid or confront her and make her change her ways. You should have a maid because you by yourself with a new baby. I am a mother I know how hard that is. I had lots of helpers so it is a lot easier on me and my husband took more than a month off to help me as well. A maid is great because she will do all the duties you don't want to do. You should not let her run your household--You are her master so to speak. Tell her what you want to be done and expect it to be done to your expectations if not done so let her go. She is easily replaced so not that important. But you on the other hand is very important, you have to be able to function the way you want to and be happy and have a easier time being in motherhood not harder. Life is simple if you choose to make it so...let her know and let her go if she don't do what you want....simple if you can't let her go let your husband fire her. This is called delegation. Sometime you can't do delegated to someone who can do...
@missybal (4490)
• United States
12 Dec 07
I don't know what it's like having a maid but I know people with 6 kids that do it all themselves. If you don't like the way she is doing things she works for you so you either put up with it or tell her to leave. Either get someone new or do it yourself. Personally I only let my husband cook for me because he knows what i like. If someone who works for me was talking down to me like I was some child they would be fired on the spot. If all that you wrote is true it's time to get a new maid.
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
Well folks today some things come up and suddenly her mood is upbeat and she is communicating.Most things she did today were my instruction...let's see where it will lead.I always believe in a second chance.Thanks for sharing your ideas.
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
Well, If you are not satisfied with your helper, then I think it would be better if you confront her and let her go. You know, its hard if your helper gets mad at you, you dont know her well and you know what she can do to you and to your baby. With helper, I am really picky. its because I dont want something bad happen to my kids.
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
I wish I had done that before hiring her.She is a friend of my sister's maid, that's why I didn't screen her beforehand.Well, I am regretting that now!
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
Right now, I could not afford to loose a maid. Because my husband works away from us. I have kids to take care, a business, and a house to attend to. Without a help from my maid, my life will become miserable. I might gone crazy, lol But hopefully in the future, my kids could already do it on their own. And a maid will no longer be a necessity for us.
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
I did actually closed my business as the first maid just left without notifying me she will not be coming back. She just ask permission to visit her daughter in law who have delivered.But then, she didn't comeback and it took me nearly three months to hire one.So, I will my new maid another chance.
@tryxiness (4544)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
I am more effective if I do not have a maid around. I mean, it may be quite difficult but atleast I can say that at the end of the day I did all the works. :) I mean, having no maid makes you independent and somehow disciplines you with the chore. :) Honestly, having a maid around means having to trust a stranger before you get to know her which is way weird.
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
I am not judgemental but I'd like to give her a chance.Thanks.
@scoles (65)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
in that situation, i think you should look for a replacement am pretty sure you've already talk to her and yet sometimes to response and she can't talk maturely and the worst she can't cook variety of food its really disgraceful you know... my advice look for new maid...
@mcjeannie (703)
• Philippines
12 Dec 07
Yeah you're right. Communicatiion is so far the best to resolve issues.Thanks!
